...Continued from page 1

If you do take the trouble to read the 'report' please don't write to ask me why Ira Poretsky said "Don't light your thumbs on fire!" I heard it when my right-side audio receptor clicked in for a split second, just before the political discussion started.

The Café Metropole Club Membership Card

Your club in Paris has a color membership card in an otherwise black and white issue this week because it is vitally important for potential members to have some tangible evidence of membership, for the period in which they are 'virtual' members.

Once you have signed the 'members booklet' in person at a weekly meeting of the Café Metropolephoto: virtual membership card Club in the café La Corona, it is no longer vitally necessary to have a membership card, in color or otherwise, but it is recommended in case you get caught up in a routine round-up of 'all the usual suspects.'

Just clip out the club's official membership card and add your own name.

The only tangible thing of any kind about the club is this card, and it almost isn't real. When it was first displayed here, I expected that aspiring members would simply clip it off their screens. Other members, who may have tried this, have told me it is more sensible to print it instead.

You can come to the club meetings without this card. Other members do it all the time. Let me just point out that the possession of the membership card is not at all obligatory or necessary, unless you are affected by the 'all the usual suspects' situation, mentioned above.

If you want to carry the membership card around with you - perhaps to prove that you belong to an exclusive* club in Paris - you will have to make a print of it. I'm afraid this has to be a 'rule.' Carrying the card on your person 'virtually' will not work.

However, 'virtual' membership is not only permitted, but encouraged - no one is excluded from membership by failure to be in Paris. The ritual for becoming a member in the privacy of your own home is simple:- Just repeat "I am a member" three times, while twirling your left hand around in the vicinity of your overhead.

*'Exclusive' in this sense means that it is the only Café Metropole Club in Paris that accepts all sorts of people as members. Any other Café Metropole Clubs in Paris that claim to be real are fakes.

The Whole History of the Café Metropole Club

With its 14th meeting behind it, the 'Whole History' of the Café Metropole Club has ceased to exist. Ancient versions of its 'History' do remain online - written in illegible Gothic script - somewhere in ' All Past Issues,' where they are now covered with mouldy bookworms.

The Café Metropole Club Is Good-Value For You

Your 'Club' is outstanding value for what it costs even though it has no actual real, pretended or 'virtual' benefits, except for being absolutely free.

Its single purpose is to offer an opportunity for the readers of Metropole to meet its 'Ed' and each other at its weekly meetings - or see him wondering whether to go outside and look for his door key, if you decide to just peek in the window of the club's café.

Important PR Information

The will be no regular edition of Metropole Paris next Monday. Club meetings will be held as usual on Thursday, both on this 20. January and the following 27. January. The club 'reports' for these two meetings will be put online as usual at their regular times, which may be Thursday in your time zone.

For some weeks now I have been saying that the reading the club's online magazine, 'Metropole Paris' is not necessary. This really only applies to next Monday's edition, which will not be.

Be darn sure to read every page of Metropole every Monday - new issue or not - and especially the two next Thursdays for the latest news of the club's latest meeting..

photo: location map, la coronaPractical Information

Here are the day, time and location details for you to note:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral Coligny
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre-Rivoli or Pont-Neuf
Every Thursday at 15:00, until 17:00.

The club's meetings are held at the far end of the La Corona's big 'salle,' where there is little danger of being run over by the traffic on the Quai du Louvre, which should be somewhat less now that the Seine's flood has receded, but is always heavy around the club's closing time of 17:00.

La Corona also has a small 'salle' beside the bar. There is a small terrace on the Rue de l'Amiral Coligny side, which faces west; and a big terrace on the Quai de Louvre side, which faces south. The Club does not have its meetings in either 'small' part.

If you are unfamiliar with cafés, bars or troquets in Paris, La Corona's has a zinc top and a sleek beer dispensing thingee with six nozzles, not all of which are for beer. Near the cash register, you *may* see a little wire stand holding hard-boiled eggs. Go left past this thing - if it is there - and turn right to find the 'club.'

If this no-fault scheme fails, simply ask anybody standing behind the bar - in any language that suits you - 'Où est le club, s'il vous plaît?' ['Club' is still pronounced 'cloob.']

See you soon - A bientôt à Paris,
signature, regards, ric

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