...Continued from page 1

The remainder of the day's news is even less exciting. Luckily member Tomoko Yokomitsu arrives. "No new Beatles photo!" she says, and then asks that I return the one she gave me. In order to not forget it I placed it in my bag weeks ago and forgot about it. I hand it back, feeling like a magician giving up his last rabbit.

The 'Waiter of the Week' makes a rare pass so I order the standard double– expressphoto, cafe cup and Tomoko orders a café décaf alongé. I try to tell her that 'décaf' has more caffeine in it than regular, and 'alongé' more again, but she says she orders it because it's cheaper than orange spicy tea. It is news to me.

Standard, full–strength, sleepless, café.

Tomoko says La Corona doesn't have any orange spicy tea anyway. I am not surprised. To get off the subject of the 'Drink of the Week' that wasn't, I ask Tomoko for photo ideas. It is beginning to look like there won't be any 'Food of the Week' either and a 'Group of the Week' will not be allowed to come out like last week's, because Heather's glasses aren't here.

"I didn't being Kitty," Tomoko says. Until she reminds me that this is her mascot, one of them, I am in the dark. "Someone might steal her," she explains. I must look crestfallen because she remembers that her telephone has a mascot, and she hauls it out. It is a very little mascot, named 'Puppy,' for a pretty small mobile phone.

I'm desperate so I shoot it. Macro, close–up. The cafés come and I shoot them, and shoot too late when Tomoko drops sugar in hers. Plop. This looks so good that I ask her to do it again, but she says one lump is all she wants. She agrees to fake it and almost drops in two more.

Tomoko is talking about 'post–traumatic stress disorder.' She says the word for it in French is 'spasmophile.' I write down 'spasmofolie' instead. It's not the first time I have written a word that doesn't exist, a 'Word of the Week' in other words. I don't do it on purpose.

When Tomoko goes to Japan she consults an acupuncturist. There aren't enough of them in Paris, and few do their stuff on the local Sécu. A session here might cost 40€ out of pocket, but in Japan the rate is only 500¥, with proper connections.

Tomoko shows me a handy 'spasmo' trick – pinching between the thumb and the index finger, justphoto, tomoko x 3 hard enough to be slightly painful. She says, "But you feel good," then warning, "You could fall asleep right away!"

Yes, I could. But I don't pinch myself hard enough. There's still a bit of meeting left to conduct.

What's that taste? Not tea! Not café!

Which, luckily I'm not asleep, allows Tomoko to have the idea that the club should have a mascot – like, for example, 'Willy' the bird. I draw 'Willy the Bird' in the 'reports' booklet.

On the other hand, the pinch might have worked. The remaining notes are extremely fragmentary. There's 'cut' and 'cheap' and 'sleepy.' Somebody has drawn a clock, and under it has written, "summer time.' Yawn.

About the Café Metropole Club's About Page

photo, mascot willyToday's club meeting 'report,' with attendance somewhat below average, lacked anything edible and little to drink other than café, both regular and denatured. The astonishing 'About the Café Metropole Club' page has few sexy photos, but you can skip them all entirely and miss nothing other than a heap of words. The short version is that the club can be joined any 'Thursday of the Week.'

Who, How, Why Not, Where, When, What?

Club meetings commence about 15:00 in the afternoon, on Thursday and extend to 17:00 or after on the same afternoon in the western European Time zone – which is really 'CET' for short and not 'zTZZ' although it sometimes is – and known elsewhere as 3 pm to 5 pm. Around somewhere else is not where meetings are held, so come to the Corona first.

Be fiendishly clever at a meeting – by being at one or more – and peg out for a hour or two especially if you have the time for it. True 'firsts' are welcome, with 'true' having more added value than 'first' regardless if 'first' is perfectly believable too, and if it is an acceptable form of 'fact' with any sort of vague relation to reality.

A note of caution – you may have any one or more personal reasons for remaining unfindable via the Web. If so, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be '404 – not found' by Web search engines before becoming 'found' in one of these club reports. graphic: club location map Throw your name into Google if in doubt.

Former 'rules' continue to be 'former' week after week after week, month after month, year after everlasting year. Nevertheless these could be studied so that you know the gaffs of the past and are not condemned to repeat them like we are fond of doing.

Talking to other club members at meetings is encouraged rather than optional if there aren't any. There are usually free chairs, so sit – wherever you like, or stand up. Whatever you say will be highly appreciated by other members present if there are any that are listening, and there usually are some – and if it should chance to be written here.*

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since last week because the club's membership is crying out for a mascot but it took until today for Tomoko to put it into words.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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