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Ho and Hum

photo, cafe noir, rue montmartre

If it wasn't closed, a good reward for the long walk
from Montmartre.

Followed by Nothing

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 3. January 2005:– The coming weather promises to be dull no matter how much spin I think I can get away putting on it. To begin with we will be having 'ho' weather and it will be followed by two days, at least, of 'hum' weather.

Pretty much like Le Parisien predicted this morning, tonight's TV–weather news has forecast basically sunny skies for Tuesday. These will not be 'real' sunny skies and they might not be all day long exactly, but the word is that the outlook for AM is to be much like PM – both sort of sunny. With an expected temperature of 9 degrees, this will be a day of absolutely average everything for January.

'Hum' starts on Wednesday. Up here in the north there may be some sunbeams along the Channel, but a swath of clouds will obscure the sky over Paris. On account of this cover we can expect the day's high to be 10 degrees.

On Thursday 'hum' turns half to 'ho' again, with the clouds being split between the south and the north, leaving an apple pie pointy wedge of semi–sunny over our heads. This will happen so gently that the temperature will refuse to move in any direction and stay nailed to 10 degrees.

Le Parisien calls what we will have on Thursday 'green rays.' Well, they say, 'or gray' too, so I guess that if you really want the 'green' rays you'll be better off seeking them in Ireland.

Café Life

The 'Nothing' Part

It looks like I've mucked this issue up. I was sailing nicely along, late as usual, when the evening's TV–newsphoto, paris skyline, montmartre changed its format and I had to wait an extra half hour for the weather fantasy. Since then I've been hitting the wrong keys a lot.

By the side of Monmartre's Sacre Cœur.

Tap, tap, backspace, tap, tap, tap. Then the phone rings. Since I need a break I pick it up. Thirty minutes later I'm back to hitting the wrong keys again. To try and get up to speed I switched to the bottom of this page and tried typing in the 'countdowns' nonsense, sort of as a limbering up exercise.

I had forgotten that today, 3. January, is almost a total loss as far as significant anniversaries go. There I went putting in all these birthdays when this is the anniversary of deaths.

At the same time as I am mistyping that stuff I am trying to keep a part of my brain free for dreaming up what I'm going to write here. Instead of anything wonderful coming to mind I am wondering why there should be an issue this week.

There should be an issue this week so I can tell you about all the things about Paris that you might want to know. There are quite a number of them. But I don't have them organized right under my fingertips, and my fingertips aren't hitting the right keys with any accuracy.

Tune in next week to see if my next attempt to put out a proper issue of this weekly magazine about Paris is more successful than this week. While I'm here, I sincerely wish all readers, fans, club members, and the idly curious, a darn good New Year.

Shopping & Soldes d'Hiver Alert VI

The official word is that the coming Soldes d'Hiver will begin on Wednesday, 12. January and continue for a bitphoto, saint eustache more than five weeks until Tuesday, 22. February. There are 9 days left to get ready. Bring your piggy bank and a hammer.

Saint–Eustache's tower catches the last light.

Headline of the Week

Last Friday's Le Parisien scores an outright win again with its "Comment les Français vont réveillonner" headline. The sub– head said the French would be on the Champs–Elysées, or sitting in front of their TVs, which would be showing prerecorded festive shows, again.

The Latest Café Metropole Club 'Report'

The last club meeting's 'A Packed Café' club report is still bubbling and gay. There were more than enough civilians in the café for the traditional 'Group of the Week' photo, but none of them were happy members.

The next meeting of the Café Metropole Club will be on Thursday, which is on a Thursday exactly as usual, which puts it in the position as the first Thursday in the new year. The Saint's 'Day of the Week' will be Sainte– Mélanie despite my source telling me it is Epiphanie. Poorphoto, fiat 500 Mélanie was the mother of Mélanie the younger, and she fled from Italy when the Goths showed up. Despite being bad– tempered Mélanie became a saint, which is supposed to show how good–natured Christians can be on occasion.

The best Fiat 500 'of the year.'

Other, less dubious facts about the club can be found on the 'About the Club' page. The cutting–edge design of the virtual club membership card on this page looks as edgy online as printed, and your friends will be properly impressed. The club membership itself is totally free too, even if skating to meetings costs less than a rickshaw ride.

This Was Metropole One Year Ago

Issue 9.01 – 29. Dec 2003– this issue's the Café Metropole column began with, 'Final Late Final.' There was a belated seasonal article, titled 'Nothing Was Stirring – on Christmas Eve.' There was a touristic top–up with 'After 32 Years the Tourist Office Moves.' And for film fans there was 'Film vs Digital – Ikky Chewing Gum.' The Café Metropole Club update for 1. January was titled, "I Took the Tree Down Today" report. Laurel Avery wrote about 'Etiquette Be Damned.'photo, sign, rue des jeuneurs There were four new 'Posters of the Week' and the caption for Ric's weekly cartoon was, 'Christmas Eve Found.'

This Was Metropole Two Years Ago

Issue 8.01/04 – 6/23. Jan 2003 – this triple issue's Café Metropole column led off with 'Resolution for 2003! – 'Ed' To Take a Powder First.' The seasonal feature was titled 'New Years In Boullay – Beyond the Café Zone.' The Café Metropole Club update for 23. January was titled the "I Learned to Read and Write" report. The update for 16. January produced the "Yuk!" to Mushy Green Peas' report and the report for the 9. January meeting was called the "I See You Have Good Taste" report. The issue's Scène column was titled 'Attention! Old Car – And Young Cow Fans.' There were four holiday Paris type 'Posters of the Week' and Ric's Cartoon of the Week was seasonaly captioned, '1st Blizzard of the Week.'

'Countdowns' On Mars

The antique feature 'Quote of the Week' is back again for the tenth time in recent history and for the first time this year. Here's today's smasher – "We are all in this together." As clever as this is it is attributed to nobody, who was a well–known writer of famous but obscure proverbs.

The Unique, Real, Actual, 'Countdown'

Eight or nine weeks ago, approximately, writing from then snow–bound New Jersey Jim Auman wrote,photo, sign, rue du croissant "The local weekly French newspaper announced the upcoming 100th anniversary of the death of Jules Verne. A trip to the Encyclopedia Britannica revealed that Monsieur Verne died on March 24, 1905 – not exactly a close, upcoming event."

Possibly not for New Jersey, free of snow at last for the past nine weeks, but for Paris this major anniversary is now as few as 81 days from now. There is rather less time to wait – only 16 days – until the first super–jumbo Airbus 380 is rolled out in Toulouse. Its first flight is set to take place in March. Oddly, today is the anniversary of Leonardo da Vinci's first unsuccessful flying test, which happened 509 years ago.

These Anniversaries are More than Enough

On this day, only a short age after Albania's only National Day, it is with great pleasure that I announce the birthdays of Cicero and Philippe V, for 106 BC and 1322 respectively. Ooops,photo, post box, eyeballs backwards for Philippe because he was born in 1293, and 28 years later was succeeded by Charles le Bel. Today is also not the birthday of Pierre Larousse.

Today's Other 'Significant Dates of the Week'

There are only 362 days left of this year. Whoops! Our numbers are reversed from last week. Anyhow, this is exactly the same number of 'days left,' as at this time in 1521 when Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther. This is completely unconnected to the fact that this year has used up 3 days, the same number that 1962 had when Pope John XXIII excommunicated Dr. Fidel Castro, which is just as unconnected to the same time in 1966 when the first Cool–Aid acid test was conducted at the Fillmore in San Francisco.
signature, regards, ric

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