...Continued from page 1

Only Joe knows how many times I have worked like a donkey to get rid of the red-casts that turn up in the photos. I have to whack the old blue and green at them. If they get too much I have to do them over again.

The mirrors. La Corona is crazy with mirrors. A lot of Paris cafés have fewer mirrors than they used to have; I suspect that La Corona has taken in some orphaned ones.

Mirrors can make a small place look bigger. La Corona's big 'salle' is big enough, so its mirrors make me think the decorator had a uncle who had a lot of spare, unrelated mirrors he wanted to be rid of.

Two taxi drivers come in and order croque-monsieurs and within a few minutes this is what the big room smells like. The terrace door is open; have I been smelling street-gas all this time?

Traffic is incessant on the Quai du Louvre. City buses are coming past in convoys; and the drivers turning out of the Rue de l'Amiral Coligny are wearing racing gloves. Through a space under the parasols, between posters, I see the road is full of Twingos.

When the traffic clears a bit I see the far bus-lane is being used by yellow vélo-taxis, cyclists, roller-people, taxis. A street-cleaner on the near side hides this, then reveals hordes of scooters,photo: outside, reflection of outside motorcycles, a tour bus named 'Cosmos,' Kangoo mini-vans, Unos, Polos, Clios, a Smart, Fiestas, a Scenic - I watch for a while longer but do not see a Lupo. When is a Lupo not a Polo?

With all the mirrors it is not necessary to go outside to see the sights, unless it is sunny.

Would you buy a used Lupo? Only driven on Sundays, by Harpo Marx. What are they taking when they make up these names?

All of these are heading east and I suppose on the other side of the Seine all of the same kind of names are heading west. The Seine in the centre is clean, but its speedway flanks are three sorts of pollution. Hot rubber, hotter brakes, advertising on the taxis and puffs of diesel.

It is 16:55 and time to report that no members have appeared. Again. The 'Drink of the Week' is café again, too. There is no 'Food of the Week,' no 'City of the Week' unless it is Paris, and no 'Quote of the Week, because as the club's secretary, I am not about to accept 'Harpo drives like a Lupo.'

Next Monday's 'Club News' in Metropole

Again I can't re-run today's 'report.' Made up 'Quotes of the Week' are not for repeating.

Date, Time and Location of Next Meeting

Thursday, 30. March 2000 is the date for the club's next actual 'real' meeting. Come to the meeting if it is Thursday and you are in Paris. If you don't happen to be in Paris, wherever you are you can say "It must be Café Metropole Club day!" and I'll be darn sorry you are not at it.

The café La Corona meeting place will be as open as usual next Thursday, so the time for yourphoto: cafe club's meeting remains from 15:00 to 17:00 - which is also known as 3 pm to 5 pm in certain livre-and-pieces-of-eight time zones.

Come as you are, especially if you can. If you cannot be present - like today - you can read the regular - this week's - Monday page for your club's non-news as a substitute.

The not-drink of the week.

Instead of PR, instead an account of last week's meeting, it now features a string of words unrelated to club affairs - luckily - plus whatever scheme-of-the-week I've run up to see if anybody salutes. For next week, café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral Coligny
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre-Rivoli or Pont-Neuf

A bientôt à Paris,
signature, regards, ric

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