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The Next Café Metropole Club 'Report'

While I was in New York there were no club meetings in Paris. This changes this week on Thursday when the Café Metropole Club meetings resume at the usual time in the usual place if it hasn't been demolished to make way for a new gigantic luxo hotel and clothing boutique, urgently necessary because Paris is slipping badly in this vital area of human activity.

The coming meeting of the Café Metropole Club will be on the Thursday, 11 January. The Saint of the Day on Thursday is now known at this time. It concerns Saint–Paulin d'Aquilée, who was was running around the Bordeaux area in the years from 750 to 800. Frankly I am not positive this Paulin is the right guy because the date doesn't seem to stick and I don't think he was martyred or anything. Our Paulin was a poet and that's enough, isn't it?

photo, fake cow at the cheese stand, home sweet marche Return to raw cheese from local cows.

Some actual facts about the club and its true legends are on a page called the About the Club Webpage. If you have a smidgen of English you won't require much more of it to understand some theories, some idle speculation, and don't forget to overlook the club's moldy hand–crafted membership card before its update, impending now for the past 42 months.

This Was Metropole Ten Years Ago

There are exceedingly few Internet magazines that can claim to have a 10 years ago but this is one of them. However this is the new, better, wonderful, era – of Google, for example – which means that everything that ever was here is findable if you know what to look for. It certainly wasn't the case in 1996. But no New Years resolutions! No promises. No bigger, no better, more color, high definition, podcasts, videologs, Flash animations! Just more ads, to pay the rent.

Café Life Légère 99.8

Meaningless Lying

The Quote of the Week is a whopper this week. Get this – "All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense." With my hand on heart I swear I did not make this up. I found it on the Wikipedia Quote Website and it is attributed to Principia Discordia. If I didn't know better I would suspect that they were inspired by Metropole.

photo, sign, yellow cab, toy car

The Wobble–W Corner

There are a mere 357 days left of this year, the same number that 1297 had when François Grimaldi, dressed as a poor Franciscan monk slithered into Monaco and captured the place, nicknamed The Rock, without having to pay for an expensive siege or bump off a lot of defenders. Monaco had been the property of Genoa since 1215 and the Grimaldis had been kicked out of there twice. For some reason the Genoans let them have it, probably because it was far enough out of town.

Necro Pataphysics

This is totally unconnected to the fact that this year has used up 8 days, the same number that 1499 had when Louis XII of France married Anne of Brittany. Only 23 years earlier Louis married Jeanne of France – no relation! – only a daughter of his second cousin, but he got that marriage annulled so he could marry Anne, the widow of Charles VIII, the rich daughter of Francis II of Brittany. There were plenty of raisons d'étât for all this but even by the low standards of those days it was really sleazy.

photo, sign, cat and bird almost in hand

Early Dot Com Dropout

If it were not for Metropole to remind you of Alfred Vail and his contribution to the 1838 invention of Morse Code you might think he was just another clever inventor tricked out of his proper due, for being in on the beginning of the commercialization of the telegraph. But he wrote to Morse, "I have made up my mind to leave the Telegraph to take care of itself, since it cannot take care of me." Morse, of course, became a gazillionaire.

The Ex–Question of Schleswig–Holstein

In 1324 Marco Polo died at home in bed in Venice after a long life and many travels to far off places like China. Legend says he introduced ice cream, the piñata and pasta, especially noodles, to Italy from China. However it seems as if the Etruscans might have been enjoying spaghetti and meatballs as early as 400 BC, according to walls decorated with these tasties. The Etruscans are not known for having invented ice cream, however.

Happy New Year! A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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