The 'Nobody Is Perfect' Report

photo: l-->,danielle, chris, mary, bob, edna, linda, marilyn

From left, Danielle, Chris, Mary, Bob, Edna, Linda and Marilyn - possibly not in order.

Dubious Weather Update

Paris:- Thursday, 17. May 2001:- Last night, TV-weather news showed two muddy-weather fronts merging into one another to produce muck over Paris for this afternoon. It hasn't happened, but it is cooler and there's a bit of wind.

Tonight's TV-weather forecast - um - how likely is it? It has said, starting tomorrow, we can expect a three-day nice weather weekend - so long as we don't mind temperatures slightly less than 'room' level. But, ha-ha, no more than 'normal' for this time of year. 'Normal' has a wide range I think, but not on any high side.

What is decidedly 'not normal,' are my radiators still radiating heat. Paris apartment owners' associations are not known for squandering it. My guess is they know better than to believe weather forecasts. Therefore, dress accordingly if you are not going to be in my apartment.

My number one métro entry is only for people who already have tickets. The ticket-selling entryphoto: pots of wine is 60 metres further on. Thus my entry is a good place for the RATP to have its ticket inspectors lurking, to catch all the barrier-jumping free-riders.

A new one of the club's 783 'pots of wine' photos. Watch for a coming limonade photo.

I only mention this, because it is possible to spend a week riding around Paris' métro without running into the inspectors, and you might think there aren't any. There are, and they know all the tricky places to lurk. I escaped their clutches by having a grade-A ticket in good standing. I have foiled their intentions with this trick before.

Now, on to today's meeting. This started in La Corona's bar with the more and more usual announcement of, "Il y a du monde." Oh yeah? How many is this 'monde' exactly?

"Un," is the somewhat sheepish answer. 'Sheepish,' because nobody ever asks for an exact number of 'du monde.' 'One' is hardly a good answer, but this is not serious. This is France after all. Vague 'du monde' numbers are okay.

So I am ready to meet one new member, who is Danielle Voirin from Chicago in Illinois, who I do not realize is starving. Danielle is also having trouble getting from 'point A to point B,' according to what she writes in the members' booklet.

I wish she had told me this instead of how difficult it is to get from Galeries Lafayette to the club, because there are no points 'A' or 'B' in Paris. On the other hand, there is no time to explain the details of the other 7,894 points there are, because new members Mary and Chris Riegel arrive from Lake Forest, California.

"Lake Forest should never be 'City of the Week' because it's like 'Wonderbread,'" Mary says. In fact, I have already decided it won't be, but she adds, "Nophoto: server lady, linda thalman bars, no cafés, no parking, no kids. There are burglars though."

Marilyn Burke arrives and Mary compliments her on her New Jersey accent, which Mary knows well from New Brunswick, NJ, which has no relationship to Canada whatsoever besides the name.

In addition to having a New Jersey accent, Marilyn is waving her arms around a lot, because, she says, "I've been dreaming about having something to drink for 45 minutes!"

For the server-lady's fans, here's Linda.

When everybody admires her arm-waving she says, "Hey! Forget about it!" Apparently the French have learned arm-waving as an essential complement to speech, from all the visitors from New Jersey.

Mary has also noticed that there is not much air conditioning in Europe. After Edna and Bob Bradley arrive from Costa Mesa in California, which is in Orange Country like Lake Forest, a poll of the members reveals that the only person with air conditioning is Marilyn, and her's is in New Jersey, where there is still some electricity.

Edna and Bob's reason for not staying for months in Paris on this visit is explained by Edna. "We have a difficult cat." On account of no air conditioning in La Corona, Danielle has a second glass of limonade.

This reminds me that limonade should have been the 'Drink of the Week' last week because that is what Ulrich Diederich had, and I forgot to award it it's proper 'first.' Now that Danielle is having a second one, I can say without fear of contradiction that she is the first to have 'Limonade of the Week, Twice.'

I should point out here, for readers unfamiliar with Europe, that 'limonade' is white fizzy soda, and not lemonade made with lemons. If you want this in France, order a 'citron pressé.'

Another unanswered question from last week that I failed to mention because I didn't know the answer then, concerned the preparations going on at Bastille. Thes were for the 20th anniversary of the election of François Mitterrand as Président of France.


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