Adventure Times

photo, james macneil and his new shades Just returned from exploring, the Member of the Week.

Tiger and the Black Cobra

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Thursday, 2. October:–  As much as I love Arte I saw tonight's Turkish–German film before, so I may as well do this club report. The title of the 2004 movie was Head–On. A doctor asked Cahit why he wanted to commit suicide and he said, "How could you tell?" The doctor said, "You didn't use the brakes before you hit the wall." This was right after Cahit has seen Sibel with her slashed wrists in the waiting room. Sibel decided she wanted to marry Cahit to get out of her parents' house, in Hamburg I guess. She was young and he was a 40–year hippy, champion boozer, and going gray. From time to time a six–piece band played on a beach by the Bosporus while a lady in a red dress sang the plot in Turkish.

When I saw it before it must have been on my old TV, with bad color and poor sound, with the small picture. On the big screen it looked a lot more interesting even if I didn't think the Bosporus background was real. There were subtitles for the Turkish dialogue, but Arte offered the version original on a second channel. If it was a Chinese movie and they did that, the second channel was always Mandarin. Whatever is your beer – according to the listing in Le Parisien, Sibel and Cahit got married and then fell in love, but that wasn't the happy ending. I had to do a club report so I didn't see the ending the first time.

photo, first red wine after tiger beer After a week of Tiger.

The same economic crises that we had on Monday was still happening tonight even if the American senate voted to stop it. In Europe several plans were discussed, with Germany saying nein! to the French plan, and the Irish offering to bankroll everybody – everybody in Ireland that is. The French also have some idea about buying 30,000 unfinished apartments, to take a load off the promoters, but I didn't see them offering me one. I have a feeling that everybody who decided to move, didn't. The game stopped and everybody is staying where they are. For every furnished broomcloset for rent here there are 768 desperate seekers.

That is why the circuses continue. Why, just this weekend we have the opening of the Automobile Salon on Saturday, which is also the date of this year's Nuit Blanche. You can go down to the Porte de Versailles and look at bio–cars all day and then walk around all night. For once you'll be able to sleep all day Sunday without feeling guilty.

After News and Sports, the Weather

Did I say the heat is on? It came on, rather timidly, on a day that wasn't too cold. It was merely cool. Sometime between then and now the temperature slipped a big notch, down to 13 degrees today. That's about 55 F which doesn't seem too bad, except if it's compared to 19. Yes, yes, I know – we had Indian Summer for all of five days and it tried mightily to get to 19, but failed. I guess 13 is what we deserve. Extremely gloomy but slightly true weather details follow the club report.

The Adventure Times of the Week Club Report

photo, formula one race ticket for singapore A true first:
a Singapore F1 ticket.

I got the the club today looking forward to reading Le Parisien so as soon as I got myself installed in the club's – hallowed – area and noted that only three other places were taken in the whole café, I pulled out the paper and read the headlines and then skipped to page two to... skip reading about violences conjugales because it is the sort of subject that usually finds itself with the faits divers on page 17. Page four had some dude from the savings bank industry reassuring readers, and page six had Berlin disagreeing with Paris, with a photo of Sarkozy pointing at Merkle, and her pushing him away. Cool. I wonder what was going on there.

I did not have much time for that because member James MacNeil was sitting down, telling me how to spell his name – M a c N e i l – and ordering a pot of wine from Patrick the Waiter of the Week, because, he said, he had been drinking Tiger beer for a week in Singapore. Then he hauled out a kilo bag of gummibären and a fancy neck strap from some dive in Singapore. I was surprised. I was unaware that dives were allowed in Singapore. It has a reputation as sort of the Disneyland of Southeast Asia.

"Incredible! I gained three or four kilos," James said. He went on about what you get for an English breakfast at Raffles Hotel, what he had for lunch and for tea time, and for dinner while they were having a Formula One race in the dark. Actually they brought in some hefty generators and put bright lights on the whole thing because F1 cars don't have lights, or windshieldwipers, or turn signals. Then he mentioned the gourmet chicken wings – 20! – washed down with Dom Pérignon Champagne. Upon reflection he thought it probably hadn't been the highest quality meal of the week. Since it wasn't here, it gets no first here either.

photo, after wine, cuban cigar, matches Our little tableau.

If the above seems a bit vague, here's the lowdown. This club member skipped a meeting on purpose and flew on Singapore Airlines – rated: Great! – with gourmet meals all the way – to Singapore, where he went to all the trials and pre–races and whatnot, for the first Formula One race in history at nighttime, and had spare energy for eating buffalo wings and checking out the famous Kit Kat Klub.

James told me a lot of Singapore lore. It is on an island you know. Well, not really – it is sort of a faux–insel. There is some path you can take and see black cobras. These are the kind of snakes too mean to be in zoos so they are kept here. Then there's some reverse bungee thing. Instead of dropping you off a high bridge it flips you right out of Singapore. Right over, I guess, the heads of those black cobras.

Kidding aside, just remember that Singapore has an airline with wonderful service, food, and airplanes. Singapore, when you get there, has wonderful food. The club has two members from Singapore, and they said the food was great, the best in the world. Remember that Singapore is tidy, so watch your lousy litter. Remember also, that Singapore beer is Tiger and you can visit the famous brewery. James had fond memories of it from Vietnam. He took the brewery tour at last.

He said, "Tap for Zeus" and tapped his wine glass on the table. As he explained my mind wandered but I figured I could Google it. That was a mistake. By the time I got back he was talking about picking olives – ah, you don't pick them – you get in the olive bush or tree and jiggle it, to make the olives fall on a sheet on the ground. You can get three or four litres of oil from a tree.

Like many other club members who are rocket scientists, James has other interests, like olives, and cigars. We got to the end of the pot and my orange juice, and it was the end of the meeting too, but James dithered about whether he had time to smoke a cigar. We made a modest tableau for a photo, but went outside to the terrace to think about it and to capture the Group Photo of the Week.

photo, across the quai du louvre Across the quay today.

"Should I wear my new sun–glasses?" he asked. At the moment the sun was shining. It was low in the sky and there were a lot of reflections from windshields and table tops. James explained the ins and outs of Singapore sunglasses – 35 bucks for 198€ sunglasses! What the hell? Fly to Singapore for a F1 race and buffalo wings, costs a tidy packet, so why not treat yourself to sunglasses? The temperature there, day or night, 29 to 31 degrees, could cause headaches – you need classy sunglasses. You owe yourself.

That was today's club. The whole report of today's meeting without mentioning Paris dogs once. James put away his cigar and went off to buy some foodstuffs in Chinatown where they have some of those good spices from Singapore, and probably some Tiger beer too.

Cold Wind from Iceland Weather

The weather on tonight's TV–news was radically morose. Young Laurent on the TV–weather said it was going to be more like March than October. Do you remember what they say? Windy March. Here are the latest dismal tidings:

Friday is scheduled to have a morning and an afternoon and you might not be able to tell the difference because it will likely be raining, blowing, snowing above 1200 metres, all day even at nighttime. Winds will be to the tune of 70 or 80 kph from the northwest. High temperature no more than 13. On Saturday the forecast is slightly less, with wind from the southwest. Temperature expected, 14 degrees. Sunday has been forecast to be a tad warmer, but no less windy. In sum, it will be wet, bad, windy, cold, miserable and crummy.

About the Café Metropole Club

Groove your fingers, squish your knuckle and fumble your knee to click up some glittering past versions of club meeting reports stashed deep in this somewhere thing. No audio waves other than hearing actual members' frequencies during club meetings. No video at all. Real lame with words, just verbs, nouns, and pithy adjectives. Real blurry photos. A clue about what we might have been doing today may help and can be found on the About the Café Metropole Club webpage.

graphic, club location map

High Times In the Patazone

As unrehearsed as any day of the week and unusually, like today, a Thursday. Club meetings run from 15:00 to 17:00 on Thursdays. The metric times are equivalent to 3 to 5 pm around other unmetric places, while meetings are held right here. The next meeting will be on Thursday, 9. October in the afternoon. If you feel like saying something, it will be heard by the other members present if there are any and if they are listening, and sometimes they are, but not always.* Your other, absolutely true, stories are totally welcome too even if they are true.

Caution – should you have a personal desire to remain unfindable via the Web, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be 404 – not found by Web search engines before becoming found. All you folks staying lost, come back!

*The above grammer–checked report you may have just read has been enlivened by a surprise guest appearance by Singapore, a city state on the far side of the world, maybe just a tad shy of the Equator, although I am certain it is beyond it, close as it is to Malaysia where there are real tigers. Bowow!

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.
Next club meeting on Thursday, 9. October.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

Send email concerning the
contents to: Ric Erickson, Editor.
Metropole Midi © 2014
– unless stated otherwise.
logo, metropole sml midi logo No matter how good it tastes,
there is no such thing
as a free lunch.
Waldo Bini