...Continued from page 1

Mark Kritz isn't about to divulge his secrets and takes his leave. He is replaced by the server-lady, Lindaphoto: non member cats Thalman, who has just been savagely attacked by a RER exit gate slamming shut on her nose. She shows us her wound. "Bloody hell" she says. "Mugged by a closing door!"

Photos of the Cadillac Ranch cats. The one on the right likes to bite the feet of friends that feed it.

There is no defense against this type of rare occurrence. Every once in a while an entry or exit gate will decide to be bolshy and slam shut for no apparent reason - sometimes separating travellers from their luggage.

Pushing luggage through first is a good idea. This leaves the traveller unencumbered in case of an unprovoked attack by dumb machinery on a rampage.

But not to worry. It is less common than dodging madmen scooter drivers racing down the sidewalks. While I am engaged with thinking I will write this to be reassuring, I am brought back to the meeting when the server-lady says, "Why would I have half a clue?"

This is, without doubt, the 'Quote of the Week.'

Ah. We are back wondering where the girls are. Linda decides to teach Will some popular song lyrics. "Haven't you heard this? 'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?'" In a former life, Linda was a language teacher.

Both Bill and Will's foreign language is Latin. Bill tries a Latin verb that works pretty well in French. I think a good métro exit to watch may be Odéon, but tend to think there may be better ones - like out in front of the Café Le Bouquet on Daguerre.

Next thing, Linda is rooting around in her purse, looking for photos of her cats. The Colshers say they didn't bring their photos. Will says their cat likes sleeping behind their warm iMac, but the TV set is too hot.

Linda asks about the métro to take to get to Galeries Lafayette. Everybody brings out a map. "We live here and use maps too," Linda says.

I wonder if she isn't supposed to be going to dance class tonight. "What day is it?" she asks, doubtfully.

"It's Thursday because we're here," Bill says.

This is, without doubt, another 'Quote of the Week.'

"A quick chicken place - American-style chicken," Beth says, "Has a flag with only 12 stars."

This is not exactly out of left field. My notes do not say so, but we were talking about all the flag stories that are going around these days.

For example, in this issue's crime story, there is a quote from a historical proclamation about exactly how the French flag is supposed to look. It might have been correct then, but isn't now. And I'm still waiting for eagle-eyed readers to point out the mistake.

Before the meeting winds up, I ask the Colshers if they can give me advice about how to keep Metropolephoto: terrace, la corona running, by using second-hand Macintosh- based equipment. I can only afford to do it 'Good, Bad and Ugly' style, and they seem kind of enthusiastic about this puzzle. Like true Mac folks.

A café terrace today which happens to be the terrace of the club's café.

Afterwards, I guide Linda two blocks to the métro entry in front of Samaritaine, so she can take the line seven to Galeries Lafayette. This is not a real good métro exit for watching young ladies wearing their summertime duds, so I head for Le Bouquet.

What Used to Be Here

The 'Call for Your Favorite Restaurants' used to be here, but I'm going to let it go to sleep without totally giving up on the idea.

About the 'Café Metropole Club About' Page

Becoming a member of this club is really easy if you read the 'About the Café Metropole Club' page. The page says a bit about the club, like about it being free and other stuff. If you require any other information, send me 25 cents or a lottery ticket

Don't bother looking at this 'About' page if lack of details disturbs you - they are not contained in the weekly 'reports' either. You don't really need to know more than the simple fact that you can become a member of this online magazine's live, free and real club by being at any of its meetings in Paris, in person and awake if possible.

Why, Not, When, Where, How, Who, What?

The club's meetings begin - contrary to Paris 'exceptions' - about 15:00 on Thursdays and continue until 17:00, in Europe's ex-summer-like Zone of Mythical Time - which is really 'CET' for short and not 'YAWN' - and known elsewhere as 3 pm to 5 pm in rare Anglo areas of the globe, even though club meetings are usually only held in Paris part of it.

Bringing your own 'Quote of the Week' or concocting any other 'Things of the Week' are not 'rules.' True 'firsts' are always welcome too, with 'first' having preference over 'true.' The club secretary's own 'firsts' are disqualified even if 'true,' unless a member will accept credit.

'No-names' is an option you can also opt-in, or out of. If you prefer to be 'not found' on the Internet, or 'in-out-opted.' 'No rules' have ceased being an 'exception' or a 'rule' anymore.graphic: club location map There are some other 'exceptions,' but really, not many of them are rules.

Whatever you say will be honestly appreciated by the other members present if they are listening, which they really do sometimes - and by all readers of this online magazine - if it should happen to be written here, as some of it is, sometimes.*

*The above paragraph changed since last week on account of the secretary getting bored with it unchanging.

The café's location is:

Café-Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny - or - 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre-Rivoli, Pont-Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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