Gnash No More

photo, place edgar quinet, rain, motos, reflections, colors It was raining in Paris on Saturday.

Climate Soggy Norm

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 18. June:–  Some readers were probably gnashing their teeth late in the winter and throughout the so–called spring when we had such mild weather that spring was skipped entirely, and we had summer instead. I can say now that it was a mistake and we won't do it again.

The Summer That Was, Not

It just goes to show that folks who get overly uppity are looking for a smack–down, even if it is in the form of rain pounding them into the ground. Paris shops are selling record numbers of umbrellas as old ones are ripped to smithereens on an almost daily basis. The gutters are full of black corpses, torn to shreds and broken struts.

The outlook, frankly, is dire. The low is sitting offshore, and causing confusion by tossing overhand waves of moist, that will flood across the country sort of from the northwest. Tuesday will begin mostly sunny – as have many recent days – but during the afternoon it will be dark, and cloudy, and it will rain at some point, or be stormy with thunder and lightning, maybe with solid raindrops as big as baseballs.

But the general trend of weather is coming from the southwest, and it is warm, and moist of course. We've been told by the TV–weather news to expect 29 degrees on Tuesday. It will be like being in a hot teapot.

photo, 42nd street, 30 may, sundown New York's 42nd Street, 30 May.

On Wednesday we will be able to feel the draught from the southwest, but with no more that 24 degrees. Depending on where the next assault from the northwest gets, it may be mostly sunny here. The situation for Thursday looks even more dire, but mostly sunny is still the prediction.

The weather was too good for too long and I got too used to their optimistic and generally accurate forecasts. I think I must return to my former skepticism. Right now I feel like hitting the invert button. Twelve hours to the east and the whole thing changes from mostly sunny to mostly anything but sunny. Weather – I'm watching you!

Transatlantic readers may welcome this timely weather update from the west, or east coast of that continent, proving that Metropole's coverage is wider than merely Montparnasse. Here's our exclusive reporter Météo Jim with another uplifting forecast, like the ones we used to have before we voted so often.

Groundhog Goes Yikes!

Yesterday, Sunday, June 17, Pommeland celebrated la Fête des pères. The weather promised to cooperate with temperatures reaching 90 a–grad – 33 e–grad – along with abundant sunshine. This celebration will remain until Tuesday or Wednesday when a cold front will arrive along with the chance of spritzes und thunderdonnergeboomers and bring the thermometer down to the lower 80s a–grad – 27+ e–grad.

Also to note is that this date* used to be celebrated in the former Land called West Germany as Tag der deutschen Einheit which commemorated the uprising by the happy socialist workers, peasants and soldiers in the former East Germany – or DDR – in 1953.

photo, sign, companie parisienne, embeded

Further celebrations will take place on Thursday, June 21, which marks the date of the weekly meeting of Café Metropole Club as well as the first day of summer. Even though 100% of the members will take notice of this date, only .000001% of the members will attend. To boost participation, the Server Lady is trying to catch the Groundhog in her garden and have him flambé–ed and served to club members as an inducement to attend the meeting.

A la prochaine , Météo Jim

*Ed's Note:– The date was 17. June, from 1954 to 1990. In 2004 there was a heated discussion about dropping this holiday – now on 3. October – so folks could work more, but Germans are just as adverse to it as the French are to working on holidays. Since 1997 the Tag der offenen Moschee is also celebrated on the same day.

Ed's Note 2:– The Server Lady was quite upset about last week's surprise invitation to spend a night in her garden and said she was putting her guardian cats outside.

Café Life

Pinks Sweep Back

No more French voted yesterday than a week earlier but some of the gang that didn't vote on 10. June did yesterday and some that did didn't yesterday, which caused the predicted 475 seats for Nicolas Sarkozy's UMP to fade to a mere 315, a whole 44 less than before this whole business started.

photo, umbrellas, mud, rain, rue de rennesRain on Saturday.

All the same the Socialists and their red, black and green allies fell far short of achieving a majority of seats in the national assembly. This means that president Sarkozy will have the means to carry out his program for the next five years.

The right had been asking voters to give them an overwhelming blue wave but the left managed a moral victory, by snatching away the cream of the right's victory. Government super minister, Alain Juppé, in office a month, was defeated in his Bordeaux stronghold – he was handily elected mayor there last October – by an unknown Socialist, Michéle Delaunay. The Socialists gained 58 new seats.

Another loser of note was the far right–wing Front National that failed utterly when Marine Le Pen's parachute failed to open in the district she had chosen to contest.

A week ago it looked like the right was unstoppable, headed for a crushing majority. But the right fumbled rather spectacularly when it let it be known that it was contemplating a 5 point hike of the value–added tax, to bring it up to the stratospheric level of 24.6 percent. And this extra tax would be levied to ease charges that employers would pay on overtime work, under the government's plan of more pay for more work. Deciding against a miniscule rise for the minimum wage didn't help either.

Meanwhile the communists didn't get knocked right out. The PCF managed to retain 15 seats and they are expected to have the Greens sitting with them, to form a parliamentary group. Centrist François Bayrou's ex–UMP, now MoDem, scraped back from the edge of extinction to grasp 4 seats.

Head Pink Ejected

Officially her publisher leaked the revelation, contained in a new book to be published on Wednesday, that presidential candidate Ségolène Royal had invited her companion of nearly 30 years, François Hollande, to seek new lodgings. This emerged during the aftermath of yesterday's election, somewhere between the AFP and television talk–fests./p>
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