...Continued from page 1

Far less legendary, all about the club and its honest truths are on an fat page called, without wit, the About the Club Webpage. Some readers who possess an active notion of English won't fail to glean the few and astonishing facts about it, and should not hesitate to view the club's um–zonked hand–crafted membership card before its renewal, pending now for the last 139 weeks.

This Was Metropole Ten Years Ago

Few other Internet magazines claim to have been online for 11 years, for various undefined reasons. The other important item that was to be here this week has been cancelled. It was actually true. Coming soon is the explanation of Ten Years Later, as soon as I make it up. Don't whine about it later if you don't feel like waiting for it now.

Café Life Légère 90.9

Cheer for Crooks

photo, scappalo, pates Instead of pizza.

The Quote of the Week is boring again this week but at least it's exciting, a situation that has altered little since last week when it was claimed to be less boring for two weeks in a row. "Since when do we celebrate our commander in chief for violating our most basic freedoms, and misleading the American people in the process? When did we start to stand up and cheer for breaking the law?" Let us all salute Russell Feingold, who seems to spend some time in Washington asking questions no one will answer, and then telling the answers to the folks who elected him back home.

The Sloppy Wobble–W

There are as many as 301 days left of this year, the same number that 1886 had when Charles Gallo threw a vial of some prussic acid into the centre of the Bourse de Paris. When this had no effect Gallo pulled out a pistol and fired blindly five times, causing no victims. Without interrupting the session of trading, Gallo was arrested, convicted and sentenced to 20 years of forced labor. He was, of course, an Anarchist, and like most of them he couldn't shoot straight.

photo, sign, rue du cherche midi

No–Look–Back Pataphysics

This is totally unconnected to the fact that this year has used up 64 days, the same number that 1558 had when Dr. Francisco Fernandez presented some tobacco to Philippe II, King of Spain. The tobacco was from America where it was cultivated and consumed by local peoples who used to be known as Indians. Used for religious ceremonies, reputed to have healing powers, the evil weed turned out to be exactly what dirty old Europe wanted. By 1560 ambassador Jean Nicot was peddling it in France and nobody has looked back, not until five weeks ago.

Hammerless Laughing Gas

photo, sign, grignon srs, decors, baths, tiles

It's unnecessary to thank Metropole for reminding you of the invention of the repeating pistol on this date in 1836. This marvel was dreamed up, mostly, by Samuel Colt, a former peddler of laughing gas. But he had other ideas too and when he was 18 he had some gunsmiths in Baltimore make up models based on his plans. Colt didn't claim the invention, but his were a more practical variation of Elisha H. Collier's revolving Flintlock, patented in Britain. Initial models, manufactured for the US Army, had shrouded hammers but the soldiers didn't know it until they took them apart and couldn't put them back together again. Colt should really be remembered for his notions of mass production which he was the first to formulate in detail. He also added outside hammers to reduce the confusion.

The Ex–Question of Schleswig–Holstein

Some folks might be unaware that today is the anniversary of the impeachment in the US Senate of President Andrew Johnson in 1868. Despite having forced the French to get out of Mexico in 1867 and having a Secretary of State named Seward smart enough to buy Alaska from the Russians for the pittance of $7.2 million, Johnson was nearly the first US president to be impeached, but was acquitted by a single vote. This was, of course, unrelated to Shefqet Verlaci becoming Prime Minister of Albania in 1924 and of Paul Okalik being elected as the first Premier of Nunavut in 1999 and then getting reelected in 2004. Finally, for true history buffs, let us not forget that Joseph Vissarionovich Djougachvili died today in 1953, aged 73. His nickname was Stalin.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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