Frozen Weather

Brrrr, Cold Toes

Paris:– Monday, 28. February 2005:– Now they tell us. They say it gets extra cold like this 'about once every ten years.' If so, this will make it about my third time and I don't remember the last two. Of course it's probably my fault – I haven't been eating the right stuff that would help me survive a winter in the Arctic.

If you think I am just whining because my toes are cold you should know that Le Parisien agrees with me. Tomorrow is 'superbrrrr!' Wednesday is 'moinsbrrrr!' Thursday, uh–oh, 're–brrrr!' Finally, Friday has 'encore brrrr! waiting for us.

Tonight for example, the thermometre is supposed to dip down to minus 5 degrees. On Tuesday, while it is being cloudy all day, it will warm up to 2 degrees, possibly on account of a southwest wind of 60 kph.

Wednesday, the 'moins brrrr!' day, the high is still supposed to be 2 degrees, and the skies may be all bad too. Maybe there will be snow falling as well. But there may not be much wind, making it feel like a heatwave.

For Thursday I gave up trying to figure out a detailed analysis of the scrambled mess, and simply wrote 'all bad' on the paper's weather map. Along with this sketch of a description I noted the temperature predicted as one degree. If you are out in it, think positively and walk fast.

Café Life

The anniversary of this magazine has come around again. I had my mind focused on my cold toes so this momentous occasion has snuck up without warning. I have no party planned. There's no cake, no candles, no Champagne, no funny hats and no surprise party. Well, if there is, it hasn't surprised me yet.

It means, dear readers, that Metropole Paris has just finished – last issue – its 9th year and with this issue is beginning its 10th year. Right. I'm so bad with numbers that I've just added it up. It's nine years alright.

I'm a little stunned. If I had been asked in 1996 whether I'd be writing this in 2005 I might have said, "Oh no, when the dot–com boom comes along, I'll cash out and move to the Canaries." I not only missed the boat, it bypassed the harbor. It didn't stop anywhere on this continent.

You know, this isn't exactly the first time I've been writing Metropole with cold toes. Nobody asked me in 1996 if my toes would be cold in 2005. If you ask me now, am I supposed to reply that my toes will be cold on 2011? I don't think so. I hope not.

To hell with this. I'm going to make my toes warm. If I think of anything else I'll just blog it in here.

These were a disappointment to me last week. Each and every one of them went out once a day, all at different times, so we didn't do any standing around on street corners shooting the breeze together. We spent all our times slithering around side streets trying to keep out of the bad winds. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.

The week's super headline from Le Parisien on Saturday whispered "Visitez la plus grande ferme" seductively. Jacques, our leader, was at the Salon de l'Agriculture on Saturday because he always goes on the first day to pat the Blondes d'Aquitaine, or any one of eight breeds of pigs. TV–news has a field day too with endless scenes of Parisians 'visiting the farm' and sometimes shows brave farmers visiting Paris. All in all, it's welcome a change from our usual diet of sex, money, corruption, fame, strife and wretched excess.

The last club meeting's 'The Red Mugs' club report is more real than it sounds because the meeting really had some red coffee mugs. Members Berta and Scoop Maginniss brought some prototype mugs, red ones, with 'Café Metropole' on them. The idea is that you'll want a set of these so you can dream about being at the club in Paris no matter where you are. More details to come, soon I hope.