No Darn Rain In New Mexico

photo, sharon, elliot, sandy, group of the week Sharon, Elliot and Sandy, today's members of the week.

Does It Sound Like Here?

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Thursday, 29. June:–  This town is at peace with the world today, the sky is as blue as dusty wheat near Chartres with a gentle breeze riffling the awnings and the air is warm as a bath in a mud puddle. The only thing missing is a lazy afternoon watching the nags at the racetrack, but that season is over except for a bit of buggy trotting out at Vincennes tonight.

So I carefully watch tonight's TV–weather news in the pause between football games. It's the Joe's turn, in one of his suits with eight windowpane stripes, and to test our patience he stands in front of the weather map for the known world – La France! – ah, because he is hiding a rare version of the map, featuring as it does, One Big Sunball. Colossal. Actually he is standing in front of the map because he wants to tell us about the ozone first. Something will be wrong with the ozone tomorrow.

I am wracking my brains trying to remember if ozone is a good thing or a bad thing. Isn't a lack of it at the South Pole dangerous for penguins? So what if there's too much here – won't the penguins at Vincennes love it, if there are any penguins at Vincennes.

Le Parisien doesn't believe in ozone alerts so I can't verify this with the paper. Tomorrow then, there's an ozone alert for Paris. Otherwise if you happen to be outside you may notice that the sky is cloudless and it is all sunny all over around here. Elsewhere not anywhere near here there may be little clouds, acting as décor in an all blue sky, which should be worth 29 degrees here.

photo, seine of the weekClear sky and Seine of the week.

Same boring thing is expected for Saturday except no little clouds have been predicted for anywhere, near or far. The temperature is supposed to edge up one degree, increasing thirsts considerably. On Sunday, when some clouds float into western France far from here, and a few others gather near an Alp, around here it will be all sunny again, with the temperature touching 31 degrees.

Metropole distances itself from this forecast, coming as it does from Météo France and France–2 TV–news. First off, the ozone is a wild card meant to distract us from questioning the One Big Sunball. Secondly there's the elevated temperature – if true, expect wackily stability. Thirdly, finally, Saturday will be 1. July and it is against Paris Rules to have a summer day begin July.

The 'Does It Sound Like Here' Report

Since last week I am no wiser about how I am to begin one of these club 'reports.' I thought of doing mankind a favor by watching all of tonight's movie on Arte. What I have missed, what mankind has gained, was the 1957 Billy Wilder classic named 'Love in the Afternoon,' featuring Maurice Chevalier, Audrey Hepburn – gasp! – Gary Cooper, and Paris' Hotel Ritz. The very place Hemingway said was clean and well–lit.

Here's the plot. Ol' Coop plays a coureur de jupons threatened by a toady husband with a tiny European pistol. After he was saved by Audrey, I went out for cigarettes and when I came back I wrote the detailed weather report above. But you all know Billy Wilder – as a Viennese whenever he wanted to make a movie too smutty for Hollywood, he always had Paris. Don't we all?

photo, drinks of the weekMore liquidmania of the week.

Today's club report actually starts out like so many other club reports. So I'll skip it. Before I knew it I was standing on the Pont Neuf admiring the sky, while walking towards Samaritaine which is not having any Soldes d'Eté this year. Lots of other places are having sales but they are not near this bridge, and besides, I did my shopping yesterday. Does anybody know when they stopped using cotton to make summer shirts?

A lot of people must think the summer holidays are here because they nearly filled up the two terraces of the club's café, La Corona.. On the other hand it is a treat to see folks throwing money around with abandon, sucking down cocktails and frites under the red Coke parasols. With the traffic thundering past their open toed sandals it almost reminded me of high summer in Saint Tropez, the town that solved its parking problems in Marseille. Er, just kidding!

Besides the eternal old man reading the paper the café's 'grande salle' was reserved entirely for club members. Somebody had been eating porridge at the club's tables so I chose a handy substitute, and settled down with today's Le Parisien. All the news in it was two days old, on account of France winning over Spain late on Tuesday after the presses went to sleep.

photo, panache of the week Not the 2nd beer but a panache.

Member Sandy Brent interrupted my doze on page nine, the first news page, reading about Dominique de Villepin lying low in the Assembly National. The first thing Sandy did was mention walking around for days since this morning. Together we attracted the attention of Patrick, the waiter of the week, and asked him to bring food and drink toute suite before Sandy passed out.

I would have thought he would have been more stalwart in our weather because he comes from Santa Fe but maybe the ozone is already acting up. On the other hand, for all I know, walking is illegal in Santa Fe. Sandy had to eat a whole piece of apple pie before he could say anything – like, about what he's been doing since his last club meeting.

I should look at the notes I made. Ah yes. New Mexico is having a drought Sandy says. Only one inch of rain when there should have been 11 inches in the past six months. Me, I think New Mexico is in the desert. I ask Sandy how things are in Patagonia. He says Patagonia is in South America as if this means it is okay not to know how things are there. But I meant the Patagonia in New Mexico. Sandy says there is no Patagonia in New Mexico. "Arizona?" I try. Sandy is dubious.


He has eaten his pie and sipped off his café, and after a long wait Patrick has brought a very ordinary glass of plain water. Sandy is about to go somewhere quiet and peaceful so I try to hustle him into posing for the 'group photo of the week.' This is the least of Sandy's desires.

But as luck often has it members Sharon and Elliot Medrich sweep up and install themselves, ordering drinks, with Elliot saying something like, "The only American club members who have come from the only city whose mayors included a past governor and a past congressman."

photo, sharon, beer of the weekCool café, cooler beer, in breezy Paris.

As you know, windows open, out there on the quai there is a motordrom of traffic, sirens, diesel trucks, unmuffled scooters – finally Sharon says, "Read my lips very slowly." I write 'only' and than add another 'only' and then puzzle it out and give up. What city?

Sharon has this look – 98 years old and can't tie his shoelaces! "Oakland," she says. Yeah. Right. Everybody knows Oakland has ex–congressmen for mayors. What happens to its ex–mayors?

The good thing is that Sandy is perking up, telling us how he rents his house to the opera so he can come here every summer where it rains more than in New Mexico but still there's a drought happening. Sharon is saying she has a habit of hanging out with Elliot – for 10 years now – but then they start picking on him and the New York accent he's never completely smothered in California..

Sandy says, "How do you say 'milk,' Sharon?" Sharon says, "Melk." Adding, "Where are the lovely young women who come out on the westernmost tip of Brittany?" I swear this is a question I noted but I don't see anything else here about it, because then Sharon asked me for my opinion about hybrid cars.

photo, corona terrace today Club café terrace of the week.

Before I could express my highly thoughtful consideration we decided to really do the 'group photo of the week' and up we heaved and out we trotted and the mood was good and kidding, arms around each other, and mugging a bit but what the hell, this is Paris and you can be whatever you want here.

And out there, being edged by waiters, ogled by bored drivers, we ended up shaking hands, all, and that was that – for another year or until Christmas, or until next year in Oakland or Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Consider Saturday Night

France plays against Brazil next Saturday evening in the World Cup. Although the match will be in Germany, if France wins there will certainly be a spontaneous celebration on the Champs–Elysées and it will probably be somewhat rowdy. But joy will be real. If you can stand it it'll be something not to miss. On the other hand if France flubs it's date with destiny the celebration on the Champs–Elysées will not be spontaneous. Stay tuned.

About the Café Metropole Club

Not nearly as likely but quite true as far as this club meeting 'report' goes, especially the 'food of the week' for the second week running. Take a peek at the explanation of what might be going on here, found on the About the Café Metropole Club page, containing its few morsels of wisdom, hamburgers, baguettes, green peppers, garlic, steamed snails and frites. Always, always frites.

graphic, club location map

What's This?

These silly club meetings, never as serious as they seem, begin at 15:00 every Thursday and continue until 17:00 on Thursdays. These times, see the clock fingers, are equivalent to 3 pm to 5 pm not around here. Around here is where these meetings are. Whatever you say will be truly appreciated by the other members present if there are listening, and sometimes there are but not always – and if it should by rare chance be written here.* Other stories will depend on your skill.

Caution – should you have the personal goal of remaining unfindable via the Web, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be '404 – not found' by Web search engines before becoming 'found.' Not becoming a club member is another way to remain unfound, but it is far less fun.

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since last week because of the dispensation given to hybrid drivers to forgo freeloading riders and roll solo in the carpool lanes during rush hours.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini