...Continued from page 1

To really annoy him, several of us tell him about the European invention of A–4 sized paper, which is half the size of A–3, which in turn is half the size of A–2, and so on and so forth up to A–zero. While used dot– matrix printers may still be found – maybe right here in Paris – the appropriate fanfold paper is probably no longer with us.

James says even if it worked, the government wouldn't want it. Then somebody tells him Eva is a public defender. He asks, "Do you have more fun on the other side of the courtroom?" While Eva is saying yes, even though a lot of people who end up in court shouldn't be allowed out on public streets without minders, Ana is remembering her childhood in Lima.

"We had a TV set but there was nothing on it until I was four," she says, adding, "We bought it and waited and waited..." – for a couple of years, it turned out.

Eva, I think, seems to be saying that New Jersey needs a drive–in court, as a convenience for drunk drivers. Others, the US southwest gang, have a lot of stories about bombed drivers in New Mexico or Arizona who do not slow down for towns because there are so few of them. You'd think they would appreciate their novelty.

In the midst of all this, a couple of members have said they are leaving before the meeting is over because they have already thought up something different to do, so everything is stopped in order to put the 'Group Photo of the Week' into its can.

Out on the Corona's terrace I look through the viewfinder and am amazed that everybody fits within its boundaries. Oops. Barry is off to the left, so I re–shoot. I back up until I am nearly sitting in the street. Some second–sense urges me to look over the camera's top plate – ohmygosh! there's Joe way over to the right, nowhere near being in the frame.

Officially, this has been a 12–member meeting. Joe had the number wrong. You are also right if you countphoto: messy club table only 11 heads in the photo at the top of the page. I'll say, 'close enough for Metropole work' if I am called on this.

Typical club table covered with a shambles.

When we are back inside the café, everybody who is left is discussing various violent winds that blow in different parts of France. Somewhere, pretty much all the time, there are serious winds. If you happen to see cows in the trees, be sure to fill your pockets with heavy rocks.

As the remaining club members decide to 'carry on,' Tomoko reminds me to not forget to take the gift of the somewhat thawed–out frozen poison Blow–fish with me.

James has not brought his citation book – so he doesn't give me a ticket for having a prohibited foreign fish in my possession. Lucky me.

Last Chances for the 'Soldes d'Hiver'

The final day of this annual shopping fête will be Saturday, 7. February. If you miss out now do not givephoto: cake package up all hope – the 'Soldes 'd'Ete begin in about five months.

About the Café Metropole Club's About Page

Today's 'report' about your club's meeting is far more garbled than other recent ones, but how can you tell unless you are at a meeting? The 'About the Café Metropole Club' page will not clear up any of the mysteries in this area, but does contains vital facts about the club.

The cake box from Japan.

The sole vital fact you need know is – there aren't any others. You can become a real lifetime member of this online magazine's free and live club by simply becoming a member by attending any of its meetings in Paris, for free. More for 'free' you can't get.

Why Not, How, When, Where, Who, What?

The weekly Thursday club meetings start about 15:00 sharp, always on a Thursday, and continue until about 17:00, in the European Time of Paris' semi–annual 'Fake Spring' – which is really 'CET' for short and not 'le vrai beau temps de février' although perfectly true – and elsewhere known as 3 pm to 5 pm. All of these meetings happen is Paris, except for one time once in New York City.

Doing something at a meeting – like coming to one – is a good idea. True 'firsts' are welcome, with 'first' having a slight edge in 'report' value over 'true.' Don't get the wrong idea – 'true' is fine too, especially if everybody believes it.

If you prefer to be 'not found' on the Internet, be sure to inform the club's secretary – before you get found by Google.graphic: club location map If desired you can even be at a meeting and not be at it, 'report–wise.' Former 'rules' are 'former' and have been removed from the club's chronicles except for the latter ones still online. All 'exceptions' to any other 'rules' have been temporarily suspended forever.

Talking in local languages like Swiss at meetings is fine. If there's a free chair sit wherever you like, or haul one over from another part of the café. 'Sitting' is still optional. If they are listening, whatever you say may be truly appreciated by the other members present, and there usually is some sometimes – and if it happens to be written here, it could be read by all the readers of this online magazine, as some of them do part of the time, because all of a 'report' is never written here sometimes.*

*The above paragraphs are unchanged since last week because some club members are were still 'carrying on' today when I last saw them.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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