Dreams on Wheels

A Delage roadster, mint condition and ready for a spin..

Retromobile Rolls Into Town In Overdrive -
Taking New Looks at Old Fancies

Paris:- Friday, 6. February 1998:- Due to 'technical problems' like my mail-server being down for two days, which requires me to do a speed-research job for friends at a TV-production outfit in Studio City, I am late off the mark in getting launched towards the Retromobile Salon at Paris-Expo, over at the Porte de Versailles.

I spend my time on the train and the métro reading Libération's account about Nina's peep-show on the Web, done from a nondescript apartment in the 18th arrondissement.

The lady who runs it thinks Nina should learn touch-typing to speed up her text part of the Web-video sessions. It costs 149 francs for an unlimited session, or 14.90 francs a minute - but it sounds so goofy it might even give 'Peep-Shows' a good name.

And that takes care of funny-business for the day, because now I am at Paris-Expo and the hall 'Retromobile' is in, is just inside the gates - instead of the usual 750 metres away.

Retromobile is the 23rd annual nostalgia high point for car-freaks in Paris. There is a bit for motorcycle and boat-freaks too, the latter because they also have motors, as well as being very shiny. Motorcycles are only motors, with wheels attached as afterthoughts; but there are pure wheel-freaks too.

Last year the show was in another hall at Paris-Expo; one that had corners. This year, it has returned to its former rectangular space in the ground floor of Hall 2, so it is all in one huge space about the size of the Dodge City stockyards, or the parking lots of some major malls.

Retromobile does not have well-oiled organization, at least not for the press. I received my stuff - except for the poster which wasn't printed then - from them in late December or early January, but they don't send out invitations to the 200-odd names on their list because it is too expensive. Instead I have to argue with the security guys to get in.

The official government organization which attributes official French Press Cards, does not attribute any to reporters working for Internet publications - and does not give any out to publishers in any case; so charm is the only way to pass the gatekeepers.

If I had gone to any auto parts supply shop, I could have gotten a free invitation for nothing - and I get one of these from the press people - after I am in. I promise not to lend it to anybody.

Once the excitement of getting in is over, I am confronted with a huge salon. To the left, I can see parts of very shiny cars; straight ahead I see smaller stands or booths. These run down both sides of the building and at the end, like the crossbar on a 'T' are a whole bunch of cars on display, and cars also fill up most of the middle space between the two lines of booths.

I take to the closest booths first. These have model cars, usually old, and books, also old, and some paintings of old cars, usually new, and some unusual displays by 'automotive artists.'

It occurs to me that car nuts are born and not made. If you ever sat on the grass side of a road with your feet in a ditch, and tried to outguess your friends about the identity of oncoming cars as they were still 300 meters off, then you are probably a 'born' car nut.

'Made' car nuts are people who don't know or care what kind of car they're in, until they've got enough extra money together to have the notion that having a rare car might be a better conversation piece than a baseball hand-signed by 'Mickey Mantle.'

These people are currently pushing the prices of collector-grade 1950's US-brands through the roof. In a recent bidding match, two crazies topped out at $250,000 for a '57 Chevy that wasn't worth a penny over $95,000. I'll take a wild guess that its new price in 1956-7 was around $2850. - with all options.

Last year at this show I made a point of focusing on the old cars of the remaining French manufacturers, but this year - being a bit wobbly after starting the day looking for Mata Hari's Champs-Elysées hotel - I will look at anything.

This means that one of the first things I am looking at are Mr. J. Paul Nesse's car sculptures. Mr. Nesse is from Minnesota, and he will return there before coming back to Europe for a salon in Essen and another in Britain later in the spring.

The sculptures are fairly large - about 750 centimetres long - and in addition to the accurate rendering of the car, also have a figure or two; perhaps standing beside an open car door.

The colors are very low-key - grays and browns - exactly so they don't look like other, over-bright, model cars. The hand-cast sculptures are made in series' of less than 20 and in addition to being hand-signed, are expensive - costing more than a new small Fiat. This is Mr. Nesse's ninth year at this salon.

Through the bend in a salon attender's elbow I see part of a chrome circle with '300' in it. When this person moves aside, I see a whole red Chrysler 300 two-door hardtop, with bigger-than Cadillac-sized white-wall tires. Banker's hotrod! This car has come to the salon from Britain.

On the same stand, sponsored by Chrysler France, there is also a black-black Chrysler 300 with a white convertible top. Ohhh. Foreclosure-style banker's hotrod! This set of wheels is from southern France. The third car on the stand is worth a mention too: another Chrysler, a 1947 light-green convertible 'woodie.' I have never seen one of these before.

Right after this stand I run into the speedboats. If the Royal Yacht Club's 1912 'Batboat' I mentioned in the Retromobile previews is here I do not see it because of the 1955 Chris-Craft 'Cobra.'

This is apparently a rare model - numbered 35 - which was recently found in France. The plastic-looking attachment of a tail wing does not really take anything away from the rest of its gleaming mahogany hull and chrome trim, and I have to take it on faith that the motor really is a 285 hp Cadillac V8, capable of pushing the elegant thing along at 90 kph.

It is the afternoon of the salon's first day. There are a fair number of - presumably jobless - spectators, but not so many as to make clear photographs of the cars impossible. This evening will be hopeless. More of the visitors are men than women and quite a few of them are not dressed like the visitors to the Comdex show, currently on elsewhere at Paris-Expo.

The main language I hear is French but I have an impression that a lot of visitors may have come straight from the boat-train after crossing the Atlantic on a Holland-America Line ship. I also hear some British accents and quite a bit of German.

As it is Ford's 100th anniversary as well as Renault's, Ford has a big stand - at the back - with some rare wheels on it: a really old Model-T, an original Thunderbird and a clean red Mustang, dated 1964 1/2.

In the back-left corner there is a buvette with hot snacks and cold beer, and from here, along this left side to the front, are many of the parts stands. There are also badge stands, decal stands, accessory stands of every sort, plus clothing stands for leather motorcycle jackets, split-lens goggles and caps.

The parts stands are too much. Most of them look a bit like some walk-in modern sculpture of the '70's, purposely made slightly grease-stained and worn, just like the original Walsh's Auto Wreckers on East Pender Street. They have just... everything. If you want - need! - for example, a complete Alfa Romeo flat-eight, complete with eight carbs; it's here. Cash and carry.

More in France, this is where you'll find all the rare French parts you're probably looking for - and maybe some parts not so rare if they are for 2CVs. But the way the stands are, their look - this melange of dark, brown, lumps of metal gizmos, mixed with ultra shiny pieces of chrome trim - makes a weird kaleidoscope of shapes, textures and colors. That the overhead lights are dim, adds to the 'wreckers' effect.

Here are the browsers, looking for their 'missing links.' 'Got any fan belts for Peugeot 203's?' These guys have shopping lists and they dart from stand to stand; and the guys in the booths have their parts' lists in their heads and no need to consult catalogues.

Hard by the old and used and recycled parts, are the brand-new replica parts. These stands are brighter - the overhead lights are brighter - and their goods are brighter too.

Here I meet Mike Rabin again. He was here last year and he's still selling - "Not hubcaps! Wheeldisks!" If you have 21-inch wheels on your Hispano-Suiza H-Series and need a replacement disk, Mike is the guy to see.

We are leaning on a counter covered with - headlight rims? - talking about the Hertz rental Shelby Mustangs, the 350's, and I finger one of these rims and it doesn't budge. I need eight fingers to tilt it up; Mike says it is cast bronze and suggests I try an even bigger one. They must have guzzled a bit of gas.

Citroen is having a 50th birthday for the 2CV. Since they are no longer made, the reason there can be a 50th anniversary is because 250 were made before the war; but they were destroyed in 1939. Three were saved, hidden in a barn, and forgotten. They were found again five years ago and their first public showing is here. If wonder if Citroen knows this is a typical car collector's 'dream' story.

The 2CV seems to be the favorite of French customizers. Last year I saw several convertible versions, but this year it looks like 'California Fever' has finally caught on in France. There are two 'chopped' models on Citroen's stand, a six-door limo, and holy firewheels! - a flamed pickup with 'Opera' windows, and with the intake part of a Roots-compressor nested in the hood.

I have a feeling that high up in some half-forgotten Swiss gulch, there is a little-known person who owns 22 hand-made Duesenburgs, and each year he sends a different one to Retromobile; each one more magnificent than the last. Beside it, a mere two-block-long Roller looks like a dog food can.

Well, that's enough sentimentality - on to Michelin's Mr. Bibendum, who is 100 years old this year and looks like he is getting younger. Michelin has decided to upgrade his image with no less that what seems like several dozen new promotions - as a hot-air balloon - as a co-driver in a Tour de France service car, and on and on.

I don't know how this company thinks today, but from looking at their old ads and posters scattered around their stand, they had some really batty ideas in the past - which they probably did not think were good at the time - and wish they could think up today.

A really old poster shows tires tied together to form a tube, which disappears under the waters of the Channel; and a whole autoroute of cars are merrily coming and going to France, or England - through the Channel Tunnel. Some bright spark thought up the idea for the poster in the 1920's.

There are really too many wonderful things at Retromobile to see them all well, and I have left out 98 percent of them. It is a good winter salon, good for browsing, and good for anybody who may be interested in things like mechanics, engineering or fine design.

Many of the items on display are not merely vulgar industrial artifacts, but modern pieces of art - but I'm sure all of you know this.

For this year's edition, I may have been a bit light on the French displays - but this is not because they are in any way second-class. I just felt like being a bit more impressionistic than usual.

At Paris-Expo, in Hall 2/1, Porte de Versailles
Entry: 65 francs; 40 francs for ages 6 to 12.
Until Sunday, 15. February - Times:
Monday, Wednesday and Thursday: 11:00 to 19:00
Saturday and Sunday: 10:00 to 19:00
Tuesday and Friday: 11:00 to 22:00.
Métro: Porte de Versailles