...Continued from page 1

Don then shows us his hand-sized computer that tells the time for hard-of-sight people in Paris, New York and Seattle, and Susan shows us her silvery portable phone that also shows what time it is, but for sharp-eyed people only.

Kathi then tells us about some little shop that has a variety of mini- massage devices, for very fair prices because most of them are made of recycled paperclips. Whatever they are really made from, they are a lot less expensive in Paris than in the United States - where people hate to pay a lot for paperclips no matter how beneficial they may be.

This leads, ever so naturally, to quiche. Paris has, according to all of the club members present, the best quiches for the price, whatever it is. Um. More quiche per europhoto: don's palm clock, 1627 than anywhere else in the funky western world? Kathi says, "You can't get these anywhere else."

Look. I'm just the club secretary. Unlike a lot of the club's members, I haven't been 'everywhere else.' So I write this down in good faith without knowing if it is true or not. Just like I don't know if 'Beverly, New Jersey' is true or not.

Don's pocket watch tells three times, at least.

For example, Susan states flatly that Houston - the one in Texas - is, "More humid than central Borneo."

This does not go completely unchallenged by Kathi and Bill, who claim that Brooklyn can be pretty humid too - maybe not like Houston, but at least like central Borneo. And Seattle, it goes without saying, gets so humid that it is actually wet a lot of the time.

Since we are not going to get a 'City of the Week' - and the Paris hustler subject is finished - we'll settle for the 'Poster of the Week,' which only members and residents who are here can see now, but will be on a Metropole poster page in the next issue.

The left bank's department store Bon Marché is having a Karl Lagerfeld exhibition, and this is being advertised all over the city. Kathi says, the photo of good old moden-König Karl, "Looks like Max Headroom."

Who, the secretary wonders, is 'Max Headroom?' But the club has 'no rules,' so maybe whoever it is can be 'City of the Week.' If so, it'll be a true 'first.'

Call for Your Favorite Restaurants

This subject, already so frustrating forphoto: susan's portable phone both readers and club members, goes 'on hold' for at least another week. While the secretary remains firmly at his post, the 'Ed' of this magazine has contracted to do ranch-sitting at the lonely Cadillac Ranch for the coming week.

The 'Call for Restaurants' will continue to receive candidates for favorite restaurants, but they will be tossed on the same stack as the ones already received.

If Susan's time is too tiny to read, she can phone out for it.

Do not give up even if it seems like I am practicing benign neglect. I can't help it if all I want to do is feed the daisies and water the cat while the beloved- by-all server-lady plays dodg'em with avalanches.

About the 'Café Metropole Club About' Page

Should you be firmly convinced you want to become a member of this club it could be an idea to read the 'About the Café Metropole Club' page first. Nobody will try to stop you from not reading it. It explains a bit about the club, like about it being free. The rest of the information isn't nearly as exciting.

Pass up this 'About' page if you aren't interested in club lore. All you really need to know is that you can become a member of this online magazine's live, free and real club by simply being at one of its meetings in Paris. It's like the club that's too silly to join, so members only do it for fun.

Most true club 'lore' has already been forgotten. Luckily all of it that once existed can be found in past club 'reports' if you are courageous enough to plough through decades of them.

Why Not, How, Who, When, Where, What?

This club's meetings begin - punctually on time - in Paris about 15:00 on Thursdays and continuepostcard: breakfast in america until 17:00, in Europe's typical Metric Time Zone - which is really 'CET' for short and not 'iTMZ' - and known elsewhere as 3 pm to 5 pm in some other areas of the globe, even though club meetings are usually only held in Paris.

A true 'first' - the 'Daïneur' of the Week.'

Come along with your own new 'Quote of the Week' on the tip of your tongue or mention your hometown, or anyplace in New Jersey, as a possible 'City of the Week' or invent any other 'Things of the Week.' Brandnew true 'firsts' will be welcome too, with 'first' usually having preference over 'true.' The club secretary's 'firsts' are not eligible.

'No-names' is an option you can also opt-in, or out, for if you prefer to be 'not found' on the Internet, or 'in-out-opted.' 'No rules' have creased being an 'exception' or a 'rule' either anymore. There are some other 'exceptions,' but really, very small ones.

Whatever you say will be truly appreciated by the other members present, and there almost always are some, and if they are listening, which they do sometimes - and by all readers of this online magazine - if it should happen to be written here, as some of it is, sometimes.

The café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny - or - 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre-Rivoli, Pont-Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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