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The Musée Zadkine - Strange Beds; I am going to take a look at this. Pierre-Claude de Castro andbrochure: l'euro pour bientot - ratp Alain Sonneville want me to see theirs. These two nighttime museum guards have some sort of exhibition which features their after-work fold-up or down beds, mixed with administrative notes about their jobs, against a background of Ossip Zadkine's 'Odalisque' and 'Dormeuse,' all under the subhead of 'Inactions Interpassives.' In short, it's all Dada!

Musée Zadkine, 100. bis, Rue d'Assas, Paris 6. Métro: Vavin or RER, Port Royal. Except Mondays, open from 10:00 to 17:30. After 17:30, Pierre-Claude de Castro and Alain Sonneville need the museum to guard.

Strange Movies - I guess this is what you may see if you intend taking part in the first 'FFF 99 Paris' which is shorthand for the 'Fetisch Film Fest.' Oops, I see that this involves 'alternative' sex, bizarre behavior and other weird strangeness, and would probably be banned if it were on the Web instead of in three Paris cinemas. For people who enjoy fantasies only.

The fifty non-U movies can be seen at L'Espace Saint-Michel, 7. Place Saint-Michel, Paris 5. - Tel.: 01 44 07 20 49; Le Latina, 20. Rue du Temple, Paris 4. - Tel.: 01 42 78 47 86; and Action Christine, 4. Rue Christine, Paris 6. - Tel.: 01 43 29 11 30.

Lettre d'Une Inconnue - is a play by Stefan Zweig that alternates with his 'Souvenirs d'Un Européen-Fragments,' until Saturday, 13. March. The first is on stage Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays at 19:00; and the latter plays on Mondays and Fridays, also at 19:00. At Le Guichet - Montparnasse, 15. Avenue du Maine, Paris 14. Métro: Gaité. Info. Tel.: 01 43 27 88 61, or get tickets at fnac, Kiosques or Crous.

Who Are The French? - This exhibition - called 'Toute la France' - is about all the people who immigrated to France from 1880 to the present, and there are around 700 items on view - quite a lot of them 'arty.' The names in a 'Who's Who' in France would look like they've come from the world's edition of a telephone directory.

Musée d'Histoire Contemporaine, 129. Rue de Grenelle, Paris 7. Métro: Varenne or Solférino. From Tuesday to Friday, from 10:00 to 13:00 and 14:00 to 17:30; Thursdays to 19:00. On Saturday from 12:30 to 17:30 and on Sundays from 14:00 to 17:30.

The RATP's 'Winter Bus' Tours: - Some of these are to sites in Paris and some are further away; many tours cost about 200 francs, but there are some for less and some for more.

All of this can be found at a little RATP office, just to the right side of the Madeleine. At the same kiosk, there are also a series of attractive brochures for the RATP's regular Paris bus lines. If in need, but sure to check out the nearby public toilet; as it is a jewel and may be classed as a historical monument.

The 'Winter Bus' season continues until 30. March 1999. The kiosk is open Monday to Friday from 9:30 to 12:00 and from 13:00 to 17:00. Closed on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays. The 'Summer Bus' season has longer opening hours and is open on weekends.

La Poste Goes Into High Gear - Soon to be severed from the cash-cow of France Telecom, the French postal service is expanding its business activities. One traditionalbrochure: fort - cite numerique - issy area, philatelic services, have started their marketing machine by putting out new catalogues at a rapid rate.

Number one for 1999 has 60 pages and features this year's 'Cérès' issue that will be produced for 'Philexfrance,' to take place from 2 to 11. July. This international event will mark La Poste's 150th anniversary.

Issy buys Army fortress, to build 'Cité Numerique.'

'La Poste's' services for philatelists are accessible by the Web to interested collectors. Although it is not explicit that La Poste takes foreign orders, it does offer information about its subscription service in English, German, Spanish and Italian, in addition to French. La Poste also accepts payments made with Visa or Mastercard.

Long-Running Exhibitions, Shows and Events:

Painters At the Marine Museum - For a pleasant museum full of many wonders. For the 36th time, the Musée de la Marine is presenting its ever-growing collection of marine paintings. Many of these are done by 'official' navy painters, but the exhibition also shows works by independent artists.

Except for Tuesdays, open daily from 10:00 to 17:50. Musée de la Marine, Palais de Chaillot, 17. Place du Trocadéro, Paris 16. Métro: Trocadéro.

Royal Paintings: - actually in the Ile-de-France, at Fountainbleau, there is an exhibition of a collection of 48 paintings grouped together for the first time. Some of these are decor for royal surroundings, and Rubens was among the 'decorators,' which will give you an idea of the class of the act.

The Musée du Château de Fontainbleau, is in Fontainbleau with a lot of other sights to see, and is 65 km by road from Paris. Trains go there too, but my Michelin map does not say from where - except that I can see the tracks run along the Seine past Melun - I guess from the Gare de Lyon, since the RER line 'D' runs to Melun from there. The museum is closed on Tuesdays and open from 9:30 to 12:30, and from 14:00 to 17:00 all other days. Info. Tel.: 01 60 71 50 70. On account of the International peace talks taking place in Fontainbleau, be sure to phone first.

Tropiques Métis: - is a program of plays and Carnival workshops for the young, on Wednesdays in January and March. Toss in a bit - 400 years - of history, and you can find it all in one place until 12. April, at the Musée des Arts et Traditions Populaires. 6. avenue du Mahatma Gandhi, Paris 6.

This is inside the Jardin d'Acclimatation. Métro: Sablons, in Neuilly, plus a seven-minute walk. Open daily except Tuesday, from 9:30 to 17:15. Info. Tel.: 01 44 17 60 00.

Paris' Exceedingly 'Long' Mois de la Photo - 10th Edition: - This annual 'one-month' event kicked off late last October and is continuing well into the new year. Luckily we have the Web and the very long 'Mois de la Photo' has its own site, where there should be a complete program; possibly with dates running right up to the beginning of the 11th edition, in October.

Another Photo-Web sites worth a visit is Centre National de la Photo, which is located in the Hôtel Salomon de Rothschild, 11. rue Berryer, Paris 8. Info. Tel.: 01 53 76 12 32.

Kafka - His 'A la Colonie Penitentiaire,' translated by A. Vialatte and directed by Yves Kerboul, started on the boards at the Théâtre du Tour Tour on 5. January, but does not seem to have an 'until' date - except for the mention that there will be no performances on 26 or 27. February. The address is 20. Rue Quincampoix, Paris 4. Métro: Châtelet. Resa and Info. Tel.: 01 48 87 82 48.

La Maison du Peuple - is a novel written by Louis Guilloux and it is being performed as a theatre piece on the 100th anniversary of the author's birth by the Companie Marcel Maréchal at the Théâtre du Rond-Point Champs-Elysées, from Wednesday, 27. January, but not continuously, until Saturday, 20. February; at 18:30. One price: 50 francs. Info. Tel.: 01 44 95 98 10, for exact dates and reservations.

Cashemires Parisiens: - Exhibition at the Musée Galliera - Musée de la Mode et du Costume de la Ville de Paris. Final day is Sunday, 28. February.

Hôtel de Ville Skating Rink - Patinoire - Eisbahn:: Place de la Hôtel de Ville: the official Christmas decor is gone but the skaters keep twirling around; with two extra twirl-go-rounds at either end of ice-skating rink. No charge. Ice-skate rentals. Until 7. March 1999. Open from 9:00 to 22:00 daily.

Circus Alexis Gruss: - is Gruss senior and he goes in for 'classic' circus, elegant circus, circus with non-stop costumes and the main acts are done by dancing horses and lesser acts have lots of trained animals too. Until Sunday, 7. March; on the Pelouse de Madrid, in the Bois de Boulogne. Métro: Info. Tel.: 01 44 17 96 22.

Les Musées de France: - have a mail-order catalogue which you can order to have delivered to you. Write with your name and address to Les Musées de France, 60505 Chantilly Cedex, France. The catalogue can also be picked up at their shop, in the Forum des Halles, Porte Berger, level 2; from Monday to Saturday, from 10:30 to 19:15. Info. Tel.: 03 44 58 44 07 or Fax.: 33 3 44 62 80 25.

Long-Range Planning Department: - Make a careful note and keep it where you can find it. Doposter: richard galliano trio not thumb-tack it to your refrigerator door. There will be an eclipse of the sun by the moon, on Wednesday, 11. August, between 12:16 and 12:32. In Rouen and Reims and 4,998 other towns and villages, it will be total; in Paris only 90 percent.

Baring dense clouds, this will be very visible - or is it nearly invisible? - in the Paris region; something which has not occurred since 1724 when Louis XV was a young lad of 14. Can't make up your mind? The next eclipse is programmed for 2081. If eclipses are your bag, book your flight today for this year!

Some of the above items have been carried over for many issues of this magazine. If you require more information - such as addresses or phone numbers - check 'Past Issues' either from here, or from the top or bottom of any page in the magazine.

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