The Big Doze

photo, cafe terrace, corona, the big doze Overcast, cool, slow and dozy.

Or Leisurely Twiddling Some Fingers

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Thursday, 23. August:–  Finally, this weather is becoming clear. It is not just the lousiest August summer on record – it is outstripping lousy Augusts that happened before records, further back than Roman times. It fact it is an entirely new kind of weather for western Europe. For the first time – tah tah! – welcome to France's first monsoon!

There is rain and there is rain. The rain we have falls in a hurry. It is impatient to hit the pavements, roofs, trees, parks, cemeteries, taxis, tents, outdoor swimming pools, flics directing traffic, and folks standing in lines waiting for buses or to get in places that charge an admittance fee. Yes, the rain is eager to fall on folks. It falls as swiftly as it can. If it feels like it is fluffy, it gets harder, thicker, wetter. 52,003 drops per minute are falling on tree leaves outside my place right this minute.

According to tonight's TV–news weather your chance to experience our monsoon might have been today because it is supposed to lighten up on Friday. Why tomorrow and not two days ago, they didn't say. A big low is supposed to be sliding down France, towards the Riviera. Wherever it goes, around here the situation is supposed to change from monsoon to better skies at noon Friday. Although still sub–sub, the temperature might get as high as 21 degrees. Don't take off your sweater yet.

photo, cafe of the week Another Café of the Week.

Saturday will start out with the worst weather lying over the whole northwest part of France. All the same, we are supposed to expect that it will somehow become semi–sunny around here. The temperature rising to 23 degrees, if it happens, may mean something.

Then on Sunday we have been told that it might be almost sunny, right here in soggy Paris. It might be dry too – though it will be far too soon to sit on the grass anywhere – and the thermometre is to take a big hike and pop right up the 26 degrees. I don't know. I want to believe this. Would I bet money on it? Would I go down to the Pont des Arts and throw my euros over the railing?

Nowhere In Pommeland

Destite weather threatening to break out, Mr. and Mrs. Météo Jim are taking their annual sojourn away from Pommeland and its mavelous weather conditions. I can't say I blame them, but they are entitled.

A la prochaine, someday, Météo Jim

photo, club area in cafe, empty The club awaits. This means you.

The Big Doze Club Report on Thursday

This week nobody is going to be tricked into reading a club report about no members – wannabe, new or otherwise – no City of the Week, no Drink of the Week, no Food of the Week, no fantastic Quote of the Week, no wonderful Doodad of the Week, no Group Photo of the Week, no lost and crazed Bird of the Week, and the Waiter of the Week was almost Patrick. You have the weather report above, and no non–report here – so anybody who has a 10% interest in something better, now's the time to get your eyeballs off this page. Ciao!

For those remaining, you of scant self–control, here are the tedious details. Terrible weather probably encouraged souls underway to stop in the café for a drop or two of onion soup, and thoughout the club's time slot they were not few. In fact they were noisy, but I read most of Le Parisien despite them. I took my time and when I had my fill there was still 20 minutes to kill, which I bumped off by leisurely twiddling some fingers.

photo, photo map, truck Is this a secret street view
spy truck?

Promptly at 17:00 I heaved up and out of the place, paid Patrick and wished Monsieur Ferrat a jolly and warm weekend. I took the crosswalk and immediately spied a van stopped illegally on the Quai du Louvre with some guy up a pole, apparently cleaning a six–pack of lenses on a waterproofed gizmo, that looked like it was meant for taking street views while rolling. "Aha!" I said to myself, "That looks like a Google operation."

Then, before rain could drag me down, I zipped up to Inno in Montparnasse to buy some oranges and bread. At the checkout the guy asked me if I weighed the oranges. Me, being the customer, I don't weigh oranges because the Monoprix I usually use, the beautiful cashier girls there weigh them for me, because I am a paying customer, not an employee. That is why I went into a grocery on Gaîté and bought one orange. I'll go and see my Monoprix girls for the rest tomorrow.

About the Café Metropole Club

Send your mouse to a club meeting report encased in the deep archive of the Internet. Speed–skimming long semi–boring reports is faster than being at tiresome and lonely club meetings but merely provides a hint of the true bill. Any explanation for what I was doing today may be unconvincing but can be found on the dubiously named About the Café Metropole Club webpage.

graphic, club location map

Wobbley Written Fine Print

Always as spontaneous as ever, half unrehearsed, semi out of control and again less than three members. A lot less. Club meetings are actually from 15:00 to 17:00 every Thursday. The next meeting will be on Thursday, 30. August. These times are not virtual but are the same as from 3 pm to 5 pm around some other places, while meetings are held around here. Whatever you feel like saying will be totally appreciated by the other members present if there are any and they are listening, and sometimes they are, but not always.* Your other, absolutely true, stories are all welcome too if they are funny.

Caution – should you have a personal desire to remain unfindable via the Web, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be 404 – not found by Web search engines before becoming found. To stay unfound refuse membership.

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since last week because leisurely twiddling some fingers raised some blisters, preventing me from concocting a longer, fictional club report.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.
Next club meeting on Thursday, 30. August.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini