...Continued from page 1

The 'Waiter of the Week' is found in the café's bar area, polishing clean glasses. He is under the impression that all club members have to wait until the club's secretary's double–espresso is served at 16:00. He gladly tears himself away from his vital task and takes care of club business.

Between sips of the 'Beer of the Week,' Barry is telling us about how big a best–seller the 'Da Vinci Code' by Dan Brown is, until I point out that its sales are infinitesimal compared to the 'Idiot's Guide for PCs.' Then Barry plugs Paris' American Library, which is a good cause.

It is supposed to be the biggest library for books in English in Paris. It was founded during WWI in an effort to keep US troops away from Paris' French–style night and day life, and is now located near the Champ de Mars, as quiet as ever.

At this point, give–or–take five minutes either way, member Laurel Robinson arrives. This allowsphoto: ed's cafe of the week the club to have its first 'Laurel–Laurel– Louie–Lewis' meeting. The members present are pretty proud to be taking part in such a historical occasion, for about seven seconds.

This week's 'Ed's Café of the Week,' with official club Bic pen.

Diana and Lewis tell us about how to get student visas, which they obtained so they could enroll for a full course at the Alliance Française and something or other at the Sorbonne. The other members all think up schemes to avoid getting student visas, even though Lewis says they aren't hard to get.

What with late drinks, and other interesting but irrelevant club affairs, it is already 16:45 when it occurs to the club's secretary to call for the 'Group Photo of the Week.' Several unpublishable versions of it are shot, which are not used today for reasons of harmonious international relations.

The 'Group Photo of the Week' is followed by club members taking their own 'Group Photo of the Week with the Secretary.'

Then someone tells the story about the Koala who goes into a bar, orders dinner, eats it, and then takes out his gun and shoots it. The bartender asks the Koala 'why?' and the Koala says, "Eat, shoot, leave. I'm just doin' what the book says."

If this makes sense, fine, because I can't explain it on account of I left the room. On my return I borrow the substitute secretary's notes made by Eva, which seem to be mostly about Communards, and how Lenin studied what they did wrong and went and did it wrong to Russia. In the end, thephoto: cameras of the week Communards were known for making a fashion statement with red bandanas.

This week's 'Members' Cameras of the Week.'

Eva is not here to ask her what it means. To be on the safe side, I suggest everyone in Paris go out first thing tomorrow and get a red bandana for 50 percent off in the winter sales, while they last.

Find the American Library in Paris, at 10. Rue du Général–Camou, Paris 7. Métro: Ecole– Militaire. InfoTel.: 01 53 59 12 60.

The 'Soldes d'Hiver' Have Begun

This year's Soldes d'Hiver in Paris began yesterday. As of today, there are still some bargains available for eagle–eyed shoppers who realize what '–50' means. The final day of this annual shopping festival will be Saturday, 7. February.

The 'About the Café Metropole Club' About Page

Today's 'report' about this club meeting may seem to be more garbled than others, but you might not have read some of thephoto: corona terrace other so–called sensible 'reports.' The 'About the Café Metropole Club' page may clear up some murk in this area if you are curious to know what this is supposed to be about, but the 'About' page was written by the club's secretary too.

This week's 'Café Corona Terrace of the Week.'

One vital fact remains – whatever you may think, there are not many others. This is worth remembering. You can become a lifetime member of this online magazine's free, live, and real club by simply becoming a member during any of its meetings in Paris, for free. This is a lot of value for 'free' because it doesn't require much effort.

What, When, Why Not, Where, How, Who?

The club meetings start about 15:00 sharp, always on a weekly Thursday, and keep going until about 17:00, in the European Time of Paris Winter – which is really 'CET' for short and not 'les vrais temps d'hiver' although perfectly true – and elsewhere known as 3 pm to 5 pm. Where these meetings happen is in Paris.

Doing anything at a meeting – like arriving – is encouraged. True 'firsts' are welcome, with 'first' having a slight edge in 'report' value over 'true.' Don't get the wrong idea – 'true' is fine too. This may be a French-type 'exception,' because France is proud to have the world's greatest number of unenforced and ignored laws.

If you prefer to be 'not found' on thegraphic: club location map Internet, be sure let the club's secretary know – before you forget. If necessary you can even be at a meeting and not be at it, 'report–wise.' Former 'rules' have ceased and have been removed from the club's books. All 'exceptions' to any other 'rules' have been temporarily suspended forever.

Talking in foreign languages like Irish at meetings is fine. If there's a free chair sit wherever you like, or haul one over from another part of the café. Whatever you say may be truly appreciated by the other members present, if they are listening, which they actually do sometimes – and by all readers of this online magazine, if it happens to be written here, as some of it is sometimes.*

*The above paragraphs are unchanged since a long time ago because of a Koala's fears of getting bushwhacked.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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