...Continued from page 1

Some members periodically disappear into the grander part of the café's 'grande salle' to form a sub–club of smokers. When they look like they are staying there wrapped comfortably in fumes, the secretary urges them to return.

For the rest of the meeting the members play the musical chairs routine, forming neat talking–packs. The secretary abandons attempts to keep any notes about this. Even if he had multiple microphones, the night wouldn't be long enough to transcribe the tapes.

The solution? Call for the club's 'Group Photo of the Week.' This is arranged more easily than usual. Eva Lee holds up the sixth consecutive 'Bonjour Sally!' sign. I wonder if Chicago is as cold as New York these days. No word from Chicago probably means, yes.

Laurel returns from the café's downstairs waterworks with two civilians who are easily convinced that they should become members of a club they never heard of before five minutes ago.

The club has no rules against signing up members who don't know what they are signing up for, other than it's freephoto: susan, alan mattingly and for life. I read the 'rights' to Susan and Alan Mattingly, who currently live in Paris because the New York Times sent Susan to the International Herald Tribune to edit some words for this historic and famous Paris daily.

For Alan and Susan, on a day–off in Paris, strange things happen.

Today they are having a rare day–off, and just happened to find themselves outside La Corona at the same time as they happened to be thirsty. They are not the first club members to join the club by being shanghaied by club members who believe the club can't have too many members.

Even if the club's secretary sometimes wishes he could sit and read La Parisien for a quiet two hours on winterly Thursday afternoons, those café days seem to be over.

In fact, it is like 'old times.' Gaining two new members after 17:00 has been done before, and like before, the new members are not included, by chance, in the 'Group Photo of the Week.' Susan more than makes up for the sheer random chance of joining by providing this club meeting with a true 'City of the Week.'

It is Davenport, Iowa. It has taken the combined efforts 219 club meetings to award the distinction bestowed on it today. I hope the wait has been worth it, for both the club and an unwitting Davenport.

The 'Soldes d'Hiver' Continue

This year's Soldes d'Hiver in Paris continue. As of today, there are still some bargains available for sharp–eyed shoppers who realize what '–50' means. The final day of this annual shopping fête will be Saturday, 7. February.

About the Café Metropole Club's About Page

Today's 'report' about this club meeting is actually more garbled than others, but you might not have read somephoto: formidable demi 0.5l of the other utter wingnut 'reports.' The 'About the Café Metropole Club' page may clear up some mystery in this area if you are curious to know what this is about, but the 'About' page was written by the club's secretary too.

This half–litre of beer is a 'formidable' and not a 'demi.' It is semi–full.

One vital remains fact – whatever you may think, there are not many others. You can become a lifetime member of this online magazine's free, live, and real club by simply becoming a member during any of its meetings in Paris, for free. This is a lot of value for 'free' because it might not even require the effort of reading a club 'report' first.

Where, How, Who, What, When, Why Not?

The club meetings start about 15:00 sharp, always on a Thursday, and sort of continue until about 17:00, in the European Time of Paris Winter – which is really 'CET' for short and not 'les horribles temps d'hiver' although perfectly true – and elsewhere known as 3 pm to 5 pm. All of these meetings happen is Paris, except for rare ones in New York.

Doing anything at a meeting – like arriving – is encouraged. True 'firsts' are welcome, with 'first' having a slight edge in 'report' value over 'true.' Don't get the wrong idea – 'true' is fine too. This may be a French-type 'exception,' because France is proud to have the world's greatest number of exceptions to ignored laws.

If you prefer to be 'not found' on the Internet, begraphic: club location map sure let the club's secretary know – before you forget. If necessary you can even be at a meeting and not be at it, 'report–wise.' Former 'rules' have ceased and have been removed from the club's chronicles except for the ones still online. All 'exceptions' to any other 'rules' have been temporarily suspended forever.

Talking in foreign languages like Scottish at meetings is fine. If there's a free chair sit wherever you like, or haul one over from another part of the café. Whatever you say may be truly appreciated by the other members present, if they are listening, which they actually do sometimes – and by all readers of this online magazine, if it happens to be written here, as some of it is sometimes. All of it is never written here sometimes.*

*The above paragraphs are unchanged since eons because last week's koalas turned out to be pandas. 'Leave, shoot, eat.'

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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