The 'Nobody Is Perfect' Report

photo: l-->,danielle, chris, mary, bob, edna, linda, marilyn

From left, Danielle, Chris, Mary, Bob, Edna, Linda and Marilyn - possibly not in order.

Dubious Weather Update

Paris:- Thursday, 17. May 2001:- Last night, TV-weather news showed two muddy-weather fronts merging into one another to produce muck over Paris for this afternoon. It hasn't happened, but it is cooler and there's a bit of wind.

Tonight's TV-weather forecast - um - how likely is it? It has said, starting tomorrow, we can expect a three-day nice weather weekend - so long as we don't mind temperatures slightly less than 'room' level. But, ha-ha, no more than 'normal' for this time of year. 'Normal' has a wide range I think, but not on any high side.

What is decidedly 'not normal,' are my radiators still radiating heat. Paris apartment owners' associations are not known for squandering it. My guess is they know better than to believe weather forecasts. Therefore, dress accordingly if you are not going to be in my apartment.

My number one métro entry is only for people who already have tickets. The ticket-selling entryphoto: pots of wine is 60 metres further on. Thus my entry is a good place for the RATP to have its ticket inspectors lurking, to catch all the barrier-jumping free-riders.

A new one of the club's 783 'pots of wine' photos. Watch for a coming limonade photo.

I only mention this, because it is possible to spend a week riding around Paris' métro without running into the inspectors, and you might think there aren't any. There are, and they know all the tricky places to lurk. I escaped their clutches by having a grade-A ticket in good standing. I have foiled their intentions with this trick before.

Now, on to today's meeting. This started in La Corona's bar with the more and more usual announcement of, "Il y a du monde." Oh yeah? How many is this 'monde' exactly?

"Un," is the somewhat sheepish answer. 'Sheepish,' because nobody ever asks for an exact number of 'du monde.' 'One' is hardly a good answer, but this is not serious. This is France after all. Vague 'du monde' numbers are okay.

So I am ready to meet one new member, who is Danielle Voirin from Chicago in Illinois, who I do not realize is starving. Danielle is also having trouble getting from 'point A to point B,' according to what she writes in the members' booklet.

I wish she had told me this instead of how difficult it is to get from Galeries Lafayette to the club, because there are no points 'A' or 'B' in Paris. On the other hand, there is no time to explain the details of the other 7,894 points there are, because new members Mary and Chris Riegel arrive from Lake Forest, California.

"Lake Forest should never be 'City of the Week' because it's like 'Wonderbread,'" Mary says. In fact, I have already decided it won't be, but she adds, "Nophoto: server lady, linda thalman bars, no cafés, no parking, no kids. There are burglars though."

Marilyn Burke arrives and Mary compliments her on her New Jersey accent, which Mary knows well from New Brunswick, NJ, which has no relationship to Canada whatsoever besides the name.

In addition to having a New Jersey accent, Marilyn is waving her arms around a lot, because, she says, "I've been dreaming about having something to drink for 45 minutes!"

For the server-lady's fans, here's Linda.

When everybody admires her arm-waving she says, "Hey! Forget about it!" Apparently the French have learned arm-waving as an essential complement to speech, from all the visitors from New Jersey.

Mary has also noticed that there is not much air conditioning in Europe. After Edna and Bob Bradley arrive from Costa Mesa in California, which is in Orange Country like Lake Forest, a poll of the members reveals that the only person with air conditioning is Marilyn, and her's is in New Jersey, where there is still some electricity.

Edna and Bob's reason for not staying for months in Paris on this visit is explained by Edna. "We have a difficult cat." On account of no air conditioning in La Corona, Danielle has a second glass of limonade.

This reminds me that limonade should have been the 'Drink of the Week' last week because that is what Ulrich Diederich had, and I forgot to award it it's proper 'first.' Now that Danielle is having a second one, I can say without fear of contradiction that she is the first to have 'Limonade of the Week, Twice.'

I should point out here, for readers unfamiliar with Europe, that 'limonade' is white fizzy soda, and not lemonade made with lemons. If you want this in France, order a 'citron pressé.'

Another unanswered question from last week that I failed to mention because I didn't know the answer then, concerned the preparations going on at Bastille. These were for the 20th anniversary of the election of François Mitterrand as Président of France.

As reported later, it was a droopy all-evening musical evening for a mere 15,000 fans of the late president. The original event, 20 years ago and in the rain, drew many more.

With these 'catch-ups' out of the way, the server-lady in the form of Linda Thalman, arrives. This starts, withphoto: croque madame Marilyn helping, the big yak, which I interrupt to get everybody out on the terrace for the 'Group Photo of the Week' - to which nearly everybody contributes.

A croque-madame is a good otto for holding starvation at bay.

While a great deal of the 'big yak' continues, both the Riegles and the Bradleys give me a thorough geographic lesson about Orange Country. I was under the impression it was a largely blank area of southern California, somewhere between the 'Hollywood' sign and San Diego or Long Beach.

The main point I retain is that living there requires no air conditioning because the Pacific Ocean sends damp, cool air inland, up some gullies where places like Lake Forest and Costa Mesa are located.

The server-lady has to leave because she parked up at George V for some reason. She is halfway out the door before she remembers her bill and quickly snaps back. This alerts us all to the time being after five, and the great 'pay the bill' debate begins - with Mary explaining the whole 'Little Prince' story that illustrates the 50-franc note.

While this is going on Danielle has managed to order and prepare to eat the 'Croque-Madame of the Week,' because she has gotten tired of starving since she has a 'very good breakfast' on an Air France flight on Tuesday.

We are watching the progress of this effort when Diane Frances arrives 46 minutes after the end of today'sphoto: diane frances meeting. Yes. Yes, she gets the 'Late Member of the Week' award, and this is partly because she proposes it herself.

Diane Frances skipped the meeting and the group photo by cleverly sleeping off jet-lag a bit longer than intended.

Anything can happen in overtime, so I accept her hometown of Euclid, Ohio as 'City of the Week' too - luckily escaping the necessity of naming Orange County for this distinction - and especially getting out of naming the 'Wonderbread' place.

Whatever time it has become, some of us are finally out on the Quai du Louvre's sidewalk. The Bradley's take the Pont des Arts direction and after Diane and I walk over to the Pont Neuf, across it and along the Quai de Conti to the Rue de Seine, it occurs to me that we should have gone with the Bradleys.

If Danielle reads this, I hope she realizes we went from 'A' to 'B' by way of 'R.' Nobody is perfect.

The 'About the Café Metropole Club' Page

'Unofficial' but 'suspended-rules' concerning your Café Metropole Paris Club - as opposed a 'croque-madame' report like this one - can be found on the 'About the Café Metropole Club page,' which is about your club, and has a link on each issue's 'home' page, in case you overlook this one right here.

Date, Time and Location of Next Meeting

The next Café Metropole Club meeting will be held on Thursday, 24. May, which is a week from today. This is also the holiday known in France as Ascension, but it will not interfere with the club's regular meeting.

If you are in Paris or not it will be Ascension Day, as I have already mentioned. Luckily, the day after will be just another ordinary Sainte-Sophie's day - but plank two of a four-day 'bridge.' Long-weekends were introduced to France in 1936.

The café La Corona meeting place will be open as it is all the time as well as every Thursday, including holidays. Your club's meetingphoto: l'addition time will be from 15:00 to 17:00 in Europe's Central European Time Zone - 'CET' for short and not 'BITO' - and elsewhere known as 3 pm to 5 pm otherwise.

The part of the 'club' that is not free is 'l'addition.' Note the 'Little Prince' on the 50-franc notes.

The club's secretary, otherwise known as 'Ed,' will be making some 'report' notes during the coming meeting, but there's no need to pay any attention to this because 'Ed' writes more notes than will be used, if he remembers to write notes at all.

Prepare your new 'Quote of the Week' or propose your own new 'City of the Week' - or even invent any other 'Things of the Week,' if you want to share them, it, with other members - and readers of this online magazine with the free Paris club for readers who want to be members.

The café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny - or - 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Pont-Neuf or Châtelet.

A bientôt à Paris,
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini