...Continued from page 1

Then Don tells me about the lens he didn't buy. This is the famed 'defocus' lens. This lens focuses perfectly well, but has a special feature that allows the user to fuzzy–focus it. Too much detail in that portrait? Use the fuzzy–focus lens!

I can hear the Métro rumbling underground and I can feel it vibrating through my shoes. If you wanted to take photos of mushrooms on the moon from inside this café the Métro would probably defeat you.

Shooting Don across the table, hand–holding and using available light – not much of this today – it would be perfect to have the 'defocus' lens. 'Yeah, Don is unsharp. I owe it all to my wonderful fuzzy–focus lens.'

May as well get under the table, lie on the floor, and shoot through the table bottom. 'Yeah, I used myphoto, blitz, don, nikon custom–made wood penetrating lens.' Any idiot can handle auto–focus, it takes real skill shooting through wood. Almost as much as with a 1948 Brownie at midnight in the catacombs.

But Don, you know Don, he's got everything photographic. He says, "Say you are making a portrait of somebody 80 years old. Use the 'defocus' lens and they may look like they're only 55."

Who blitzed who with what?

Put this way, of course, there's a lot of possibilities. But Don says he's got some shopping to do. I say that Tomoko will be showing up any minute and he should wait to see who she comes with today. If it was Ringo Star last week, it might be – golly, Tomoko might show up with Zeppo Marx.

After Don leaves, the couple at the club's end table feel that it's safe to stay on for a while. Monsieur Ferrat comes by while I'm reading the paper again and asks if there have been any members present today. Yeah, I think, we got blitzed. The Métro underground is tickling my feet. Outside on the Quai du Louvre and crossing the Pont des Arts, there's a wind that peels the smile off my face.

The Answer of the Week

Last week, member in good standing, Rita, wanted to know – what is the name of the part of the anatomy that is in the centre of the face between the bottom of the nose and the top of the upper lip? The answer has been supplied by the time of today's club meeting, today, but where is Rita? No matter – the mystery word is 'philtrum.' Thanks to all who sent answers so speedily.

Sight of the Week

Glittering Rodeo Drive in Hollywood, decorated with 20 hand–made chandeliers made by Baccarat. Valued at $50,000 each, the classy light show is getting a mixed reception from Angelos. Some think Rodeo Drive is already too nifty. On the other hand some visiting oil magnates think the chandeliers would look nice in the Middle East, and they are making offers for them. Meanwhile, Rue Mouffetard merchants are wondering when the city intends to supply this year's promised holiday kerosene lanterns.

Shopping & Soldes d'Hiver Alert

Sunday shopping is the order of the Christmas season with many shops of all sizes intending to be open on 12. and 19. December. For afterwards, the official word is that the coming Soldes d'Hiver will begin on Wednesday, 12. January and continue for a bit more than five weeks until Tuesday, 22. February. Bring hard money.

About the Café Metropole Club's About Page

Today's club meeting 'report,' totally lacking an any 'Sense of the Week,' had at least a mention of frites. Thephoto, corona terrace 'About the Café Metropole Club' page has a lot of fussy fine print, but you can skip it and not miss anything vital. In case you do decide to skip everything, all you need to know about the club can be found out by joining it on any Thursday you happen to be in Paris.

Colorful but cool café terrace in December.

You can become a real member for ever of this online magazine's real, live, and free club by becoming a member hyper–rapido on a Thursday by signing–in yourself during a meeting in Paris, in the café's 'grande salle.' If you read this paragraph, you can skip the preceding one.

The club's 'rules' evolved into legendary folk tales, concocted by the club's members a darn long time ago. The club's other distinction is that it is the only club related to an Internet magazine that operates with no forms to fill out, no newsletter, regardless of how many requests there are for one. To unsubscribe to or disconnect, you need do nothing, not even unsignup.

When, What, Why Not, Who, Where, How?

The club meetings start about 15:00, on Thursday afternoons and drift off around 17:00, on the same Thursday afternoon in the western European Time zone – which is really 'CET' for short and not 'UZZO' although it sometimes is – and known elsewhere as 3 pm to 5 pm. Club meetings are held in Paris. If the club's secretary gets a better offer, where is it?

Be fiendishly clever at a meeting – like being at one – and become somewhat notorious for a few minutes if you are in any mood at all. True 'firsts' are welcome, with 'true' having approximately the same point value as 'Of the Week,' especially if crossroads are concerned. 'True' is honestly acceptable too, if it's legitimately 'first.'

There's just one note of caution – you may have any one or more personal reasons for being unfindable via the Web. If so, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be '404 – not found' by Web search engines before becoming 'found' in one of these club reports. If in doubt, Google yourself.graphic: club location map

Former 'rules' continue to be 'former' week after week after week, month after tedious month, year after boring year, and have been eliminated from the club's hyper–volumes of archives except for all the originals still online buried in the deep and dark basements of western Montmartre.

Talking to other club members at meetings is an encouraged activity rather than optional if there aren't any. If there's a free chair, sit – wherever you like, or haul one over from another part of the café. What you say will likely be much appreciated by other members present if there are any that are listening, and there usually are one – and if it should chance to be written here, as tons of it is, haphazardly.*

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since last week because this week's only 'Food of the Week' was sugar, in lumps, for the secretary's café.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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