The Kazoo Race

Too Big To Understand

Paris:– Monday, 3. May 2004:– The weather has been pretty good to us lately. Both Le Parisien and the TV–weather news have been having some pretty exciting prediction maps, but the weather itself has been behaving itself by not being extreme. Well, actually, temperatures above 'normal' are a bit extreme, but we can take them.

Today I've looked at the maps in the paper. Today's map says 'shipwreck' but outside my window it was just a bit overcast. Tomorrow's map is labeled 'depressing.' Tonight's TV–weather news said tomorrow will be windy and rainy and not sunny at all.

There is supposed to be a wind from the southwest that will clip by here at 60 kph. I drew five wind–arrows on Le Parisien's map for Tuesday because it doesn't have any. Three from the southwest and two from the northwest.

The overnight low may be 10 degrees and tomorrow's high might be 16. Last week Paris scored on several days with the highest temperature in France. According to the long–range three–day prediction, this is not supposed to happen this week.

After tomorrow's exciting but depressing weather, things should settle down to being plain cloudy, with maybe a little rain. The high temperature, forecast to be 13, will not set any records, except for boring. Thursday's outlook is for a day a tiny bit better than Wednesday, but not by much. No temperature change is forecast.

Café Life

Times were pretty quiet around Daguerre so I was glad to run into Uncle Den–Den in a local café – until he asked me to guess what he just received in the mail. He told me he got a property tax bill so I didn't guess that. I wondered if I could afford to buy him a café because those bills can be steep.

He got impatient with me not guessing anything serious. "I got three kazoos from Prague," he almost shouted in triumph, pulling two plastic ones and a yellow tin one out of his pocket.

Metropole reader and Café Metropole Club member Alena Bohmova had found them and sent them to Uncle Den–Den. I was a bit hurt. How is anybody supposed to guess that people in a café might have three kazoos in their pocket?

The good news is that between us we now have five kazoos, enough for a quintet. We just have to wait until Dimitri returns, so we can give a fully– manned concert. Actually, we also have to wait until somebody finds us a copy of the 'Top Ten Kazoo Hits of 1947,' containing lyrics and musical scores.

Once we have all of this, then all we need to do is learn how to play them with straight faces. Oh yes, we need a rehearsal hall too. I don't think they'll let us play in cafés around here until we're solid. Maybe not even then. How many days is it until the Fête de la Musique?

Even readers with long memories may not recall almost exactly four years ago when I spent part of a weekend wandering around looking for an old–style Morris column – where are they when you want one? – and the Vespasienne outside the wall of the Santé prison.

Reader Kim Murray had asked for photos of both, to use for a historical fête being celebrated in the town of Augusta in Western Australia.

For it was there that the shipwreck or marooning or drowning or imprisonment happened in 1801, of Timothee Vasse, who was part of the French exploration expedition that found Geographe Bay for the first time. Anyway, I sent off the photos and heard no more about it.

Now this year, not so long ago, Nigel White wrote to say he was about to traverse Australia to visit the west. Remembering the column and the pissoir, I suggested he swing 200 kilometres out of his way, to the wine– growing and shark–infested area around Margaret River – to see if there were any sign of Paris replicas.

He has recently returned from his explorations, and you can see the photo here to prove it. This modified Morris column stands outside the post office in Augusta. Nigel guessed that the pissoir was skipped, because right around the corner there stands a perfectly good, and sizeable, Australian one with a corrugated iron roof.

Instead of mentioning the shark–infested ocean, he noted that the dolphins in it are pretty tame and you can swim with them. But you are not allowed to fondle them because it upsets the volunteers from the local non–profit dolphin centre.

Nigel continues, "Overall I liked the South West a lot – it's a different part of Oz, laid back, more temperate Mediterranean–type climate – not tropical, not desert – with spectacular beaches and magnificent trees up to 90 metres tall in remnants of forests which were all cut down for ships masts in the 19th century and shipped back to Europe. Another good argument for supporting Greenpeace."

For those interested in a warm quiet place with dolphins and classic Oz pubs a long way from almost everywhere, check out Margaret River Online. Nigel also sent a photo of one of the original big trees, but it's too big to fit on this page.

Last year we had three long–weekends in May, but this year there are only two, and perhaps only one. We've just had May Day on a Saturday, and the coming public holiday for VE Day is on a Saturday too. Next Saturday in fact.

The big one will be Ascension, which begins on Thursday, 20. May. If folks take the 'pont' they'll be gone Friday, to have a four–day weekend. The Monday holiday for Pentecôte on 31. May is in doubt – there's a movement to suppress it and have everybody work for the government on this day.

The popular 'Paris Journal' columns by Laurel will continue to be interrupted for several more issues while the author is out of town again. Laurel was sighted briefly between 'out–of–towns' last week, and she said she would be back, maybe, "In a couple of weeks."

For your coming trip to France, take advantage of the special VIP welcome reserved for Club France members at many fine hotels and restaurants, where you may get year–round discounts of up to 50 percent.

Add on access to special promotional offers, bonuses and upgrades, and you will receive favored treatment from museums, tour companies, rail carriers, car rental agencies, and sporting facilities – as well as exceptional offers from over 1500 French tourism professionals. The Club France card is valid for you and up to five family members traveling together. With the Club France card you will go a lot further in France this year for less.

The American Club of Paris has roots going back to Benjamin Franklin's time in Paris. Historically, this year it is celebrating its centennial, and doing it with a day–long symposium featuring acknowledged experts who will be talking about political, historical, cultural and economic aspects of Franco–American relations.

The symposium is divided into morning and afternoon sessions, and will be followed by a black–tie gala dinner, at which Dr. Bernard Kouchner, former UN administrator for Kosovo and former French Ministe of Health, will be the keynote speaker.