"It Was Like Coming On a Stagecoach!"

photo: partial club group with mr ferrat

Almost all of today's members, including Mr. Ferrat,
the club's 'Waiter of the Week.'

The Club's First 'Kids of the Week'

Paris:- Thursday, 19. April 2001:- Last night's forecast for today was not positive. Temperatures would be 'average,' the TV-weather lady said, 'for February.' I immediately battened all the hatches in my airy apartment and wore a scarf to bed.

Then I prudently skipped today's first 12 hours.

But by the time I hit the street, it doesn't seem to be too grim at all. It's not raining, the sun is shining a bit in widely scattered patches, and the little wind there is doesn't penetrate my shirts, thick socks, sweater, scarf, hat and gloves while riding the métro down to Châtelet.

On the Rue de Rivoli it is really bright - this is a 'February' day? Am I over-dressed? The 'art squat' at number 59 looks positively twinkly, a bit like a Christmas tree in tatters.

The new city administration is even thinking of 'saving' it. If it becomes official, the artists will simply move out and find another illegal place to squat - 'art' oblige.

At La Corona, which has no sunbathers on its sunny southern terrace, Patrick the waiter excitedly tells me there are 'members' already waiting. "Il y a du monde," he says.

These turn out to be David Nutt, all by himself. It is not even 15:00 yet - there's still plenty of time forphoto: walter, david, corine plurals to arrive. After I hector David for a while, he admits to coming from Nottingham - where sheriff 'what's-his-name' was mean to, um, Robin Hood?

Walter laughs at a cheese story of David's while Corine writes her membership particulars.

I'm in a reckless mood - from overdressing? - so I declare Nottingham to be the 'City of the Week' even though David hasn't lived there for a couple of decades. He isn't totally familiar with the rituals of the club, but he goes along with this bit of ancient lore like a good sport.

He tells me he peddles French cheese online through a Dot.com he calls Fromage.com and he says people - especially in Japan and the United States - buy it like 'petits pains.'

"But not real Camembert through," he says, adding, "It's too fresh for the American health department." They have to be content with some pasteurized version - but even this customers get within 24 hours unless it gets cooked into gloop in a Texas warehouse.

While he's telling me about the 'Cheese of the Week' being 'Pavée du Chirac' - on account of General De Gaulle's 366 French cheeses now being surpassed, making France more ungovernable thanphoto: michelle, mark ever, Michelle Royston arrives - followed by Mark Kritz.

Although both are from around San Francisco, they are not together. Michelle even says she's from Palo Alto now, running a canteen for the filthy rich computer folks there.

Michelle and Mark study a Paris map for 'lost' sights.

About the ongoing subject, Mark says, "Northern California is 'hip deep' in good cheese. The rest of America is up to its neck in Velveeta."

I think this is the third time I've heard name 'Velveeta' this week after not hearing it for 30 years. It just goes to show that nothing, not even gloop, is really forgettable.

Corine and Walter Donius charge up to the club's tables, propelled by a momentum caused by 24 hours in the air, caused by a direct flight from Saint Louis, via Chicago, via London, to Paris.

Their flight actually started out with TWA, but by the time their plane reached Chicago, it had become an American Airlines machine. It's a good thing it didn't suffer a bankruptcy in midair.

Except for, "Virgin's wonderful, beautiful, new planes!" Corine tells me, "It was like coming on a stagecoach!" - which is more than good enough for a 'Quote of the Week.'

Corine wants me to plug Maryville University in West County, St. Louis, because it's her birthday tomorrow. Because I say readers can guess her age instead of me telling them, she gives me a Polish 'buzis' which I misunderstand as a French 'bisou' - but this is what it turns out to be. Corine is amazed it sounds exactly like the same thing.

"Where's Charles?" announces Marilyn Burke's entry, along with her daughter Maureen who has brought her two daughters from New Jersey - Erin who is three and Kelly who is five.

Even though the kids immediately collapse from the kiddie fatigue of being with so many club members at once, theyphoto: two kid members become the club's 'Kids of the Week' simply because they are the first really little kids to ever join the club. I hope their mother tells them their lifetime memberships are free.

The combined age of these two new members is eight, and it shows.

Michelle wants to know where Charles Eitel is too. We all look around the café, and sure enough, none of us see him anywhere. A club meeting without Charles 'Lower Taxes!' Eitel is a bit like Champagne with half the bubbles missing. Also it accounts for the lack of big wine pots on the tables too.

I have forgotten to mention David's departure to look for some more cheese. This will explain why he is not in the now traditional 'Group Photo of the Week' which gets itself taken out on the terrace again, along with the help of Monsieur Ferrat, last week's and this week's 'Waiter of the Week.' Note his tie - the club's waiters are classy 'garçons.'

The meeting breaks up on account of all present members having better things to do elsewhere - like Corine and Walter having some anti-jetlag omelettes in another part of the café.

As I stop at their table to say 'Au Revoir' Paul Rupert suddenly appears, saying, "Everything happens on Thursday! I had to quit the traffic jam to double-park by the Louvre so my passengers could use the waterworks here. I just wanted to say 'hello!'"

This club member's behavior seems so strange to Corine and Walter that their omelettes get cold, by thephoto: club printout & tonic time Paul remembers that he's got to go out and defend his wheels from the ever-efficient parking-ticket ladies.

If club members bring 'reports' to the club, the secretary will autograph them by hand if they are gin-free.

"I'll be back," Paul shouts over his shoulder as he dodges a waiter's tray and slams out the Amiral Coligny exit, after fighting to get the three-ton door open. Unlike most café doors, it only opens inward. It fools everybody.

Whew! I thought the meeting was going to go into overtime for a minute there. I go downstairs and discuss the February-like weather with the lady who is boss-of-the-waterworks and who guards them like a hawk.

ULTRA-FLASH-UPDATE NEWS:- Prospective new member Annabelle Rider Babbitt is exactly one week old today. Readers, Café Metropole Club members and parents, Janet and Paul Babbitt are crazy with joy, and only regret that Annabelle Rider was unable to attend last Thursday's meeting with all the other ladies from New Jersey.

Congratulations from all readers and members of the Café Metropole Club in Paris to you, Janet and Paul! Perfect timing!

The 'About the Café Metropole Club' Page

'Unofficial' former club 'rules' concerning your Café Metropole Paris Club - as opposed a 'Velveeta' 'report' like this one - can be found on the 'About the Café Metropole Club page,' which is about your club, and has a link on each issue's 'home' page, in case you overlook the one here.

Date, Time and Location of Next Meeting

The next Café Metropole Club meeting will be held on Thursday, 26. April, which is a week from today, like most other Thursdays have been up until now.

If you are in Paris or not it will be Sainte-Alida's' Day. The following Friday will be just anotherphoto: club pantacourtes ordinary Sainte-Zita's day which was on Thursday last year - just like clockwork.

The café La Corona meeting place will be open as it is all the time well as every Thursday. Your club's meeting time will be from 15:00 to 17:00 in Europe's Central European Time Zone - 'CET' for short and not 'ECST' - and elsewhere known as 3 pm to 5 pm otherwise.

A club member's fashionable 'Pantacourte of the Week' is cheered by all.

The club's secretary, which is normally myself usually in person, will be painstakingly writing some 'report' notes during the coming meeting, but there's no need to pay any attention to this because it is pretty routine for 'Ed' to stay awake while doing it.

Fabricate a new 'Quote of the Week' or invent your own new 'City of the Week' - or even propose any other 'Things of the Week,' if you want to share it, them, with other members - and readers.

The café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny - or - 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Pont-Neuf or Châtelet.

A bientôt à Paris,
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini