This is Metamorphosis?

photo, rooftops in rain, tour eiffel, horizon From Beaubourg, rays on the horizon.

Is that Spelled Right?

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 13. March 2006:– It rained more in Paris last week than at any time since the week before. We stood around like penguins on an excursion to Patagonia and shrugged it off as if we were canvasback ducks, sort of waterproof, and waited patiently until the clouds lifted so we could continue our flights north to cooler summer quarters in Saint–Denis.

I can certainly write this without fear of contradiction, partly because I am too tied up to read emails from people who know better. But if you are one of these I hope you can write sooner so I can stand corrected rather than standing here uncorrectly.

Now that you are paying attention here is the weather forecast. According to tonight's TV–weather news there isn't going to be much rain in the near future around here. It may be pouring in Belgium or in the Schwarzwald but those places, although near, are off TV's maps.

Except for a few high, white clouds up along the miserable Channel coast, it may be sunny here tomorrow morning and maybe a bit less sunny tomorrow afternoon. The rest of France will be very sunny, but it's not near here either. For Paris, we are supposed to expect a high of 8 degrees.

photo, fiat 500 of the week Long time no see the 'Fiat 500 of the Week.'

Ditto ditto for Wednesday with the light clouds, the temperature, and on Thursday it may be mostly sunny again, still with the light clouds or lots of big spaces between them, with a high of a cool 6 degrees to remind us that the closer spring gets, the less the local weather likes giving up its greedy hold on winter. All in all, it'll be fine weather for February.

Back for the another season, contra–Atlantic, here's Météo Jim, writing today with a Pommeland forecast for excessive greenability, from the Easter River to shining cool Hudson Bay, Battery Park to Pacques, including the fabulous Coney Island and offshore reefs in the environs.

Hibernia Rules the Green

In the rest of Extremely Greater Pommeland, warm, moist air is coming up from the Gulf of Mexico only to clash with frigid Canadian air flowing down from the north. Where these two air masses meet produces a weather front far exceeding any human conflict. These clashes have resulted in the creation of tornadoes which have already attacked parts of the Midwest. They will continue in intensity until winter arrives.

However, as soon as the pseudo–Pommeland spring arrives, the approaching winter will quickly cause spring to retreat. This coming Friday, Pommeland celebrates the Feast of the Hibernians. A great parade will march down 5th Avenue in La Grosse Pomme accompanied by green shamrocks, green beer and green bagels, washed down by staggering amounts of green corned beef and green cabbage.

photo, boules players, sunday, luxembourgBoules on Sunday in the Luxembourg.

This marks the true arrival of green winter because this feast comes from the green land of Hibernia, so named by the Romans who never invaded it because of its fierce greenness. It is a land where winter rules for 14 months of the year and then it really turns extra green. In honor of this overly green land and climate, the Romans gave the French the word hiver and the Anglo speakers, 'hibernate.'

In true Hibernian fashion, the weather on Friday is predicted to be rain, snow and temperatures may be in the 30s, anglo–grad.

Ed's Note – I was worried for a moment until I washed my eyes out with window cleaner. It is creation of 'tornados' above, not torpedoes.

Café Life

This is Metamorphosis?

While France lurches from calamity to catastasis, while the streets resound with the raw sounds of protest and flying trashcans, teargas, while politicians crisscross the arid steppes in search of votes, and while the Minister of the Interior campaigns in the Antilles, while folks scan the skies in fear of birds and rain, when others are fighting mosquitos for their very lives, and statistically the unemployment falls, why this is mere background static during the battle to sail Metropole out of the drizzly fog and into the silver light of a golden future.



Yes, readers, friends and club members; Metropole is undergoing a metamorphosis from being a humble caterpillar lounging under a stink cabbage on a lily pod to becoming – not the glass slipper that fits only the most beautiful foot, nay! – but the very foot of beauty itself.

All of this is owed to Josef M. Schomburg. This young man is a vertible magician, an alchemist, a man with a magic baton, a pocket full of bunny rabbits' feet, the original Mister Luckypenny himself, practically a licensed Marabou with a certified diploma from the Sorbonne's Dakar campus – which reminds me, this august institution was not actually sacked by rioting students over the weekend, as the right–wing press may have claimed.

photo, big and little sailors, luxembourg Marine activities near the Senat.

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