...Continued from page 1

By now we have been joined by members Edna and Bob Bradley, and by Sherry Quayle from, she says, Atlanta, Georgia. Alpharetta is in the members' booklet. Kathy tells us about her indirect flight from hell, punctuated with missed connections and separate destinations for baggages, and post–flight service in India.

Which reminds Edna of the chaos at Roissy, reminds somebody else of 30 phone calls, to talk to somebody on the other side of the world about a problem 30 kilometres north of here. And it reminds Bob of the 'baggage strike' which is really about a gang of thieves, now under lock and key in the dungeon.photo, beer of the week

Wow. This is nothing! On the ground, here is the city of light, there's worse. Kathy has a TV with cable but when she pushes the buttons, no matter how many, she gets one channel. She says she wants Noos, meaning the cable operator, and if she could get news she would like that too.

Edna and Bob have a problem like this as well. Two remotes, satellite, cable, hundreds of theoretical channels, and all they can get are the standard, local, five channels. The good side of this is going out to Chantilly to have some cake with chantilly on it. Not all rosy, of course, because they had to go through Gare du Nord, but I don't hear the details about this unavoidable miss–mash.

Only one, so it's... guess '****' of the Week.'

There are not only complaints because the members have discovered that they all grew up in California, within about 500 miles of each other. To add to this, Rita Martinson arrives. Rita has been in Paris a really long time on her visit, living up on Montmartre.

Rita heard that Noos isn't the most reliable, so she signed up for France Télécom's TV–cable. Rita has too made the 30 phone calls, possibly many to Dakar, and still only gets the five local channels.

Ralph says, "I think the United States is the greatest country on earth but..." and he is drowned out by my attention being overtaken by Kathy saying she grew up wearing Birkenstocks.

At home I have no cable, no satellite, just an apartment antenna and the five local channels, three of which are wobbly. So I read books and I have come across this word, Birkenstock, and think it is some mountain climbing accessory, perhaps for downhills.

So, about shoes. Bob puts his on the table. These are the round front and back ones, comfortable, but a bit unstable if not on shipboard. Somebody says, "Has anyone seen the 'D–Coils?'" These are supposed to have steel coil springs in them. Kathy says, "Mini–trampolines!"

Have I mentioned that the 'Waiter of the Week' came by and supplied the members with drink? Should I mention that, since I winked him over, he tossed the bill for the whole thing onto the members' booklet. I push it into a puddle from frosted glasses.

The best is, after we return from a hilarious so–called 'Photo of the Week' session out on the café's terrace, we get the incomplete story of the 'Tarzana Reunion.' This is the name of some good old town, named thusly because Tarzan used to live there, sophoto, sherry, bob, kathy, edna beloved by its current and former residents that they have a reunion there. Dates, frequency, unknown.

More 'Smiles of the Week' from Sherry, Bob, Kathy and Edna.

The official history, all versions of it, is brief. Edgar Rice Burroughs settled there in 1910 and called his spread the 'Tarzana Ranch' because it was the local name. Two years later he created 'Tarzan,' but it was some years later that the book was published. In fact, Tarzana was supposed to be called 'Runnymede.' Imagine, instead of 'Tarzan of the Apes,' he wrote 'Runnymede of the Apes.' Tarzana was incorporated in 1930, but despite everything, is not a legit 'City of the Week.'

As we are leaving the café Edna is remembering the Turkish toilet in the Champs–Elysées McDonald's. She is outraged that they charged for its use, in 1985.

The Café Metropole Club's About Page

This club meeting 'report,' today's, hammered out on filthy keys, gives slight clue to what this is about. If you have a half a minute to waste skip your blues over the virtual 'About the Café Metropole Club' page with its silly fandangle of color photos, boring words and the tired wreck of a membership card. You may join the club too, without fuss, bother or shame, on any 'Thursday of the Week.' There are a short month of Sundays of them left this year.

How, Who, Where, What, Why Not, When?

Club meetings, as these things are termed, begin at 15:00, in the afternoon, on Thursdays and continue until 17:00, always in the western Euro Time zone, now in its downhill slide into autumn modus. Known in semi–foreign places as 3 pm to 5 pm, around somewhere else is not where meetings happen. Come to the café La Corona and its 'grande salle' and bring a friend. The folks in the rear of the 'grande salle,' sprawling around, are us.

Attend a meeting – by being at one. Hang out for a hour or for a whole meeting with new friends. Real 'firsts' are welcome, with 'true' being equivalent to 'real' even if 'first' is more than likely too, and if it is an alternate form of 'true' with any sort of connection to reality, like fictional facts or true lies.

A note of caution – you may have personal reasons for remaining unfindable via the Web. If so, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be '404 – not found' by Web search engines before becoming 'found' ingraphic: club location map one of these club reports. Try Google with your own name if in doubt.

'Ex–rules' we used to have continue to be former. Nonetheless these former rules may still be accessed so that you can learn that this less than hypothetical club of high reason repeats them seldom as they are already on record.

Talking to other club members at meetings is encouraged rather than optional. There are usually several empty chairs, so sit – wherever you like. Standing is okay too. Whatever you say will be truly appreciated by other members present if there are any listening, and there usually are some but not always – and if it should chance to be written here.*

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since last week because of today's quite uncalled for but spontaneous 'Tarzana of the Week,' regardless of whether it is true or not.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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