Murder at the Café

Beach Boule Bingo

Paris:– Monday, 17. October 2005:– I think it finally tipped into autumn. Last week's gray cloud of a windshieldwiper never showed up, at least not while I was awake, so the good weather continued day after dreary day, with warm air, light winds and a lot of sunshine. What good is all that stuff we brought in the last Soldes d'Hiver if it isn't going to be seasonal – rotten – enough to wear it?

But according to tonight's TV–weather news coming temperatures will fall well short of 20 degrees while staying comfortable at 17 or 18.

In the sky department there will be some confusion tomorrow. I mean I am confused. I have to separate out the useless information but it was all splotched and sloppy. As near as I can tell there will be westerly winds of about 60 kph and the weather guy said dense clouds for the morning, will drift towards the east while losing some density, or something. We might not even notice it here.

Let's skip it and move on to Wednesday, when the 60 kph winds will still be blowing. As near as I could tell it is supposed to be partly cloudy and maybe mostly sunny here, with 17 degrees, and further east it will be mucky.

Pretty much the same thing is foreseen for Thursday, but without the winds. It seems to me it was only last night that the TV–weather news guy gave us a week–long forecast and Thursday and Friday were mostly sunny, with an 80 percent likelihood, and whatever he said for next weekend was likely too by 80 percent.

So if you happen to be here, just remember that whatever weather we get next weekend is supposed to be four–fifths likely. If it turns out to be something else, then it is the one–fifth chance contra–prediction.

Our full–house weather ace, Météo Jim over there in a drenched Pommeland, is having technical problems with his life raft. He sent this advance report on Friday.

Jerry Lee Lewis and his Great Balls of Fire are expected to return to Pommeland possibly on Sunday. This will be followed by partly sunny, windy and cool weather for the rest of the week.*

*Disclaimer The entire eastern seaboard has been caught between a low pressure system in the Atlantic Ocean that is bringing moisture from as far away as Jamaica and a high pressure system from Canada. The two systems have been clashing for more than a week and the resulting gradients between the two systems have caused high winds and beach erosion. The systems may like it so much in the greater Pommeland area that they will stay and become illegal guest workers.

Bonus Friday observation:– After 10 nonstop days of rain averaging an angloinch a day, Pommelanders were treated to a fiery spectacle this afternoon of a blazing yellow ball of fire in the sky that lasted a few minutes and then just as mysteriously disappeared. CNN sent cameras and reporters to the scene and hosted scores of UFOologists to discuss this mysterious phenomenon. In the meantime, the creeks and rivers keep on rising, roads are flooded and New Hampshire is being washed off the map.

Café Life

So far only a few Café Metropole Club members have mysteriously disappeared from the café Corona where the club meets on Thursdays. I can't say anything about the would–be members who didn't like our looks and buzzed off, becoming '404' before signing up – but there have been one or two who remembered they needed something from the bar or the tabac after arriving, and they never reappeared.

For the club's second meeting of its 7th year, mystery writer Cara Black is expected to be on hand to talk about how she came to write her first book, 'Murder in the Marais.' According to Cara it was based on the experiences of a friend's mother during the Occupation.

As many readers probably know Cara is responsible for a considerable crime wave in Paris, having set her private eye Aimée Leduc to catch murderers in the Marais, Sentier, Bastille, Belleville, Montmartre and most recently, in Clichy. Mark your calendars or agendas with this date – Thursday, 27. October and set your watches to 15:00, eurotimes.

Metropole partner Philippe of Petanque America has just written to let us know that he is organizing the 'first ever' International Petanque Tournament in Miami. This is Petanque America's second tournament, open this time to all comers. This could be pretty interesting because it will take place on South Beach where folks casually wear next–to–nothing for the climate, which is very unlike Minnesota or Helsinki.

Tune in to Petanque America Open International for tournament details. To take place in Miami on Saturday and Sunday, 12 and 13. November. And if you haven't got your French boules yet, get a set of Obut pétanque balls from Petanque America today and start practicing.

You may have bought your dream château in France, or at least a cute little Louis XIV barn, and now you feel you need a simple apartment by the seaside instead. But your dream has turned to nightmare as buyers shun your treasure. Is this your story?

Britain's Channel 4 is producing a new series of their successful 'House Trapped in the Sun' programmes. The show's producers are looking for vendors with problem properties to take part in three full–length episodes to be filmed late this year and ealy in 2006.