Weather Strikes Back

'Interesting' Dates

Paris:– Monday, 27. June 2005:– The weather is absolutely normal. Just as when it is cold and rainy, when the forecast calls for sunshine to break out within a few days, the 'few days' stay where they are in the future and we never catch up to them.

Now it is hot and often steamy. Today it was 38 degrees – just a hair more than 100 F – in Bordeaux. For the past several days the forecast has been for cooler weather, but it gets hotter instead. Around noon when I went into the air–cond. Monoprix it was 29 degrees and feeling just right, but when I came out 15 minutes later the pharmacy sign read 32 soggy degrees.

Places in France where the lowest overnight temperatures are 20 degrees or above have been classified as 'orange.' This is mostly around Lyon, the Rhône and down to Marseille. But tonight much of the west coast has an 'orange' storm alert, probably meaning more tropical rain is on the way.

There is no such 'alert' for Paris tomorrow but the sky is going to be tricky and you might not be able to tell the difference, if the threatened hail shows up along with clouds, lightning and thunder. With a high of 34 degrees it probably won't be spring fresh.

Another thing about the air is that it is not clean either. After several days of ever rising temperatures and very weak breezes, the pollution level is high, also 'orange.'

If tonight's TV–weather news forecast works out, Wednesday will be eight degrees cooler, and it will be cloudy. But remember what I wrote above – cooler air has been elusive.

Thursday is supposed to see the tendency confirmed with a high of only 23 degrees. A cloudy front will be moving from west to east and another will be sitting in the north, but both systems may not be quite sitting on Paris. It may be another day made for going to the movies.

From across the waters Météo Jim sends a damp version of cooked apples in the guise of a recipe. Stuck with burnt oven mitts here in weather central, here is Jim's report with the forecast this week:–

The temperatures in Pommeland are expected to reach the low to mid 90's anglograd – 33–35 eurograd – with cloudless skies. These two factors will bake La Grosse Pomme and will henceforth be referred to as 'La Grosse Pomme cuite au four' – LGPcaf – or, The Big Baked Apple. As a result of this, the forecast is suspended to be replaced by The Recipe of the Week. LGPcaf will simmer in the low 90's anglograd – 33+ eurograd – through Monday. The heat will be slightly reduced for the rest of the week to about 90 anglograd – 32 eurograd – and seasoned and stirred with an occasional thunderstorm while steaming in the kettle of the midsummer sun. Les gentlemens newyorkaises qui tondent leur gazons will have noticed that clover has been in bloom, mixing with the grass in their gazons.

Café Life

Last Tuesday, 21 June, was perfect. It's the first time I remember a first day of summer being perfect – like a good day in June should be. It was also the warmest summer begin I can remember since I arrived in 1976. Back then I thought it was normal for Paris. The 25 following freezing Junes were a surprise, but then, so were the freezing Julys and Augusts.

It is starting to look like we can quit dithering about whether global warming is real or imaginary. According to a report released on Friday France is not in the right place on the planet. While the average temperature everywhere else has gained 0.6 percent, in France the increase has been a whopping one percent.

If the tendency continues and the global increase becomes two percent, it will be three percent warmer in France. This will translate into extremes being excessive – heatwaves, floods and droughts. Apparently the numbers aren't new, but the consequences for France are disturbing. The report concludes that no mildness can be expected.

The report's authors aren't predicting any catastrophic scenarios either – no Gulfstream with a plug in it, no increase in cyclones. They are sounding the alarm because doing nothing now will have a greater cost later. Now is the time to apply the numbers on climate extremes to sensitive systems like the TGV network or nuclear power stations.

One noted change has been the three–week advance for many grape harvests in France. The question arises – should the growing areas be moved further north? And the answer should be 'no.' Because if 'yes' then the EU will have to subsidize even more grape growers. There is nothing wrong with this except that Parisians do not get to share the booty. Parisians are getting a trolley instead.

Soldes d'Ete Now

Thousands of shoppers besieged shop doors last Friday morning and commenced a frenzy of buying the minute the doors were opened. No serious injuries were reported. The summer sales will continue until about Saturday, 23. July or maybe longer. If you didn't get the tiny bikini of your dreams, just remember that there are a lot of shopping days left until the 'soldes d'hiver' begin.

Wednesday, 13 July, is the eve of 'Bastille Dy' and the star guest at big fête at the Bastille will be
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