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The Revolt of Orange

photo, postcards, backpacker, corona terrace, winter sun Never too early in the year for postcards.

Don't Fix It If It Ain't Broke

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Friday, 15. February:–  Holy smoke! My TV caused there to be no club report yesterday. Otherwise yesterday was a beautiful day. The sky was blue and the sun was shining and the world was in the right place. How did things get to be such a sorry mess?

It happened like this. Orange, formally known to one and all as France Télécom, changed their TV–via–the–Internet on Wednesday. By chance I turned on my TV to show somebody, and it was all different. At first it was fine, if different. Then I clicked around a bit and the decoder started saying Err.. O1. Sometimes it would change to Er.. 09 but than it would go back to Er.. 01. Aside from this minor technical detail there was no picture and no sound and no 60 channels including local TV from Beijing.

So I did what any upstanding citizen would do. Yes! I got the decoder to re–initial itself, by pulling its plug. On restart it said, Err.. O1 and Er.. 09. This TV stuff is coming from my Orange ADSL modem, so I did what any upstanding citizen would do. I pushed the re–initial button on the modem. Then some stupid pop–up window said, "You are not connected to the Internet even if the little fake light is green."

photo, orange of the week The best Orange of the Week.

You may think I am a total twit. I have been online since 1994 and I have been around this little circus before. By Thursday the sun was still shining and there was nearly no wind so I went to the club's café for the meeting. The only thing wrong with it was the lack of any members, past, present or future. It happens. It breaks my heart but it happens. Water under the bridge across the street.

But I had a plan. On the way home I went to an Orange shop where they sell ADSL modems and portable phones. I told them my woes. They suggested I phone Orange assistance. They lent me a portable phone to do it. The guy I got – after a 19 minute wait, checked my modem by long distance and told me it was connected. So I went home, ready to write the club report about nothing other than the nice day.

But he was wrong, wrong, wrong. He saw the same fake green light that I had seen. The phone was dead too. No hook to network, no TV–news and weather. So I watched the Blues Bothers on a DVD and did the club report photos that show what a nice day it was in Paris on Thursday.

I bet, since there is no club report, you want to know how I got out of this one. It was pretty simple. I didn't think of it sooner because I was rattled. Like everybody this techno junk has me in a stranglehold so when it flips out I flip out too. All I had to do was link to the IP of the modem and put in my ID and password. I forgot that re–initialling frys them.

I assume that happens to the TV decoder too because the TV still isn't working but one of those fake green lights says it is. I'll give it another shot tomorrow. I've done far too much today.

photo, sunset, pont des arts Three minutes more sunlight every day.

This has been a longer intro than usual. The weather usually goes in at the beginning but without the TV–news I didn't have any. Plus, if you can believe it, this morning started off gray, misty and cold. It stayed this way all day. It was horrible.

Just for the record, my last TV update was Tuesday. Beyond that I had Thursday's Le Parisien. It said mostly sunny for today with a high of 8 degrees. All fake. It was cloudy and the only temperature I saw said it was 2.5 degrees. That was grim.

The paper insists that Saturday will be mainly sunny with a high of 7 and Sunday should be mostly sunny with little clouds, with a high of 8 degrees. A check of Le Bourget weather central gives more or less the same sunny forecast until Monday night, perhaps with temperatures a degree lower but with a little uptick on Monday. Enjoy. Be my guest.

The Don't Fix It If It Ain't Broke of the Week Report

It was a wonderful day for a club meeting but nobody except the club's secretary took advantage of it. Patrick the occasional Waiter of the Week was back from his holidays, and there were a fair number of other folks on the café terraces and in the grande salle, possibly enjoying a quiet time on a winter afternoon, like the club's secretary.

About the Café Metropole Club

Curl your fingers around your mouse to see a club meeting report cached in a mousehole somewhere in these very pages. Less thrilling than reading the paper during club meetings but nothing is seldom perfect. A hint about what I might have been doing today may help and can be found on the About the Café Metropole Club webpage.

graphic, club location map

Patazone Heads West

Like all half unrehearsed Thursdays , semi out of control and on occasion, like today, absolutely no members. Club meetings run from 15:00 to 17:00 on Thursdays. The next meeting will be on Thursday, 27. March. The metric times are the same as 3 to 5 pm around other unmetric places, while meetings are held right here. Whatever you feel like saying could be heard by the other members present if there are any and they are listening, and sometimes they are, but not always.* Your other, absolutely true, stories are totally welcome too even if they are true.

Caution – should you have a personal desire to remain unfindable via the Web, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be 404 – not found by Web search engines before becoming found. Stay unfound if you must.

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged and shorter since last week because so few members came to be meeting today but it was okay because the secretary couldn't post a report even if there wasn't anything to report. I mean, really, no hard feelings!

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.
Next club meeting on Thursday, 27. March.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini