...Continued from page 1

Anyhow, Laurent showed us how a motorcycle helmet could be worn backwards, but the light in the café wasn't too bright so the photograph may not have shown clearly what was backwards exactly.

Long-awaited Michael Hansen finally arrives - without his bicycle and four backpacks - indirectly from where he's been living in Milan for the past couple of years. In fact, having the three others of the group present, is a trick to get the four backpacks and the bicycle back to California without hiring space on a cargo ship.

While you may think all these arrivals are the sole purpose of the meeting - oops, a 'no rules' club has no purpose either - unless there are exceptions! - philosophical Anna manages to say that '10 rules are all we have,' and all the rest of them are merely lawyerly embroidery.

This prompts everybody to think up unnecessary laws. Michael tops them all with the news that a Milan law requires dog owners to carry two plastic bags - as a perfect example of Italian lawyerly logic.

This also brings up a book title along the lines of, 'It is Illegal to Tie Your Alligator to City Fire Hydrants.' You would think nothing can top this, but this is your club in Paris, so Sue hauls out her 'Flat Stanley.'

Another true 'first!' Of course, readers with wonderful memories will recall that this is not 'Flat Stanley's' first appearance in this magazine, but it certainly is a club 'first.'

"This 'Flat Stanley' was madephoto: flat stanley, sue by first graders in a school in Severna Park, Maryland," Sue says, adding, "And when he got a bit bent, he was laminated in a Kinko's in Chicago."

Don't ask me why - I don't know why, the notes I have say nothing - but then garden gnomes become a subject leading to film heroine Amélie and her fantastical café - and I tell Rob more or less where it is in the Rue Lepic.

Sue's totally Kinkoed 'Flat Stanley' is a major club 'first.'

During the 12 times I saw parts of the first 30 minutes of this cult film, there were no gnomes in it. But there have been other club members present at meetings ready and more than willing to join the 'Gnome Liberation Front.'

As long as readers join the Café Metropole Club first, the secretary's official position is that they are free to join any other club's that will have them. But or course, this club has no 'official position.' Doesn't it?

The Next Club Meeting

The next meeting of the Café Metropole Club will be on Thursday, 26. September. This will be a perfectly normal 39th Thursday in the year 2002 - with the day being named for the double saints, Côme and Damien.

These, I am not looking up in my 'saints' book. Most of them aren't in it anyway - being the names of towns instead - but double saints are out. They get a free mention and that's it. Fête them if it's your birthday, but you don't have to tell me.

The changeless paragraph which used to be here, is... [...not being here anymore...] - the less said about it...

The 'About the Café Metropole Club' Page

Find out how to become a member by taking a look at the page called 'About the Café Metropole Club.' However,photo: les motards if you are reading this 'report' of today's club meeting, 'how-to-become- a-member' should be perfectly clear.

The motorcycle-gang section of club members, wearing right-way helmets.

'Club rules' are so near zero that they don't even have 'exceptions' - but if they weren't, and did - they would hint that if you feel ignoring this 'About' page - do so. All you need to know is that you can be a member of this online magazine's live, free and real club in a twinkle by simply being at a meeting. If you think this to too easy, why not join the 'Gnome Liberation Front' instead? Or both.

Special Dubious Note

This week's unposed partial 'Group Photo of the Week' has been achieved for today's unique occasion by failing to have all present members present when they were, in fact, declining successfully to be in it.

What, Where, When, Who, How, Why?

Club meetings begin in Paris no sooner than 15:00 on Thursday and continue until 17:00, still on Thursday, in Europe's Central European Time Zone - which is 'CET' for short and not 'BOPT' - and known elsewhere as 3 pm to 5 pm in worldwide areas with 24-hour-time.

The club's secretary will be paying attention to members' every word at the same time as he may be cooking up some 'report' notes, which might be completely differentphoto: glasses from anything any members say at a meeting. Please note your name, hometown, and your own email address in the members' booklet. The club's secretary often forgets to remember to ask members to do it.

This year's first, possibly last, 'arty photo of the week.'

Come prepared with a new 'Quote of the Week' or propose your hometown as 'City of the Week' or invent any other 'Things of the Week.' True 'firsts' are neat too. 'No-names' is an option you can also opt for if you prefer to be 'not found' on the Internet. Otherwise and in general, the only exception is 'no rules.'

What you say may be appreciated by the other members present, if there are any, and if they are and are listening - and by all readers of this online magazine, if they read it - if it turns out to be written here.

The café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny - or - 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre-Rivoli, Pont-Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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