A Full–Page Correction

photo, prize bull, parthenaise Gentleman Larry the Bull.

Denial and Denunciation

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 6. March:– Tonight the weather presents a burning question. What the ding–dong is going on? The city is surrounded by snow, threatened with Orange Alerts, but sails calmly on, as if the Ile–de–France were an island in the sun, vibrating to the beat of tropical bongos and rainbow–colored cocktails.

There is snow to the north, snow to the east, snow to the south and snow to the west. Over the weekend there was so much snow near the Alps that 84 million holidayers en route to skiing heaven had to camp out in gymnasiums overnight on account of snow. In the east supermarkets and schools are closed on account of too much snow on roofs

Snow has been often forecast for Paris but the worst it could do was close CDG at Roissy for a bit with a blizzard and temperatures of freezing, while a few kilometres away in the city it was 9 degrees. Compared to that a near–heatwave has been forecast the next few days.

photo, egg of the week The all–week egg.

Tuesday may see some shy peeps of the sun in the morning, to be followed by a great gray vertical wiper – stretching from Calais to the Pyrenees, that will slowly sweep across the country from Tuesday to Thursday.

Winds begin tomorrow blowing from the south at 60 kph and then they shift to blow from the west at 70 kph. As the sweeper sweeps on Wednesday, winds pop up to 80 kph. Meanwhile on Tuesday the afternoon high is supposed to climb to 10 degrees, which they said on TV–weather news, 'is about normal for the beginning of March.'

:As if to prove it, they even predicted a high temperature of 12 degrees for Wednesday, although pushed along by that 80 kph breeze. On Thursday the big sweep is still sweeping, the breezes are still blowing, the clouds are to be if anything even grayer, and the temperature may fall back to 10 degrees. It could mean that the rest of France will melt, and next week I'll be giving out warnings about the 'Flood of the Century.'

Meanwhile, back for a return engagement, here's Météo Jim with the downtown Pommeland forecast, from sea to shining cool seas, East River to Hudson, including the much mis–aligned Harlem River and environs.

Hurricane Season Soon

Now that Metropole has returned from vacation – leave plenty of space here so Ed can insert a full page correction, denial and denunciation that he wasn't on vacation – so has Pommeland's so–called winter weather.

As Euro–landers shivered in un–euro like cold and euro–meter long euro–icicles hung from euro–noses, this is what happened in the non–winter west of Euroland.

photo, cheese, sausage, catalan The good humor Catalan cheese king.

January in Pommeland and most of the outer reaches of Pommeland – the rest of the USA – reached record high temper– atures, both on a daily and monthly average. Extreme drought and record heat made large parts of Texas and Oklahoma tinder dry which led to massive grass and brush fires. As parts of the US withered, so did the hopes and profits of most of the country's ski resorts.

February was more winter–like with heavy snows in extreme western Pommelandia, or the Rocky Mountains. Even La Grosse Pomme had a brief winter like moment when a record snowfall blanketed Pommeland. But in true, euro–like, Camèlot–like fashion, as described by Lerner and Lowe, the snow fell gently, bothered very few people and, as the snow must in Camèlot, the record heat returned and melted most of it.

But now that Metropole has returned, the winter weather has returned and temperatures have turned a bit below normal. Last Thursday, an anglo–inch of snow and ice fell on Pommeland along with temperatures in the mid 20s a–grad – 4 euro–grads. Temperatures will slowly increase and a high of about 70 a–grad – 21 euro–gradlettes – is expected on Saturday.

photo, beautiful vicky vacheOne of 548,256 pats for Vicky Vache.

Metropole can start counting down to the start of the next hurricane season which begins on June 1st. We are under 100 days to lift–off – or blown–away.

And until then, Les blagueurs blaguent et les bloggers bloggent and les blagueurs bloggent et les bloggers blaguent. Donc, If an infinite number of bloggers blog, and an infinite number of blagueurs blaguent, eventually one of them will write a poem by Jacques Prevert.

A la prochaine,
Météo Jim

Thank you, Jim! If there are ladies in the audience, you will be known in France as span class="fr">jolies blagueses, even if you don't write any daily poems by Jacques Prevert.

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