...Continued from page 1

Well, this is all very thrilling and everybody involved – except the snitch or course – has to go on the TV–news and say their version of what they knew, when, but who can keep track of it? It sure cuts into the time that should be devoted to the inventors at the Foire de Paris home salon. And those nice days we had – the reports from the bikini shores were drastically slashed.

But rest assured – I've got my eyes peeled on and my ears tuned to the old tube. After a couple of weeks of breathless reports adding up to nearly nothing I am convinced that this Clearstream deal will turn out like a good many major cases here – as it already has, once – it is going to be much ado about nothing.

But if it's part of next spring's presidential campaign, well, these people aren't just playing hardball with balloons, but dirty hardball.

The Latest Café Metropole Club 'Report'

Last week's 'Club Meeting of the Week' last week took place last Thursday in the club's café which was about what club members expected if any other than Yoko had been there. Cast a glance at the 'report' of the meeting, which, with supreme inspiration was titled, 'Yoko At Ease.'

photo,statue, luxembourg, pondThe best place to do not much.

The coming meeting of the Café Metropole Club will without doubt be on a Thursday, with all the usual trimmings such as a new 'Waiter of the Week.' The 'Saint of the Week' will be Sainte Estelle–de–Saintes, who was from an old family of Druids, with a powerful Roman for a father, who became annoyed and put her to death in the arena, and had her mentor's head cut off with a hachette for good measure.

The otherwise true and inspiring story of the club is on the 'About the Club' page. Lest curiosity befall yourself throw a gander at the club's original and hand–made membership card, before its replacement with a sturdy item.

This Was Metropole Two Years Ago

Issue 9.19 – 3. May 2004 – this issue's Café Metropole column was headlined, 'The Kazoo Race – Too Big To Understand.' The week's 'Feature of the Week' concerned 'May Day 2004 – Four Parades Instead of One.' The other 'Feature of the Week,' about the terrific slogan contest, was titled, 'And Now for the Winners! – of the Bumper–Sticker Slogan Contest.' There was a repeat Scène column with the title, 'Par Amour de l'Art, and Thread Trips.' The update for the 6. May meeting of the Café Metropole Club bleated the "That's Only a Truck–stop!" report. There were four total–zen 'Posters of the Week' and Ric's weekly cartoon gave off a taste of oxygen, with 'Air, Spring Air!'

photo, sign, rue antoine dubois

This Was Metropole Four Years Ago

Issue 7.19 – 6. May 2002 – in this issue the Café Metropole column was about 'No 'Good Old Days' for Paris.' The week's Au Bistro column screamed 'Election – France Wins!' The lone feature's headline was, 'Parisians Vote for May Day 2002, Massively.' The report for the Café Metropole Club meeting on 9. May was handled as the 'Best Friends' Plus One, Minus One' report. There were four neozen–cool 'Posters of the Week' and Ric's Cartoon of the Week lit up the page with, "Emigrate to Canada?"

Spreading Some Untrue

For the 41th time, nearly in a row, this is not about some musty old saint, but is instead an exciting and apt 'Quote of the Week' loosely based on a true one. Once upon a time Edward R. Murrow, who was a newsguy, said, "The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue." Mind you he was thinking of real news rather than the kind of fiction featured in Metropole, which is, at times, equally untrue.

If the Past Is Any Indication

Invented on this day by pillroller Dr. John Styth Pemberton, Coca–Cola refreshed its first thirst in 1886, when a clever waitress added soda to the thick, black syrup to create what has become known in France as, "La boisson gazeuse la plus célèbre."

New, Better Pataphysics

Tarzan – the Sequel Many people like to make fun of Tarzan, or of the actor most closely identified with the Ape Man. Lex 'Alexander' Barker's birthday is today, so we should remember that after a career as 'Tarzan' Lex moved to Europe and appeared in another 40 films, including La Dolce Vita, in which he sort of played himself, an ex–Tarzan hanging out having the 'sweet life' in Rome. In Germany he starred in 13 films, playing Old Shatterhand, a character of the 'Old West,' imagined by Karl May, who made it all up. Tarzan was awarded a Bambi for 'best foreign acting,' in 1966. And who can forget his rendition of the hit song, 'Mädchen in Samt und Seide?'

'Day' of the Week

Over here it is Victory In Europe Day today, which is gradually becoming simply Bravo Europe Day! Originally the date was supposed to by 9. May but some hotheads quit the Second World War a day early and it's what we're stuck with. In Germany, on the 40th anniversary in 1985, President Richard von Weizsäcker said it was 'Liberation Day' so we can all say this instead if we're uncomfortable with 'Bravo Europe.'

Forgettable Dates of the Week

There are a whopping 236 days left of this year, which means there are whole mess of days until the begin of the Soldes d'Eté. This is exactly the same number of 'days left,' as at this time in the year 1794 when liberal scientist Antoine Lavoisier was tried, found guilty and guillotined, all on this day 212 years ago. A short time later it was decided that he wasn't guilty at all but by then the damage was done. This is completely unconnected to the fact that this year has used up 129 days, the same number that 1541 had when Hernando de Soto found the Mississippi River and misnamed it Río de Espíritu Santo.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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