Sky On Your Head

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Headroom for the Masses

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 5. June 2006:– This is going to be a quick, short, snappy issue of what used to be a substantial weekly magazine containing nearly everything you wanted to know about Paris this week, or last week or any old week. The first thing that went wrong was a couple of days ago when I thought I could beat the usual last–rush by putting in the issue date as 12. June.

This terrible mistake was discovered and using the modern magic of software – today is the anniversary of the Apple II by the way – the incorrect date was changed in a jiffy to 6. June. For some reason, many hours later, I chanced to verify this date – like a half day after doing 'on this day in history' – ohmygoff! – did I use 6. June as the date? Ah, anyway, today was really Monday, 5. June and I hope it rots in perdition.

With that out of the way it seems to me that it must be weather time. The TV being brainless, has no affect on the date, but I'm pretty sure today's forecast will begin with Tuesday, which as I write this is already here but it's too dark to see anything. Later on, like in two hours, it will begin to lighten in the east and the sky over the cemetery will become pink and I will pull the covers more tightly over my head and dig my knuckles into my ears – for our bonus long weekend is over for another year.

It was whatshername on TV again tonight and she did a pretty good job. So she should have because we are to get some sunshine for a change. Around here it will be sunny tomorrow and in the rest of France it will be real sunny. Don't pay any attention to the 40 kph wind coming down the Channel. That's not near here. The temperature will be new and improved, and we've been told to expect 21 degrees.

photo, visitors taking a restAfter standing in lines, a bit of a sit–down.

Somehow on Wednesday it won't be quite as sunny because there will be some stupid thin clouds between us and the sun. In the rest of France it will be very sunny of course. And that wind, it blows in the same direction, but now over land, still at 40 kph, towards Nantes or Bordeaux. Oh yeah, 22 is the predicted high.

Finally – just how long have we been waiting? – finally, on Thursday, real sunshine kicks in around here and the temperature scoots up to 24, which maybe is some sort of average 'for the time of year,' right? I forget what this line I drew across the northeast is supposed to mean – Le Parisien's map shows sunballs on both sides. I did put in the wind too, blowing at 40 kph from Lyon towards Nantes, again. That's kinda odd. I wonder what it means.

Abbreviated Dissolution

From the other side of the great ditch here is timely weather news concocted by Météo Jim exclusively for Metropole's readers bored silly by Mr. G's "That's the story!" on Channel 11. Let's welcome back Météo Jim:–

We recently returned from somewhat sunnier climes in the country of the tall, pointed firs – hereinafter known as CotTPF. It is also a rain–soaked land with additional heavenly libations pouring onto the ground. Temperatures in the CotTPF were in the mid–50's a–grad over the weekend.

From what I can deduce, Pommeland has been scorched and then put into a wet pan to rehydrate. Since the beginning of June, Pommeland has received almost 3 a–inches of libations, much too early for Beaujolais Nouveau libations. Monday will start out cloudy with the promise of the clouds dissipating, or becoming dissolute, but that's another story beyond the scope of this report. The rest of the week will see partly cloudy weather with a chance of thunderboomers towards Friday with temperatures slowly rising into the low 80's.

Disclaimer:– As usual, the usual and unusual disclaimers are in effect. Use them sparingly.

Café Life

Finding Headroom

Long suffering readers, I feel for you. Here you are dialing into this Web magazine every week ever hopeful that there will be something shiny and new here but week after lousy week it's the same thing. 'Ed' is still foooling around, fiddling with software, it is 03:27 in the morning, Tuesday, and here I am, late, late, late.

photo, seine quai, peniches, barges, stairs At the foot of the Eiffel tower, another world.

I am very tempted to simply grab 1000 words from some back issue and jam them in here, go brush my teeth, yawn, and flop. But it was almost good weather yesterday so I went over to Trocadéro to see how folks are treating the Tour Eiffel . Can you imagine it?

When you live in Paris you would think that one would never go near the thing. 'Oh yeah, that hulking tower. Just stands there.' If you've seen it once you've seen pretty well everything that it does. So I went over there and in the Métro station there were hordes of people going every which way almost as if Johnny Hallyday was giving away free tickets to his current monster tour.

On the surface, folks standing in lines to buy trinkets, buy ice cream, take their photos, scoot around on their rollers, lots of them. What? On here on a long weekend Sunday, to look at the tower, only half of them out–of–towners.

What it might be, regular people live in small apartments, and like this Trocadéro is a big place with a whopping amount of sky. The place is big, the platform between the two wings of the Palais de Chaillot is huge, and the view from the balcony overlooking the fountains and the tower across the Seine is gigantic. As headroom goes, it lifts your hair.

There was this dude taking a café with Matt Rose

on the sidewalk at Tina's on Daguerre this afternoon and after having no fun talking about Iraq he mentioned being in the mountains in Italy for a couple of weeks. Mat asked, "Did you see goats?" Yeah, he did. And sheep. Maybe mountain goats. Heard wolves. No bears though – that's the Pyrenées. As soon as they let the bears go, they hide. Somebody else is killing the cute little lambs.

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