...Continued from page 1

Before the finer details of the new award can be enumerated, Tomoko Yokomitsu arrives and immediately tells us that she is no longer Tomoko Yokomitsu but is now Yoko Kana. At first we are skeptical but she explains that her name written in Chinese characters is something or other unlucky, and her new name may be less unlucky. She promises us an update once she gets the new version verified.

photo, tomoko's handsYoko's hands at today's meeting.

But before we can discuss this startling news in depth Josef Schomburg arrives. Recent new members and already–members may recall that Josef ably hosted the last three club meetings in the guise of 'guest Ed,' took the photos and wrote the reports, and has come today because of unaccountable sleeplessness.

And before he can settle in long–time member Mark Kritz puts in an appearance, while waiting, he says, 'for a plumber.' But even before this another member has arrived from Antwerpen in Belgium, but at first the club's secretary is unaware of the fact – buried deep in past club reports – that we have discussed Edgard Hubert's notional diamond business already.

Meanwhile Mark is telling us how he came to acquire new glasses by way of talking to a limo driver near the Tuileries, who suggested that Mark could look 30 years more up–to–date with new specs.

Then in the midst of discussing recent student highjinks – "Who wants a bad job with low pay?" Mark asks, adding, "I had that for years!" – new members Jane and Richard Nystrom arrive from Chicago, Illinois, and offer to lend Mark a plumber.

Yoko says that French TV–news claims that a worker's paradise exists in Britain. She does not say that TV claims that there are work opportunities for former French prime ministers in Britain, but one can hope.

Then Mark asserts that he must see to his plumber and we all rise and pile out the door for the 'group photo of the week' which goes off without a hitch and only mildly annoys some passers–by.

On return to the club's square roundtables there is more talk, fleetingly of those Belgian diamonds, chocolates, the fashion Mafia, Chinese wives in Vancouver, the views in cemeteries, the 15 lousiest towns in Texas, the portable phone swindle, the Peace Corps as a club for oldsters, and the smell of horse poo in the Tuileries.

Amazingly this is one connected subject rather than nine unrelated subjects, as much as you may misbelieve how horse poo connects to the phone business, but they both stink, don't they?

photo, wine, beerToday's drink of the week.

Then Jane, who has lived in at least 45 different towns, displays her organizational skills by handing around variously–colored visiting cards, in exchange for visiting cards from those of us who are clever enough. The club's secretary goes without.

Shortly after the club meeting ends Josef and the club's secretary are taking a refreshment in Ernest's Café in the rue de Seine across the Pont des Arts, when Pic the Freak cartoonist drops in and almost before you can say Houston Ship Canal Pic and Josef are exchanging visiting cards as if they've got a hot hand of Texas Give'Em Up going.

Now that I remember the scene it comes back to me that I should have got the name of that plumber that Richard was offering Mark.

The Café Metropole Club's About Page

It is hardly possible but if this so–aptly named meeting 'report' leaves you perplexed, treat yourself to an richly detailed explanation by reading the 'About the Café Metropole Club' page, for its many worthwhile sentences.

What, Why, Where, How, When, Who?

Club meetings begin at 15:00 every Thursday and continue until 17:00. These times, fixed in blue steel, are also said to be 3 pm to 5 pm. Around somewhere else is definitely not where the next meetings will be held.

graphic: club location map

Pass a hour or two or a whole meeting with other club members pretty much like yourself. Real 'firsts' are welcome and true stories will get a sympathetic hearing. Other stories will depend on your skill. Attend as many club meetings as you can stand.

Caution – should you may have the personal mission of remaining unfindable via the Web, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be '404 – not found' by Web search engines before becoming 'found' cavorting in one of these fantastical club reports.

The 'ex–rules' that the club once had are still former. Talking to other club members at meetings is perfectly fine rather than optional. There are always some empty chairs, so sit. Lounging is okay too. Whatever you say will be truly appreciated by the other members present if there are any listening, and sometimes there are but not always – and if it should by freak chance be written here.*

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since last week because of the club's secretary too–hasty return from tasty spring in Queens to frigid Easter in Paris.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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