No News, No Sports, No

photo, garden musee carnavalet Fête des Jardins at the Musée Carnavalet.

Weather On Page 13

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 25. September:–  Whee! as we say in the slippery slope business. That was the week that was and it zipped past so fast that its dust is floating over Liverpool. I cannot say I have a lot to remember about it, unlike what is about to befall here. But first, let's get the weather out of the way. Please turn to page 13, below.

Ed's Note:– Last week I sincerely wrote here, "There might be more to come for this week's issue. Please check back for interesting updates." So much for perfect intentions, again.

Page 13, Right Here

I looked carefully at tonight's TV–weather news and the first thing I noticed was a big whirl of smaze that the weather guy said was a satellite image of a big whirl of smaze. If this was the only thing they showed you would immediately turn to the other weather channel, in South Africa.

But it was quickly replaced with the customary maps of France and I thoughtfully drew an H out west in the Atlantic Ocean and waited patiently for the cascade of sunballs. Instead this Laurent Romejko – can that be right? I guarantee you, it's with a J – he blathered on about a lot of cloud and rain way out east, in Germany if it was on the map beside Alsace but it isn't, is it?

photo, quai de relax On the quai de relax last Thursday.

Where we are, around here, there are clouds forecast, blue sky between them, and some – feeble? – sunballs. From experience I will say that it will be nicer than it looked. However the temperature will be on the low side, under 20, if I may be blunt, exactly 19 degrees.

Wednesday will probably be worse because it is forecast to be better, with the sunballs being less timid. The eastern part of France is a total loss but it's not around here. A high of 20 was also forecast, which is, you will notice, above 19. As Mister G says, we'll switch gears for Thursday and have the clouds and junk in the west, leaning into the middle of the country, like to right here. A bonus temperature of 22 was mentioned, for whatever it's worth. Yeah, well, sunshine in Alsace if you like that kind of thing.

Meanwhile, Way Way Out West in New York

Once again Météo Jim, possibly encouraged by oncoming freshness, is ogling the sky again in New Jersey. In his very own words –

As forecast last week, summer in Pommeland refused to exit. On Monday and Tuesday the Muggies, a left over retro group from the summer staged a benefit concert – mostly for their own benefit – to convince Pommelanders that the Muggies should stay, at least until next summer.

photo, poster, lips of the week

To no avail. The group The Zephyrs from the Cool School arrived in town and blew them offstage, leaving a beautiful debut for the beginning of autumn with temperatures in the upper 60's – low 70's. All a–grad. Clouds played hide and seek with the sun.

The Muggies did not take being shoved off the stage for an answer. This weekend they are playing with the Downpours in an attempt to bring back lost fans. But that too will be short–lived as the Zephyrs return again for the rest of the week with the chance of combining with The Showers on Friday and possibly introducing the Octoberettes, another cool group that laces their music with hints of frost.

A la prochaine, Météo Jim

photo, empty in the marais Sunday offside in the Marais.

Café Life

International, Mondial, Salon, Auto

Every two years Paris hosts the folks that create and manufacture the most expensive appliances that we will ever buy, especially if we are not in the class of having our own private jet or ocean cruiser. I mean, Paris has shows for these too. Don't let it be said there is no place for the filthy or ultra–riche here in this republic.

Yes. Why only the other day the TV–news was promoting this really big show by showing us the red street racing car ordered by some maniac, running around a racetrack. They said it was hand–built and cost 4 million dollars, and, as we could see, it was very red. But in the end, what do I care? It's not as if it were priced in euros.

photo, louis xiv, alone at the musee carnavalet Louis XIV, alone on Sunday.

For the rest of us, for two whole weeks, the world's car industry will have all of its jewels on show, right here at Paris–Expo down at the Porte de Versailles. I've gotten out of the habit of reading the auto mags so I don't know what they will be showing.

Maybe there will be replicas of the Model–T, or maybe better yet, a reconstruction of the steam wagon mentioned near the bottom of this Webpage. When I go there I will cruise around and spy on the Italians to see what the future holds – not that anybody wants anything that looks slick. After some years of ugliness I hope the tide is changing.


Mondial de l'Automobile, at Paris–Expo at the Porte de Versailles, from Saturday, 30. september until Sunday, 15. October. Open from 10:00 to 20:00 ot 22;00 daily. Entry: 12€. Also featuring vans, trucks, racing cars, prototypes, dream cars, sub–mini cars, and other stuff. This salon fills up most of Paris–Expo's eight halls so it is most important to remember to wear stout shoes. Or roller skates.

Our Yoko Does the Other Yoko

Our very own Yoko appears in the stage show Beatles Story for three performances next weekend. This involves some French guys who play Beatles tunes – really well – and sing, and act like Beatles. With intermission the show lasts over two hours, and it is a show. Yoko's part – she does not sing – has been expanded from the version I saw a year ago. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, 28, 29. and 30. September, at 20:30. At the Théâtre Gymnase, 38 bis, boulevard Bonne Nouvelle, Paris 10. Cash bar. Métro: Bonne Nouvelle. InfoTél.; 01 42 46 79 79, or hit the Websites.

The 'Talk, Talk, Drink, Drink' Café Metropole Club 'Report'

The third club meeting of the week in September last Thursday happened as foreseen. The secretary was there and and four members posed for the famous photo like usual. Reconstruct your club lore by reading the report of this this impromptu meeting which was breezily titled, Shop Talk, Stage Talk – Talk, Talk, Drink, Drink.

photo, thursday, rue de seine Thursday in the rue de Seine.

The coming meeting of the Café Metropole Club will be on the fourth Thursday of September which is the 28th. The 'Saint of the Week,' will be Saint–Venceslas, which equals Václav if you are Bohemian. His father's father Bořivoj, was converted by Saint Cyril and Saint Methodius. However, Wenceslaus was murdered by being hacked to death by his brother Boleslaus at the church in Stará Boleslav. Colorful people!

The equally true legend of the club is on a page of utter magic so aptly named the About the Club Webpage. Stretch your facilities of reason with few and minor facts, by glancing at the club's awardless, edgy and blotchy hand–fashioned exquisite membership card before its imminent oblivion.

photo, sign, rue du parc royal

This Was Metropole Two Years Ago

This popular feature continues its unavailability this week for cloudy reasons, partly because Ed is out on a high limb inspecting the ripening chestnuts.

Café Life Lite 99.5

Ban That Song

Today marks the date in 1690 when America's first newspaper was banned. It was also the only day that the four page Publick Occurrences Both Foreign and Domestick was published. Meant to contain a glut of news, only three pages had any. Four days later the Governor and Council in Boston, Massachusetts issued a proclamation condemning the unauthorized venture, although they admitted that it contained Reflections of a very high nature. The problem was that it also had sundry doubtful and uncertain Reports. Just to make sure no wise guys got any ideas, all future publications were banned in advance. Some 114 years later, on this date, the Declaration of Human Rights was adopted by the republic's new Congress.

Pataphysical Alternatives

photo, sculpture, middle ages bread delivery

There are a mere 97 days left of this year, the same number that 678 had when king Pépin le Bref died of old age. Many have forgotten the short Pépin but remember his son, Charlemagne. Pépin, son of Charles Martel and Rotrude de Tréves, was born in Jupille in Belgium, in the home county of the Mˇrovingiens and the Carolingiens, and he is buried in Saint–Denis. He may have been survived by his wife, Berthe au grands pieds.

This is totally unconnected to the fact that this year has used up 268 days, the same number that 303 had when Saint–Fermin of Pamplona was beheaded while on a cross–country road trip preaching the gospel. Ordained as a priest in Toulouse, he returned to Pamplona to be its first bishop. He lost his head in Amiens. He was not torn apart by bulls like Saturninus in Toulouse, not Pamplona.

photo, sculpture, mademposelle boggleville Our Mme. Boggleville

Invented Here First

With the Auto Salon coming up it seems like a good time to mention that the automobile was invented in France by Nicolas–Joseph Cugnot whose birth was not today in 1725 in Void which we all know is in the Meuse area. His steam wagon, the first to translate up and down piston travel into rotary power, first ran in 1769. Called a Fardier à vapeur it was also the first car to have a crash, in 1771. The rest of Cugnot's life was downhill but the Musée des Arts et Metiers in Paris has an example of his 1770 model on display.

Absolutely Classless

This date in 1547 might be remembered for the coronation of Ivan le Terrible. His other names were IV and Vassilivitch in case you are interested in Czars. On the other hand you might wish to recall that today in –606 also recalls a coronation, that of Nebuchadnezzar II, as king of Babylon. On the other hand you might prefer to forget about it.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini