...Continued from page 1

"It might have been worse in the dark ages," Heather says locals are saying about the weather on the Côte d'Azur.

You see? Even paradise has its blotches. I'm sure Newport Beach will get another chance at being 'City of the Week,' or 'Marina of the Week,' whichever is more appropriate.

Jim is the first person in the living memory of the club to order a plate of potato chips - also known in Brit-speak as 'crisps.'

Charles 'Lower Taxes' Eitel has arrived and ordered his customary medium-big pot of reddish wine. Since we are talking about Mediterranean-type places, he tells us about Napoléon's flop of a campaign in Egypt.

He doesn't specifically mention that the author of this particular Napoléon biography is British, but British-authored biographies of Napoléon always contain a lot of flop stories, like Waterloo - and forget Austerlitz and the names of other train stations in Paris.

While Heather is telling me about her lawn that 'floated away' during the winter that is still happening, I hear Karen say she only talks about 'stocks she doesn't own.'

Despite Napoléon, there are a lot of British people living on the Riviera, Heather tells me. She says they have lots of local papers in English, but there is radio station down there owned by some outfit in Arkansas or somewhere.

Apparently the radio station said the Riviera was the greatest place in the world, except for all the Parisians who go down there and park on the sidewalks - which is a well-known Parisian habit.

What outraged the British community was the radio's use of the word 'sidewalk.' Apparently it isphoto: heather not cricket to use this word in English. I ask Heather what sidewalks are supposed to be called, but she doesn't know.

Somehow the meeting has become over about this time. Patrick and Monsieur Ferrat are happy, I am glad, the world is okay and it is not raining at the moment. I go past the parrots in the window in the Rue Saint-Germain-l'Auxerrois, and they give me some good stares - but not saying, "Buy me!" exactly.

Heather is not the first to make a phone 'report' of the club meeting, but the first to do it in a long time.

Back at the office I look up the word 'trottoir.' It says the British equivalent is 'footpath' or 'pavement.' I wonder what the British call the surfaces of roads, and whether 'footpaths' are paved.

The 'About the Café Metropole Club' Page

'Unofficial' club 'ex-rules' concerning your Café Metropole Paris Club - as opposed a 'crisps' 'report' like this one - can be found on the 'About the Café Metropole Club page,' which is about your club, and has a link on each issue's 'home' page, in case you overlook the one here.

Date, Time and Location of Next Meeting

The next Café Metropole Club meeting will be held on Thursday, 3. May, which is a week from today, like most other Thursdays have been up until now since the dawn of time.

If you are in Paris or not it will be the double Saints' day of Phil. and Jacq. Luckily, the following Friday will be just another ordinary Saint-Sylvain's day which was on Thursday last year - just like almost for dozens of centuries.

The café La Corona meeting place will be open as it is all the time well as every Thursday. Your club's meetingphoto: non guest, parrot time will be from 15:00 to 17:00 in Europe's Central European Time Zone - 'CET' for short and not 'POTP' - and elsewhere known as 3 pm to 5 pm otherwise.

What do club 'rules' say about parrots becoming members? Nothing - there are no club 'rules.'

The club's secretary, which is habitually myself usually in person, will be scribbling some 'report' notes during the coming meeting, but there's no need to pay any attention to this because 'Ed' manages to spell most members' names right, if they've written them correctly.

Dream up a new 'Quote of the Week' or propose your own new 'City of the Week' - or even invent any other 'Things of the Week,' if you want to share it, them, with other members - and readers of this online magazine with the club for members.

The café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny - or - 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Pont-Neuf or Châtelet.

A bientôt à Paris,
signature, regards, ric

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