The 'Church of the Week'

photo: le cafe lodi, new awning

Since checking out Le Café Lodi a few weeks ago,
it has acquired a new awning.

If Only the Churchlady Knew!

Paris:- Thursday, 8. November 2001:- Club members who don't bother reading the regular weekly edition of 'Metropole Paris' won't know that this magazine begins with a weather 'forecast,' which hints at the likelihood of coming weather in Paris.

Last Monday's version said this week was going to be like a 'sandwich,' with some baloney sandwiched between two slices of white wonderbread.

The source for these forecasts is TV-weather news, and I expressed doubts about the amount of 'baloney' - and the possibility that the second slice of bread might be absent.

Now for the update. The first slice of bread was thinner than predicted, the 'baloney' was thicker, and the second slice of bread showing up is really doubtful, but if it does it might be on Saturday.

The 'baloney' started a day early, yesterday. For Thursday - today in fact - last night's morephoto: member, ann snow up-to-date TV-crystal ball said this morning's low would be 11 degrees, and this afternoon's high would be six degrees. This morning's huge fall of rain came earlier than expected, but the day's low-high has been right on time.

Ann Snow is first to find and join the club at the club's first meeting in its temporary meeting location.

What can we learn from this? For one thing, winter must be here if 'highs' can be lower than 'lows.' Second, wet weather wear is no longer sufficient. You should add 'warm' to whatever you intend to wear. The jolly 'Indian Summer' Paris had this year is history.

This has caught most of the leaves on the trees largely unprepared. Some took advantage of their locations to turn color, but the rest have stupidly stayed green. Their fate will be to turn grey and fall off in soggy clumps, like bits of tattered sponges.

This has also caught today's first new club member by surprise. Ann Snow came to Paris hoping the leaves would be gone already, so she could photograph the Saint-Julien-le-Pauvre church.

Ann came all the way from Lawrence, Kansas to do this. For this disappointment alone, Lawrence becomes the 'City of the Week.' Never mind that other new members and all 302 existing members cannot find today's club meeting in Le Café Lodi, even though it is only 44 metres from the club regular café meeting place.

But I guess it is just as well that there are only two of us in the new meeting place. We can test the chairs for comfort, test the tables for stability, and appreciate the background music without having to listen to a lot of club members shouting about the 'Waiter of the Week' for not anticipating their burning thirsts.

Also we can test the light in the new club area for its suitability for the 'Group Photo of the Week' and other important clublife snapshots. This light is horrid, by the way, and only returns a fifty percent semi-success rate.

On arrival Ann says, "I'm late because of jetlag." Actually, it isn't jetlag at all, but the wind along the Seine almost turning her umbrella insideout and carrying her off into the river like 'Mary Poppins.'

The next thing to do, is fix up the secretary's notion of geography in Kansas. For example, Kansas University in Lawrence is not to be confused with Kansas State in Manhattan, Kansas, which is also known as 'Aggieville.'

The 'Animal of the Week' - do you remember that last week's was the crocodiles in Oz that eat outboard motors? - is 'beefalo.'

Ann says these are nearly as dangerous as domestic buffalo, even though they are 'domestic' too. Youphoto: ed's first lodi cafe don't have to worry though because the half of Kansas west of Lawrence is very unpopulated and some of it hasn't even been explored yet because it is so boringly flat.

The secretary's first official double-jolt café in the revovated café Lodi.

Finally I find out that Ann isn't jetlagged at all. She just says this because she doesn't want anybody to know she stayed in her hotel bed this morning because it was raining to beat the dickens - which is the same reason the club's secretary did the same thing in another arrondissement.

Another reason is that her hotel in the Quartier Latin is named after a famous fountain pen, called Mont Blanc. In itself, this is not a valid reason for visitors to loll around. The real reason is this hotel's dining room- in-a-cave has a breakfast parrot for entertainment.

"It quacks like a duck and bites like a dog," she says. This is a shame, because we have already chalked up an 'Animal of the Week' - although the club could stretch things a bit by having a 'Quacking Bird of the Week.'

On her second visit to Paris, Ann intends to stay focused on the Saint-Julien-le-Pauvre church. On account of the leaves on the trees she hasn't even had a good look at it yet, and already she knows much more about it than Michelin's 'Green Guide,' which is four times more informative than me.

She intends to go to Paris super-huge Bibliothèque Nationale parked in the 13th above the Batofar and the other dance barges, and look for the 'one book in the world' that explains the church's 'triforium' - which was sort of a unique gallery, which just happened to disappear a long long time ago.

To get there, she intends to use Printemps' model 1999 free map. Looking at it, I now see why Crocodile Nigel dragged me over there to get a new one. Ann's map is too gaudy to read, and th 'you are here' spot is right on top of her church.

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