...Continued from page 1

However, the actual 'virtual' card, as reproduced here for thephoto: virtual membership card dozenth time, potentially contains millions of vibrant colors; far more than any standard computer system palette of only 256 boring and horrid RGB colors.

Printing it in black and white is therefore highly derecommended. In mere black and white, it looks like some scrap ripped out of a sleazy coupon entitling you to five francs off the price of a six-pack of fake beer.

For 'virtual' or real Café Metropole Club members who have not managed to show up before now you will note that this is a 'virtual' membership card, which I have already mentioned more than once, above.

If you want to carry one around with you - perhaps to prove that you belong to an exclusive* club in Paris - you will have to make a print of it; in any color other than black, if possible.

*'Exclusive' in this sense means that it is the only Café Metropole Club in Paris that accepts people as members, and their friends, relations and pets if they are alive. Persons from other planets or asteroids are requested to not use the card. If you have had actual contacts with such people, snitch them off to the Interior Ministry as being alien aliens.

The Whole History of the Café Metropole Club

With its 11th meeting behind it, the 'Whole History' of the Café Metropole Club has gotten much too long to repeat and certainly too long to print, in any color. It is therefore, hereby, abolished. Ancient versions of its 'History' do remain online, somewhere in ' All Past Issues,' where they are covered with spilt-oil sludge.

The Café Metropole Club Is Good-Value For You

Your 'Club' is a truly amazing value for what it costs but it has no actual real, pretended or 'virtual' benefits, except for being free. Its single purpose is to offer an opportunity for the readers of Metropole to meet its 'Ed' and each other at its weekly meetings - or see him wondering whether to trim his nails if you decide to just peek in the window of the club's café.

The club's meetings are held in the centrally-located café La Corona. This café has drink, tobaccophoto: santa balloons products, post-cards and food, which now includes the Café Metropole Club Sandwich - which you should order without hesitation.

Other than warning you about how big one of these may be when served, I only wish to add that La Corona does not always have eggs, so these are disincluded in the sandwich, sometimes.

This figure is not our new mascot; not unless Christmas lasts all year.

'Virtual' membership is not only permitted, but encouraged - no one is excluded from membership by failure to be in Paris. Possession of the now somewhat antique but still colorful 'virtual' membership card is not obligatory if your color printer has run out of ink of any color.

For some weeks now I have been saying that the reading the club's online magazine, 'Metropole Paris' is not necessary, as some new members have proved.

This semi-anti-policy has changed to one that is very much more positive. Be darn sure to read every page of Metropole next Thursday for the latest news of the club's latest meeting and all the other features too. If you are having a relaxing siesta at the moment, set your alarm clock to Thursday now before you fall asleep.

photo: location map, la coronaPractical Information

Here are the day, time and location details for you to note:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral Coligny
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre-Rivoli or Pont-Neuf
Every Thursday at 15:00, until 17:00.

La Corona has a small 'salle' beside the bar and a large 'salle' behind the bar. There is a small terrace on the Rue de l'Amiral Coligny side, which faces west; and a big terrace on the Quai de Louvre side, which faces south. The Club does not have its meetings in either 'small' part.

The club's meetings are held at the far end of the big 'salle,' where there is little danger of being run over by the traffic on the Quai du Louvre.

When you enter the bar area of La Corona you will not immediately see any club activity. To find it, go around the left side of the espresso machine; away from the 'tabac' section of the café and into the big room behind.See photo above - go around the left side of the photo.

If you are unfamiliar with bars, La Corona's has a zinc top and a huge espresso machine with 26 nozzles. Near the cash register, you will not see a little wire stand holding hard-boiled eggs.

This object has been pinched by unknown persons. Go left past where the egg thing used to be and turn right to find the 'club.' If in doubt, print the photo, and when holding it upright, go around its left side. One of our waiters, Monsieur Ferrat is the blur making express café, rapidly, in it.

If this cornball scheme fails, simply ask anybody standing behind the bar - in any language that suits you - 'Où est le club, s'il vous plaît?' ['Club' is pronounced 'cloob.']

See you soon - A bientôt à Paris,
signature, regards, ricnewyear redstar

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