Directions To Your Club

photo: rain on quay outside cafe

One reason for joining the club is to get in out of the rain.

News About the 'Café Metropole Club'

Paris:- Saturday, 1. January 2000:- Last week I moved the dateline back to Friday because I didn't want you to think I was writing this on Christmas Day. You can do anything you want on New Year's Day - if you can do anything - so I am taking advantage of this.

Although this column is pure PR puffery for our little club in Paris it seems to be almost as popular as the club itself or its reports, because nobody has written to tell me to 'cut it out.'

Last Thursday some 'virtual' members came to the club at the appointed time and transformed themselves into 'real' members. There is nothing second-class about being a 'virtual' member, but if you do happen to be in Paris on a Thursday at 15:00, becoming a 'real' member of the Café Metropole Club is surprisingly easy.

First off the club's meetings are held in Paris. In this sense, it is the number-one Paris - not any of the other ones. Should you be in doubt, if the Paris you are in has no Tour Eiffel, then it is not the correct Paris.

In this sense, Las Vegas does not count, because it's Eiffel Tower is merely a replica; one that is much smaller thanphoto: new camera, kritz the original. There are members of the Café Metropole Club in Las Vegas and they will confirm that the real Tour Eiffel is not there if you ask them.

Let's say you are actually in the real Paris. Then what you do is take the métro line one to the Louvre-Rivoli station and get off the métro train and get out of the station.

Last Thursday, Mark Kritz was trying to get the film out of his camera.

This is not difficult because there is only one exit and this is why I picked it. If you confuse it with the Palais-Royal-Musée-du-Louvre station, you will immediately realize you've made a serious mistake, because this other station is very complicated and has dozens of exits as well as a mall.

A word of caution about leaving the Louvre-Rivoli station - if you've got the right one - when you turn in the hall by the ticket window to go up the stairs, you may be faced with a big blast of wind blowing into the station. If this is the case, hold on to your hat tightly.

Also be prepared to sidestep people entering the station. For some reason, people tend to come down the stairs any which-old-way. They don't keep to the right or left - not many Parisians do - but this particular station is afflicted with totally random entrees. Hold your hat and keep your eyes open.

At the top of the stairs, if you've managed to keep to the right without being pushed back into the station, turn sharply to your right. Being on the other side and turning sharply to your left is not recommended.

After you've turned right, elbow your way past the people who may be milling around the narrow area in front of the newspaper kiosk. I don't know why people are always 'milling around' here, but it is probably on account of this neither-right-nor-left business so favored by Parisians.

Once past the kiosk, the way is relatively clear. Without taking your eyes off where you are going, give the church on your left a glance. Don't waste time looking at the Louvre over on the right, because it is its most boring part.

After you've passed the church, be careful crossing the little street and go past the cake shop. Continue on to the corner where all the insane traffic is roaring eastwards along the Quai du Louvre.

Now go back seven steps. Turn left, and you are in front of the café La Corona's doorway. Let go of your hat, open the door and go in.

Do not turn to the right or left. Go straight past the edge of the bar, on your right, and after passing it turn slightly to the right, and you are in La Corona's 'grande salle.'

Go to its far end. If it is Thursday and 15:00, you have well and truly arrived at the Café Metropole Club.

What Happened During the Club's Last Meeting?

If you want to know how Toronto got to be 'City of the Week' last Thursday, you should read the unauthorized and unofficial account of last Thursday's weekly Club meeting - in case you haven't already read it. Hit the hyperlink to see what happened.

If you don't care about Toronto, you can read one of the other features in last week's edition of Metropole instead. Nobody will care except everybdy in Toronto.

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