A Full–Page Correction

photo, prize bull, parthenaise Gentleman Larry the Bull.

Denial and Denunciation

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 6. March:– Tonight the weather presents a burning question. What the ding–dong is going on? The city is surrounded by snow, threatened with Orange Alerts, but sails calmly on, as if the Ile–de–France were an island in the sun, vibrating to the beat of tropical bongos and rainbow–colored cocktails.

There is snow to the north, snow to the east, snow to the south and snow to the west. Over the weekend there was so much snow near the Alps that 84 million holidayers en route to skiing heaven had to camp out in gymnasiums overnight on account of snow. In the east supermarkets and schools are closed on account of too much snow on roofs

Snow has been often forecast for Paris but the worst it could do was close CDG at Roissy for a bit with a blizzard and temperatures of freezing, while a few kilometres away in the city it was 9 degrees. Compared to that a near–heatwave has been forecast the next few days.

photo, egg of the week The all–week egg.

Tuesday may see some shy peeps of the sun in the morning, to be followed by a great gray vertical wiper – stretching from Calais to the Pyrenees, that will slowly sweep across the country from Tuesday to Thursday.

Winds begin tomorrow blowing from the south at 60 kph and then they shift to blow from the west at 70 kph. As the sweeper sweeps on Wednesday, winds pop up to 80 kph. Meanwhile on Tuesday the afternoon high is supposed to climb to 10 degrees, which they said on TV–weather news, 'is about normal for the beginning of March.'

:As if to prove it, they even predicted a high temperature of 12 degrees for Wednesday, although pushed along by that 80 kph breeze. On Thursday the big sweep is still sweeping, the breezes are still blowing, the clouds are to be if anything even grayer, and the temperature may fall back to 10 degrees. It could mean that the rest of France will melt, and next week I'll be giving out warnings about the 'Flood of the Century.'

Meanwhile, back for a return engagement, here's Météo Jim with the downtown Pommeland forecast, from sea to shining cool seas, East River to Hudson, including the much mis–aligned Harlem River and environs.

Hurricane Season Soon

Now that Metropole has returned from vacation – leave plenty of space here so Ed can insert a full page correction, denial and denunciation that he wasn't on vacation – so has Pommeland's so–called winter weather.

As Euro–landers shivered in un–euro like cold and euro–meter long euro–icicles hung from euro–noses, this is what happened in the non–winter west of Euroland.

photo, cheese, sausage, catalan The good humor Catalan cheese king.

January in Pommeland and most of the outer reaches of Pommeland – the rest of the USA – reached record high temper– atures, both on a daily and monthly average. Extreme drought and record heat made large parts of Texas and Oklahoma tinder dry which led to massive grass and brush fires. As parts of the US withered, so did the hopes and profits of most of the country's ski resorts.

February was more winter–like with heavy snows in extreme western Pommelandia, or the Rocky Mountains. Even La Grosse Pomme had a brief winter like moment when a record snowfall blanketed Pommeland. But in true, euro–like, Camèlot–like fashion, as described by Lerner and Lowe, the snow fell gently, bothered very few people and, as the snow must in Camèlot, the record heat returned and melted most of it.

But now that Metropole has returned, the winter weather has returned and temperatures have turned a bit below normal. Last Thursday, an anglo–inch of snow and ice fell on Pommeland along with temperatures in the mid 20s a–grad – 4 euro–grads. Temperatures will slowly increase and a high of about 70 a–grad – 21 euro–gradlettes – is expected on Saturday.

photo, beautiful vicky vacheOne of 548,256 pats for Vicky Vache.

Metropole can start counting down to the start of the next hurricane season which begins on June 1st. We are under 100 days to lift–off – or blown–away.

And until then, Les blagueurs blaguent et les bloggers bloggent and les blagueurs bloggent et les bloggers blaguent. Donc, If an infinite number of bloggers blog, and an infinite number of blagueurs blaguent, eventually one of them will write a poem by Jacques Prevert.

A la prochaine,
Météo Jim

Thank you, Jim! If there are ladies in the audience, you will be known in France as jolies blagueses, even if you don't write any daily poems by Jacques Prevert.

Café Life

But First – the 'Headline of the Week'

'RIDICULES!' in big black capital letters graces today's front page of Le Parisien. This word is part of the paper's Sports News and it is about the football game yesterday between the city team PSG and Olympic Marseille's second–string junior squad – the equivalent of the 5th division – a scruffy gang that the mighty PSG machine was unable to overcome. Score – zero–zero. In French, a match–null.

Not being an active football fan I do not know what the fuss was about. But radio–news said that Marseille intended only to send its junior Jims to Paris, and also asked its fans to forego the trip and hang out at the OM Café in sunny downtown Marseille's Vieux–Port.

photo, ex-free chickenOnce free as a bird.

Le Parisien is outraged. They quote the president of PSG, Pierre Blayau, saying, "J'ai honte." This was in the stadium with all the city's bigwigs in the stands – oh! – the shame!

It was first time in history, for a zero–zero score, that the whole world in Marseille turned out to Saint–Charles station today to greet, cheer, acclaim their junior team, returning heros of the day, with a celebration that will be difficult to top in a town much given to gaudy parades.

Canal+ the pay cable–TV operator is the owner of PSG. A poll showed that cable subscribers rated the broadcast at 8.6 out of 20, the lowest rating ever. PSG fans at the Parc des Princes were not less disappointed. 'A bunch of sheep,' said one fan who wished he'd gone to the last day of the Salon d'Agriculture instead.

Hacking, Hacking, Hacking

Maybe it should be, 'Excuses, Excuses, Excuses.' I wish I were on vacation. The broad design of the new Metropole was sketched on a napkin and Josef M. Schomburg quickly translated the scribble into functional code. And then, as they say, the funnies began.

It's a bit like making sand castles. The rough structure goes up quickly and then attention is paid to detail. Work on a tower forges ahead, up and up it goes, and than some finishing touches are applied. Step back to admire it and the first thing you notice is the whole back wall has fallen down. As soon as you put it right the tower collapses, over and over.

Like a sand castle the code behind these pages is like grains of sand. It sticks together for a while... Look. It's my fault. I designed the thing to look as simple as dirt. I forgot what a piece of meccano it is. The way it was before, it took me years to get it that way. Now it's like a start–over. There are 98 blinkedy–blink loose nuts.

This explains, friends, readers, and club members, why there isn't more to this issue. On the other hand blog–fever finally gripped me – no doubt 48 hours before it becomes a wash–out – and GoodBlogWeek began timidly last week, with more to come this week.

I'm sorry about the cows and chickens. I went down to Paris Expo yesterday, just a few hours before the end of this year's Beautiful Cow Show. There they were. The big, beautiful, cows. Plus sheep, piglets, goats – I think – and all the foodlies, even chickens. You could see them, you could eat them, you could take them home, all ready to eat whole or in pieces but none were there to pet, fondle, cuddle or hear, cock–a –doodle–do!

The Latest Café Metropole Club 'Report'

The 'Club Meeting of the Week' last Thursday tripped off my fingers as the To Catch a Mouse meeting report thanks to memberette Tomoko and her tales of wild animals in her kitchen, and what to feed them. But enough is enough and if the mouse is reading this, pay attention – Tomoko wants her kitchen back!

photo,pastel drinks, italy Boot or leg drinks from Italy.

The next Thursday meeting of the Café Metropole Club will NOT be happening at the Café La Corona on 9. March. The café, in a burst of renovations that began somewhere around 2000, will be undergoing some painting this week. If this has caught anybody short they should write to me, to arrange a possible fallback, back–up, or emergency alternative location.

A basically fairly true story about the club is on the 'About the Club' page. Should you be curious enough, help yourself to an examination of the club's original and hand– crafted membership card, almost a collector's item. No less Hors d'âge, the club membership is guaranteed to be what it actually is – no less than life–long and easily worth a snappy buck any day on eBay.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
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