...Continued from page 1

Much clearer, all about the club and its thrilling legends are on the page normally called the About the Club Webpage. Most readers who have a notion of English won't require much of it to understand the understated facts, some unlikely fables, and don't forget to view the club's zonked hand–crafted membership card before its renewal, pending now for the next 49 months.

photo, sign, rue de l'epernon

This Was Metropole Ten Years Ago

Other Internet magazines that claim to have been online for 11 years are fibbing, most of them. This and a dime gets you next to zilch – like no free nothing, no blogs, no flashy flash, no instant instants, no other upload your snaps, no practically anything other than words words words. It is so little and insignificant that seems worth the lousy dime. You may as well send it after all.

Café Life Légère 88.6

Impotently Happy

The Quote of the Week is less boring this week than last. After last week's flop I thought nothing would ever top it. So I was wrong, again. "Learn this lesson, that to be self–contented is to be vile and ignorant, and that to aspire is better than to be blindly and impotently happy." Better not wish Edwin Abbott happy birthday today, whether it is or not, myth, fact, fancy, or if his name was really Edwin Abbott Abbott Abbott Abbott.

photo, sign, rue serpente

The Wobble–W Benz Corner

There are a mere 336 days left of this year, the same number that 1886 had when Karl Benz patented the world's f“rst automobile, which he called the Benz Patent Motorwagen. He invented the motor, the gas pedal, the ignition key, the spark plugs, the carburetor, the clutch, the gear shift, the radiator and the ash tray. The first person to buy one, in 1888, went crazy. The second buyer was – what else? – a Parisian. Emile Roger liked his Benz so much that he started to make them in France. Then Bertha Benz got it into her silly head to go for a drive. She was the first person in the world to drive to Pforzheim. When she got there she sent a telegram to her husband because there were no phones in Pforzheim then. It is unknown what Benz said when he learned that his only car was 106 km away. Gas stations hadn't been invented yet.

Aeronautical Pataphysics

This is totally unconnected to the fact that this year has used up 29 days, the same number that 1964 had when the movie Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb was first screened in the United States. Stanley Kubrick was the director and the film was loosely based on a Cold–War thriller by Peter George, titled Red Alert. Of the four parts contracted, Peter Sellers played three and Chill Wills played the fourth, the B–52 bomber pilot. In the same year I saw the film in a cinema in northern Sweden. Nobody laughed. The film was about guaranteed mutual destruction, a sort of WMD on steroids – which is still around.

Early Dot Com Heros

If it were not for Metropole to remind you of Jacques Chirac and his vital contributions to mankind, you would probably remain unaware that he is credited with a definitive end to French nuclear bomb testing exactly 10 years ago today. No less important was Sweden's ban on aerosol sprays in 1978 which has benefitted the ozone layer over the South Pole but has had slight effect on Global Warming because only 14 Swedes ever used spray bombs for painting anti–war slogans on the walls on cinemas showing Dr. Strangelove.

photo, model, citroen traction, retromobile

The Ex–Question of Schleswig–Holstein

Many folks are probably unaware that today is the anniversary of the world's latest exploding whale. The decomposing sperm whale which was beached in Taiwan in 2004 was being hauled away for a post–mortem exam when it blew up in the town of Yunlin. The 17 metre–long animal weighed 50 tons and when it blew there were an estimated 600 bystanders, rubber–neckers, shoppers and the merely curious, who were showered with slimy whale parts, blood, bones, gunk, dreck, and massive amounts of goop. According to a BBC report a local said, "What a stinking mess! This blood and other stuff that blew out on the road is disgusting, and the smell is really awful!" – said in Chinese, of course.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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